Slaughterhouse-Five Page #6

Okay, Dad.

What's happened?

Where am I?

Welcome to the planet

Tralfamadore, Mr. Pilgrim.

Tralfam...

Tralfama...

Tralfamadore.

Oh.

How did I get here? There is no

"how,"Mr. Pilgrim. There is no why.

The moment simply is.

I don't understand.

Where are you? Oh, you

can't see us, Mr. Pilgrim.

We live in the fourth dimension.

But we can see you,

and there are many important

Tralfamadorians here to welcome you.

Oh. Well, uh,

how do you do?

We hope that you'll find your

accommodations here suitable.

I have to stay here?

I'm afraid so.

You mean, I can't leave

of my own free will?

Mr. Pilgrim, we have visited 31

inhabited planets in the universe.

We have studied reports

on a hundred more,

and only on Earth

is there any talk of free will.

Well...

What'll I do?

You will aid in the removal

of the bodies.

Those that are identifiable...

will be tagged.

Their personal effects will be

tagged and given to an officer.

There will be

a classifiication...

according to the degree...

that the victim

can be identified.

Any looting or stealing...

will be dealt with

by a firing squad.

Follow me.

It looked like

the end of the world.

What looked like the end

of the world, Mr. Pilgrim?

Dresden, after the bombing.

Don't be so egocentric.

We know how the world ends, and

it has nothing to do with Earth,

except that it

gets wiped out too.

Really? How does it end?

While we're experimenting

with new fuels,

a Tralfamadorian test pilot

panics, presses the wrong button,

and the whole universe

disappears.

But you have to stop him!

If you know this, can't you keep

the pilot from pressing...

He has always pressed it,

and he always will.

We always let him,

and we always will let him.

The moment is structured

that way.

Mr. Pilgrim, a pleasant way

to spend eternity...

is to ignore the bad times

and concentrate on the good.

It's... It's all right!

It's all right!

Will you be quiet, please?

Will you please be quiet?

Can't you see

you're frightening her?

Who are you?

Who are you?

My name's Pilgrim.

What's this scene?

- Where are we?

- We're on a distant planet.

Are you mating now?

What?

Have you mated?

Who are you?

I'm a Tralfamadorian,

Miss Wildhack.

A what? You're on the planet

Tralfamadore, Miss Wildhack,

423 billion miles from Earth.

Oh, Jesus.

Hey, hey. Hey.

You're okay?

Yes, thank you.

When were you born? What month? What month?

What month?

July.

What day? The fourth. The fourth ofJuly.

You're practical, straightforward,

with a belief in others...

based on your own integrity

and almost compulsive honesty.

You're a moon child!

Oh, you're a moon child.

I'm a what?

A moon child. That's your sign.

Were you born in the morning or the afternoon?

It doesn't matter. I don't have my charts.

Miss Wildhack? Would you

like something to wear?

Oh, yes.

Thank you very much.

Um...

I was, uh...

I was down in Palm Springs at a

home of a producer friend of mine,

sunning myself

by the pool.

That's why I'm like this.

I don't want halter marks.

Naturally. And...

all of a sudden,

it was like a... a ray...

This is all I can offer. Thank you.

And... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt.

Th-That's all there is.

And the next thing, I was...

I was here.

What's it like up here?

I don't know because

we can't leave the dome.

The atmosphere of Tralfamadore

is cyanide.

It would be fatal to you

if you left the dome.

This is it?

I'm... afraid so.

How long will they keep

us here? I don't know.

You are here,

you have always been here,

and you will

always be here.

Is he trying to blow

my mind?

No, no, no.

It all makes sense in a way.

You see, in Tralfamadore...

Would you please mate now?

Look. We're not going to put on

a show for you. That's one thing.

Another is I demand you get

Miss Wildhack some clothing.

If she's cold, we can always

regulate the temperature.

Now, you get down to Earth

and get Miss Wildhack...

a complete wardrobe,

and one that fits!

What's your size?

I take a 10.

But I have to take it in here

and let it out a little here.

So, they'll have to bring a needle

and thread. Did you hear that?

And remember, Miss Wildhack

is used to the best.

Thanks! Uh...

- Billy.

- Billy.

Now we would like

the night canopy.

Why do you wish

the night canopy?

Because we want it!

Will you mate?

We hardly know each other! Do you mind

if we take time to get better acquainted?

You are acting very unnaturally.

We would like

the night canopy.

Oh, very well.

Would you like to sit

on the couch?

Where is it?

Here. Just take my hand.

Ooh!

Ooh! I'm sorry.

Um, that's all right.

Careful.

Get away, Spot.

He's not bothering me.

I like dogs.

Come here, Spot.

Come on.

It's pretty comfortable, isn't it? It's fine.

They got everything

from Sears and Roebuck.

I appreciate what you said

to them about me.

Thank you, Miss Wildhack. Montana.

Montana. You don't meet many gentlemen...

in the entertainment

business.

I'm an optometrist.

Oh.

Would you like

to kiss me?

Yes.

You kiss nicely.

Thank you.

Oh! Did I hurt you?

Oh, no!

Oh!

Mr. Pilgrim?

Miss Wildhack?

Are you mating now?

Billy!

Billy, look at this!

Look at this! Perfect.

There's not a chip on it.

It's exactly like the one we had at

home. The one your son Johnny broke?

Yeah! How'd you

know about that?

The letter you wrote home. Of

course. It's a miracle, isn't it?

This little dancer survived

all this destruction.

Wait'll I bring it home. Can you

imagine how Meg's eyes will light up?

Arbeit!

She'll love it.

Diener?

Was haben sie da?

Oh, uh, look at this.

I found this down there. There's not

a chip on it. It's pretty, isn't it?

We had one like it.

Used to sit... Oh!

What's the matter?

Feuer!

Stop! Stop!

Billy. Billy?

Billy?

Where were you, honey?

Billy? Do you like this?

- It's nice.

- It's, uh, not too tight?

A little, maybe.

I'm so big here.

I like it.

That's 'cause you're a man.

- I'm gonna have to let it out.

- I really think...

Give me something to do.

Oh. You like it too,

Spot. Huh?

He always growled

at my wife.

Do you miss her?

She died. Somebody smacked

into the rear of her car...

and the exhaust fell off.

She died of carbon monoxide

poisoning.

Wow. Like what

they have out there?

No. That's cyanide.

That's worse.

Oh, wow.

What did you love most

about her?

Her pancakes.

If we had a real stove,

Billy,

I'd make you an out-of-sight

macrobiotic souffl.

I'd like that.

And then...

we could think

about having your baby.

Could we have

the night canopy, please?

Oh, Daddy! There is no such

planet as Trilaflamaduke!

Dad, I think what Barbara and

I would really like to know...

Would you be willing

to see a psychiatrist?

Listen, I have a friend

who's not only a doctor,

but he's interested

in outer space.

Why don't the three of us

have lunch together today?

I'm not going to commit myself to

an institution. Dad, I wasn't...

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