Sleepaway Camp II: Unhappy Campers Page #3

black Ray-Ban sunglasses,

a saw, 50 feet of rope,

the battery from my car...

A portable electric drill,

10 pairs of panties, three bras.

We've been a busy boy,

haven't we, Rob?

And four athletic supporters.

Yeah, one of those are mine.

Oh, which one?

The bras or the panties?

Touche.

Hey, I got a joke. Listen.

Where do you store

lint from belly buttons?

- Where?

- In the navel reserve.

- Hilarious.

- Yeah, that's really funny.

Hey, you want to hear this?

Okay, like I was playing

soccer once in this game,

and I was running, and

this guy came to trip me...

HI-

- Molly.

- You want some company?

How did you know I was up here?

I followed you.

Hope you don't mind.

No, of course not.

It's so pretty up

here, isn't it?

Yeah.

Have you ever been in there?

No, you can't.

It's all boarded up.

So, you didn't come all

the way up here for nothing.

- Is there something wrong?

- We"...

Does it have to do

with you and Sean?

Mmhm.

He's a nice kid.

Even if he did talk back to me.

You like him a lot, don't you?

Mmhm.

But Ally likes him too.

Oh, don't worry about Ally.

Sean's smart.

He knows a good thing

when he sees it.

Yeah, but she's so popular.

She's even a cheerleader.

So?

Well, guys like to go

out with cheerleaders.

I tried out for it,

but I didn't make it.

I guess I just didn't

cheer loud enough.

I'm so shy sometimes.

I used to be shy.

- I'd never talk to anyone.

- You?

Now you can't get me to shut up.

It's more than that. Ally...

She's more experienced.

Which means she probably

has a disease or two.

- Angela!

- Well...

In this day and age,

you can't be too careful.

And no matter what they say,

boys like nice girls.

I'm still a virgin.

And I'm proud to be one.

But I feel so awkward.

I don't know what to do.

Well...

There's a saying

that my aunt taught me.

It's helped me through

a lot of hard times,

and it goes like this:

Keep your morals strong

and you'll never go wrong.

Okay.

- I gotta get back.

- Have I been any help?

- Lots.

- Good. Gimme a hug.

Let's go.

Gross slimy gopher guts!

Look out! Putrid round

elephant hearts.

Dead teenager brains.

Angela. What's really in there?

Dead teenagers' brains.

Hey, grab some paint.

I got this idea

about a year ago.

If this doesn't scare

Angela, nothing will.

How's your glove coming?

- Almost finished.

- Mine's gonna be great.

Angela gonna

dookie in her pants.

- Check it out.

- What is it?

Picture of Mar.

I got it right before

she took a shower.

Man, it's out of focus.

You can still tell what it is.

Look at this one.

This is in focus.

What are you looking at?

No... What do you mean?

Let me see.

Um, nothing to see.

Let me see what

you have in your hand.

Come on.

Uncle John's

gonna hear about this.

Was Angela's picture in those?

Yes.

Aw, sh*t.

Nice tits.

- Go ahead and joke.

- I--

But I never thought

pornography was funny.

You're right, you're right.

I'm ashamed of myself.

- I'll handle it.

- They should be sent home.

No, there's no way.

Uncle John would

never go for that.

Charlie and Emilio have

been coming here for years.

Don't worry, I'll handle it.

Oh, by the way,

you, uh, might want to keep

your eyes and ears open

tonight, I think a

couple of the kids

are gonna try to scare you.

I overheard them

talking about it.

Don't worry. I'll handle it.

Now this will give Angela

one hell of a nightmare.

L Bu!

Angela's missing all the fun.

I can't believe

she forgot her pillow.

You know, I thought we were

supposed to be roughing it.

I mean, we're not even

supposed to need a pillow.

I wonder where the boys are.

Weren't they

supposed to scare us?

They're supposed

to scare Angela,

so act surprised.

Wouldn't it be funny

if they showed up

and she wasn't even here?

I hope they don't show,

'cause all they're gonna do

is get us in trouble,

and my folks

will strangle me if

I get sent home.

Oh, hell! Turn that song up.

Hey, you know you've got

pretty good taste, yeah?

For a white

suburban cheerleader.

Thanks.

Hey!

A**hole, you almost

broke my machete.

Help me find my glove.

Damn, where'd you put it?

If I knew that, I'd have it.

Listen,

I'm going to take a piss.

If you don't have that glove

by the time I get back,

- I'm leaving without you.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, where'd you find it?

Hey, f*ggot, where are you?

Anthony, come on.

I'm leaving without you.

Anthony?

Anthony?

What'd you do that for, Anthony?

Oh my God!

No. Please, no!

Sorry. Once I start a

task I always finish.

Hey, what's the

name of this group?

You know, they're really good.

I don't know, but I won't

turn them off, don't worry.

I'm so glad you went and

got some more jumbo hot dogs.

They're all beef.

Alright!

- Angela!

- Surprise!

It's not nice to scare people.

So you did know about the boys.

But I don't think they're

gonna be showing up.

I gotta hand it to you.

I didn't think you'd do

something like this.

Oh, you'd be surprised.

Where's Ally?

She went to the restroom.

She said something

about having cramps.

I'll bet.

Oh my God.

Oh, wow.

God.

It's here.

Ally, are you in there?

Oh, sh*t! F***. Stop it!

Ally.

God. Quick, hide.

Where, in the can?

I don't care. Move!

- Look, stand on top of it.

- God.

Hurry.

Uh, Angela,

I've got cramps, real bad.

You said you had

cramps last week.

Yeah, well, I've got 'em again.

Runs in the family.

Why is this door locked?

I didn't want some crazy

person to attack me.

Cute... but the blood

looks like ketchup.

Hey.

Hey.

Have either of you guys

seen Judd or Anthony?

- No!

- Damn it.

What, haven't you seen them yet?

No, they haven't been

seen since last night.

- You're kidding.

- Can you help me look for them?

Sure.

If you see them, be sure

to tell a counsellor.

And tell the two of them

I am extremely pissed off.

- Okay.

- I'll see you.

Hey, Ally,

you want to throw the ball?

No.

You don't have to

pretend to be nice to me.

I know you hate me as

much as I hate you.

I don't hate you.

Don't give me that

goody-goody sh*t.

It may work on Sean Whitmore,

but it's not going

to work on me.

Has he screwed you yet?

That's none of your business.

I didn't think he had.

Well, let me warn you,

he's a lousy lay.

You'd be perfect together.

Look, do me a favor

and leave me alone.

Don't forget to

run and tell Angela.

Maybe if I'm lucky the

dyke will send me home.

Molly?

You want to talk about it?

It's okay.

What happened?

Did you and Sean break up?

No.

- It's just that Ally...

- What about Ally?

She said she hated me.

And then she said all these

mean things about Sean.

And about you.

And then she said I'd

probably come and tell you.

So you can't say

anything to her.

You promise?

I promise.

Why don't you go swimming?

You'd feel better if

you got some fresh air.

No, I can't.

She'll probably be there.

- I doubt it.

- Where do you think she is?

Probably fornicating.

That was great.

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