Sleepaway Camp III: Teenage Wasteland

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1

Maria, turn down that radio!

Today's the day

I'm going to camp.

Mom, did you hear me?

I'm going to camp today.

Yeah, I heard you.

What do you want

me to do about it?

Aren't you gonna walk me

to the bus or anything?

At 6:
30 in the

f***ing morning?

Why don't you shut up

and turn down the noise?

- Hey, shut up.

- No, you shut up.

You both shut up.

I'm going to camp.

I might never come back.

- Good.

- Good.

F*** you.

Hello, I'm Toni Richards

with the WXIA news team.

We're here at

Camp New Horizons,

where an autumn retreat

called an experiment in sharing

is about to begin.

Let's meet the owners

of the camp,

Herman and Lily Miranda.

Herman, tell us about this

wonderful and unique experiment.

Well, Toni, we brung together

two specially selected groups

from all over America.

The first group is from the

higher-class establishments

and the other is from

lower-class homes.

Lilly, what are you

trying to accomplish?

In our own little way

we'd like to promote sharing,

love, harmony and peace,

and a better understanding

between the rich and the poor.

Thank you.

And thank you.

Let's meet the kids.

Hello, my name is

Cindy Hammersmith

from Venuity, Georgia.

Thank you, Cindy.

Greg Nakashima.

Westwood, California.

Okay, Greg.

Move it along.

Jan Hernandez,

Palm View, Arizona.

Peter Doyle.

Houston Heights, Texas.

Thank you, Peter.

Bobby Stark.

Western Springs, Illinois.

Home of the

Western Springs Wildcats!

Hi, Marsha Holland.

Defiance, Ohio.

Well, let's see who we have

in our second group of kids.

Excuse me.

Your name, please?

A-Rad.

San Francisco.

Do you have

a last name, A-Rad?

No.

Do I need one?

Right.

- And you?

- Snowboy.

From Chicago.

Anita Bertram.

Sautel Gap, Kentucky.

Riff.

Detroit.

Tony De Herrara,

East L.A.

Maria Nicostro.

Where are you from,

Maria?

Um, all over.

Right now, New York.

Why don't you take

your glasses off

so your parents can

see your pretty face.

Well, what interesting kids.

God, that Tony guy

is so cute.

He's Mexican.

Ironically,

Camp New Horizons

was formerly known

as Camp Rolling Hills,

where last year 19 people

were brutally slain

by alleged psychopath

Angela Baker.

Baker, also known as

the Angel of Death,

was allegedly responsible

for another string of

grisly murders seven years

ago at nearby Camp Arawak,

which has since closed.

Things have changed here.

We're now under

new ownership.

- Stop, please.

- New management.

New ownership.

Honey, what is the matter?

You told me you wouldn't say

a word about the murders.

It's okay, dear.

If violence sells

then you've gotta

give the people

what they want.

Okay.

Come along, everyone.

Come along.

Let's go to the dining hall

and experience

some more sharing.

This is a bunch of lunatics.

I'll see you after lunch, okay?

Oh, excuse me.

Excuse me.

You look a little

older than the rest.

Massive drugs.

Drugs, huh?

You wouldn't know where

I could score some coke?

Yeah, there's a machine

in the dining hall.

Very funny.

I just need a gram.

It's already been a

real sh*t of a day,

you know what I mean?

- I'll be right back.

- Thanks.

One of the many dangers

of being a drug addict

is never really knowing

if the stuff is pure.

- Thanks, guy. See you.

- Okay, see you later.

Here.

- It's a little much, isn't it?

- It's a gift.

You're my favorite

newscaster.

- Pretty good stuff?

- It'll really clean your pipes.

- Happy camping.

- Thanks.

Have a nice life.

God.

What's left of it.

It's just a firecracker.

You city broads should

be used to that.

Alright.

Testing, testing.

Welcome, everyone.

Welcome to the camp

of caring and sharing,

Camp New Horizons!

Thank you.

Would everyone

take a seat, please?

Can I sit here?

It's not my table.

Hi. Bobby Stark.

Okay if I sit with you?

Drop dead, fag.

Hi.

I'm Bobby Stark.

Is this seat taken?

That's not real, is it?

Cool, man.

No sweat, man.

Hi. Bobby Stark.

Mind if I join you?

Sure.

Cool.

Your name's

Maria Nicostro, right?

How'd you remember that?

I'm just great with names.

That's how I got to be senior

class president

of my high school.

- That's nice.

- Yeah.

So...

You're underprivileged, huh?

Alright, everyone.

Let's get started.

Could you turn that off?

Please?

Thank you.

Thank you.

Herman will be

handing out camp shirts

for all of you to wear.

That way you'll all

look the same

and you won't

feel different.

As soon as our

third counselor arrives,

we'll be splitting up

into three groups.

And each group will stay with

each other for three days.

During that time, each group

will be camping

out in the woods.

And we'll be getting to know

and understand each other

as best we can.

- Um, excuse me.

- Yes, Cindy?

What do you mean

by camping out?

Well, you know,

sleeping in tents,

cooking your own

food, hiking.

Well, like, what are we

supposed to do if

we have to go to the

bathroom or take a shower?

Oh, well there are outdoor

toilets by every campsite

and we'll be washing

up in the lake.

You're kidding.

- What are we gonna eat?

- Fish, mostly.

- Oh, sh*t.

- We'll be catching them.

Fish is good for you.

And besides,

it's better for our budget.

Now remember,

the first three days

you will be in your

smaller groups

and after that for the

remaining two days

we'll all be together.

Are there any questions?

Yeah. Do the guys

get to sleep with the girls?

- No.

. Well, why not?

Because, because...

They're afraid we'll f***.

Oh, let's all sing a

rousing camp song.

Does anyone know

"I'm a Happy Camper"?

- I do.

- Good.

That must be Barney.

- Barney?

- Barney Rubble?

No, Barney Whitmore.

Everybody, I'd like for you

to meet our third counselor

Officer Barney Whitmore!

HI!

Sorry I'm late.

I guess I'll have to catch up

on all the names later.

Are you a cop?

Yes.

Hey, you got a problem?

Suck my dick, spic.

Motherf***er.

Any more sh*t like this and

I'll have your butt

in jail so fast

you won't know what happened.

You got it?

A**hole.

Anybody else

carrying anything?

If you are give it to me now.

Same goes for you

goes for him.

Now sit down.

Behave yourself.

Wow.

This is better than T.V.

Hurry up, girls!

We have a lot to do!

There's no electricity.

Hey, gimme a shirt, will ya?

How do you get that thing off,

with a can opener?

Hey, you guys, come

in here and look at this.

Come here.

Look, isn't that weird?

It's that girl.

It's that girl who killed

everybody, Angela Baker.

Oh, yuck.

That is so gross.

I think they should have

told us about this.

You think anybody

would come here if they did?

Sh*t, you're dumber

than you look.

UP yours.

And how much did they

charge you to come here?

Little rich girl.

I don't know.

3,000 bucks, I think.

God.

And I bet the f***ing

government paid them

at least that much for us.

An experiment in

sharing, my ass.

We're here 'cause they

can't get anybody else.

And then we've got

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