Slightly Single in L.A. Page #3

to get a movie part.

I'll pee in my pants.

Um excuse me...

We're in line.

Um, actually you're at the mirror

which doesn't really constitute

the line.

Well just go... fine.

Ewwww! And ik on you!

I'll give you my number and then you know

maybe we can hang out sometime?

You gonna give me your number?

Yeah. Sure.

I'm down.

Totally cool.

We can just bypass the whole

little coffee thing.

Yeah right. Kind of awkward

yeah... I know.

Wash?

Hola!

Wash?

No I didn't pee on my hands.

Yo mama.

Hey did you see ZACH?

He's over there in the corner booth.

Ah no I didn't see him.

Did you see JP?

Yep. I saw him.

He looks really hot tonight.

Did you talk to him?

Did you just say he looks hot?

Sorry it was really tacky. Wasn't it?

So what's the deal with you and ZACH?

Have you guys ever hooked up before?

- ZACH?

- Yep.

Um, no not really.

Seriously?

Yeah seriously, why are you asking?

I just can't believe you've never

hooked up with him before.

No I mean we've hung out a lot but...

nope.

Well if you were telling me

you were just going to leave him

to the uneducated models in LA

then I am going to have

to jump his bones.

For both of us.

So are you an actress?

No no not really.

I though I was for a minute but.

Turns out it's not for me.

Way too much self-analyzing.

So what do you do now?

I design jewelry.

These are mine.

- They're very nice.

- Thanks.

Did you hear?

Hear what?

Zaps magazine just named you number one

in their Hottest Man Alive issue.

Yes! Can I...

Oh, come on are you kidding?

I mean come on Cece, it's Zaps magazine.

- Yeah.

- It's not exactly...

Wait you're leaving?

Yeah where's Becca?

She's with the producer.

Make sure she gets home OK.

Ok! Bye... mwa.

Hang on excuse me for one second.

Hey, Dale...

Hey Dale.

Hey... hey Dale.

Look it's ZACH!

Come on let's go inside for a minute.

It's crazy.

Yeah it's... it doesn't make

any sense to me sometimes.

Listen I didn't get a chance

to talk to you

I wanted to see if you wanted to go

to dinner next week?

Um I can't.

I didn't even give you a day.

Well I know I'm sorry I'm just...

I'm slammed right now.

Working this retarded dating

reality show.

OK.

Well I mean look if you're not too busy

then maybe you can make it by my show

at the label next week.

We can hang out after that?

Yeah... cuz -Yeah...

You didn't exactly make that show you

promised you'd come to the other night.

Oh I'm sorry.

- It's Ok.

- I totally forgot.

Hey you know what next week though

for sure.

Ok good, because you had me

a little bit worried there.

You know? It's not like you to just

drop off the grid like that.

You're my LA comfort food. You know?

I need to see you every so often.

LA comfort food... I like that.

I'm sorry it's just been one

of those months.

You know that photographer JP and I...

Right.

We were sort of dating on and off

then I found out that he got this

super model pregnant.

I didn't even want to come out tonight

and I ran into them.

And I just, I don't know I just can't

hit the Hollywood scene anymore.

It's just... not for me.

Wow I didn't even know you

were dating anyone.

I thought you were...

I thought you were single.

Well slightly single.

I mean it was never anything

fully committed.

Well breakups are always pretty tough.

I just don't get this town?

Everyone is always on the search

for the bigger, better deal.

It's just...

Yeah but you know it's all

about hype right?

I mean at the end of the day

that's all it is, is hype.

Well yeah but it's different

when you're famous.

You're part of the something better

that people are searching for.

I am the exact same person

that I've always been.

I'm not in this business for the hype.

Hey ZACH!

Come here.

Am I going to be on the cover of

a tabloid as your newest squeeze?

I think I can handle that.

I'm so sorry.

It's Ok I like a good head butt...

that was...

I was, meant to kiss your cheek and...

I am such and idiot.

He was clearly going for the lips.

OK well have a good night.

- Thanks bye.

- Bye.

Seven and I work at a production company

That cranks crappy reality shows.

Our job is to find and cast

The quote, unquote talent.

Such as it is.

So just be natural and forget that

the camera's even here.

Well I'm very comfortable in front

of a camera.

So why don't you tell me how you

and Burt met?

I'm sure that's a great story.

We met on the internet.

Now take these two.

There here for a spot on the upcoming

show "Geezer Town."

Some people will say or do just about

anything to be on TV.

A blue pill a day makes your lady

want to stay.

Oh yeah!

Hey Dale

Ohhh...

Seven

There's a call for you on line two.

Oh. Really?

Um... I will be back in just

a second.

This is Dale Squire.

It's Becca

Can you come pick me up please?

Yeah, what's wrong?

I'm on Doheny and Sunset, make a left.

Ok, I'll be there in two seconds.

You don't want to leave this in there.

That was Becca, she was crying.

I don't know I've got to go pick her up.

I'll be back in twenty minutes.

Can you cover for me?

With the phone sexing

cyber spacing eighty year old couple?

Yes. Please they're kind of scaring me.

Yeah, yeah, yeah go.

Thank you.

Three, two, one...

Oh, keys.

Thank you.

Hey.

What happened?

Becca what happened?

What's wrong? What happened?

You have got to be kidding me.

I just don't understand.

I mean you got a boot six months ago

how can someone get a boot on their car

twice in less than a year?

Every Monday I have to get up

and move my car before 9AM.

9AM...

And...

Sometimes I forget Ok?

On days like this it's really helpful

to remember that Becca donates blood...

rescues puppies and volunteers

at the local soup kitchen.

How much?

Nine hundred and eighty dollars.

Nine hundred and eighty dollars?

Yes.

It's Ok, you know what

we'll get the money.

Love is alive, you act

like a newborn child.

Love is war

Broken and running wild.

Love is a thief and stealing

your heart tonight.

And you give it to me,

giving me all of you.

Your all I see...

You're all I want it to be.

I love you.

Wow, he is good.

I know, right?

He looks so different.

I don't think he's as clean

as he used to be.

Clean?

He's got that whole grungy

working for him.

You can say that again.

Hey Jill where's Drew tonight?

Oh he had a movie screening

and then he's going out with the guys

Is he excited about the whole

engagement?

Yes he's so excited.

And I decided that I don't

want a long engagement

so we set a date, September.

Ohhhhhh

That's great.

Don't you think that's a little quick?

Ah no Hallie I don't.

I'm pushing 30 Ok.

You just tell me how it feels

when you get here.

I'm 25 Jill it's not like you're 108.

Count me out on this one.

My agent told me never to divulge

my real age.

So I can't partake

in the conversation either.

And you both smell like desperate whores

Thank you all for coming

thank you very much.

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