Small Soldiers Page #2

...has anything just fallen off

the back of the truck?

I don't like your tone.

Sorry.

It's too loud.

Okay, one whole set.

I'll lose the paperwork someplace.

- I had better not regret this.

- You won't. I swear.

And you've got to get them off the truck.

- I could get in trouble for this.

- No one will know.

They better not. These toys don't go

on sale officially until Monday.

I could loose my job.

I could loose my house.

Thanks, Joe. I owe you one.

You owe me twelve.

Good luck, kid.

Freeze!

I wanted to go to Toy World.

Life is full of disappointments.

Go look around.

His birthday's next week.

Mom said I had to take him shopping.

Great. What kind of stuff is he into?

Dinosaurs, mutants.

Anything that maims, kills or destroys.

I just got in...

You're Alan Abernathy.

You moved into the house behind mine.

I've heard about you.

- You have?

- Yeah.

How come I never see you after school?

I'm kind of stuck here.

What kind of toy store is this?

It's my dad. He thinks these toys are cool.

Too bad nobody else does.

The Commando Elite will rid the Earth

of the Gorgonites.

The Gorgonites are peaceful.

We mean no harm.

Gorgonite, you are a hideous freak.

You will be vaporized.

Civilian, declare your allegiance.

Cool.

I know what I want!

I want the soldier! They're walking

and fighting and they're so cool!

Where'd they go?

What about this one?

No, I want the other one.

Major Chip Hazard. He's the one.

- How much are these?

- A lot.

Mom and Dad won't buy you one of these.

Yes, they will.

They buy you those stupid Gwendy dolls.

All right, Timmy.

Save me one of the buff guys.

- And a monster, too.

- I don't think so, brat.

- I'll find it and hold it till tomorrow.

- How about the flame-thrower?

- When will I get that toy?

- Never, if you don't shut up.

Say "hi" once in a while.

- Meet death with honor, coward.

- There you are.

Congratulations. You're practically sold.

You, I'm not so sure about.

Troglokhan.

Punch-it.

Oh, man! Dad's ticket!

Okay, suitcase...

...briefcase, keys. Keys.

Where are my keys?

Right where you left them.

And where did I leave them?

What is wrong with me? What else?

Stuart, please, try to relax.

Remember why we moved here.

To get away from the stress.

To eliminate the stress.

To...

...exhale...

...the stress.

Mom! I know what I want for my birthday.

I want a Major Chip Hazard.

- Don't upset your father.

- Hi, Dad.

- Hi, sweetie.

- What's up?

- AI here was just telling me...

- Ed.

He was telling me the angle

of the Earth's tilt on its axis...

...relative to the orbit

of the transmission satellite...

...restricts the placement

for optimum reception.

Yeah.

In other words, this tree is in the way.

Right. Exactly.

No problema.

Knock that off!

Stuart, dish guy says the tree has to go.

You don't mind, do you?

- Yes, I mind!

- What?

I said, "yes, I mind!" What the hell

are you doing, Phil? This is my tree!

Happy to do the work. What are neighbors

for? Isn't the dish a beauty?

No. This tree is beautiful.

That dish is just one more piece

of techno-crap...

...to go along with the rest

of your stockpile of techno-crap!

You're already pulling so much juice,

you got us living in a cancer node.

There's never been

any conclusive data linking...

Give me that saw, Phil.

Stuart, come on.

Airplane now, vendetta later.

I'll check the zoning laws,

but I think they'll prove me right.

Hasn't he heard of the dishes

that go on top of your house?

Maybe they don't get as many channels.

He probably got a deal.

Dad!

Alan, you're supposed to be in the shop.

You forgot your ticket.

My ticket.

Thank you, son. Way to stay heads up.

Occasionally I do something right.

I'm out of here.

- Hurry but drive carefully.

- I'll call you when I get there.

Give me a smooch.

- Bye-bye. Bye, son.

- See you later, Dad.

- The door was locked when you left?

- Yes.

Did you empty the cash register?

Both quarters and all six pennies.

And I shut off the lights.

Just asking.

It's possible I make it through

the entire day without screwing up.

What the...

How the heck did you get in here?

What was it? Halt! Who goes there?

Greetings. I am Archer,

emissary of the Gorgonites.

Sure you are.

Beware. There will be no mercy.

Is that so?

Beware. There will be no mercy.

I'll be real careful. Thanks for the advice.

Greetings. I am Archer,

emissary of the Gorgonites.

What is your name?

I'm Alan. Now shut up.

I have to do my homework.

Greetings, Alan-now-shut-up.

What did you say?

You just said my name, didn't you?

Didn't you?

Commandos! Ten-hut!

Commando Elite, fall in!

Sound off, soldiers!

Butch Meathook, sniper.

Lethal from any distance, sir!

Good to have you aboard.

Nick Nitro. Demolition is my mission.

I served with your father.

He was a good man.

Brick Bazooka, artillery.

Ready to go full bore, sir!

Save it for the enemy.

Link Static, communications.

Awaiting orders, sir!

Double up on your rations, Sparky.

Kip Killagin, covert insurgent.

Sharp as a razor, sir!

Let me see that weapon.

Standard issue is insufficient.

All right, ladies, now listen good.

Our mission:

Destroy the Gorgonite enemy. Defeat him!

Yes, sir!

There will be no mercy.

Search the area and secure new arms.

Commandos, fall out!

Gorgon.

What the heck are you?

You're not like any toy I've ever seen.

Come on, speak up.

Greetings, Alan-now-shut-up.

I am Archer, emissary of the Gorgonites.

I think you're smarter

than you're letting on.

I bet you're smart enough to get my name

right. It's Alan. Just Alan. Got it?

Greetings, Alan.

I knew it. Walk to the end of the table.

Don't play dumb with me.

You know what I'm saying.

Alan, friend of Archer.

Defender of all Gorgonites.

Keeper of Encarta.

Keeper of Encarta?

You were using my computer?

If I find a virus in there,

you're headed for the microwave.

Beware. There will be no mercy.

Are you threatening me?

The Gorgonites must be free.

There will be no mercy.

Soldiers, no poor sap ever won a war

by dying for his country.

He won it by being all that he can be.

Damn the torpedoes or give me death!

Eternal vigilance is the price of duty.

And to the victors go the spoils.

So, remember...

...you are the best of the best

of the few and the proud!

So, ask not what your country

can do for you...

...only regret that you have

but one life to live.

The war against the Gorgonites

will be won!

Commando Elite, let the first shot be fired!

Search out the Gorgonites

and frag them all!

Attack!

Get him! Jump on him!

Plastic at twelve o'clock!

Archer, where are you, anyway?

I am in so much trouble.

There will be no mercy.

This is what you meant?

How could toys do this?

Alas, poor Troglokhan.

I'm sorry, Archer.

That's all the pieces I could find.

The Commando Elite

have destroyed Troglokhan.

What about the other Gorgonites?

And where are the Commandos?

Hi. We're closed. See the sign?

I'll be quick. I just came for Major Chip

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