Small Time Page #3

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about this?

No, I wanted

to talk to you first.

So?

What do you think?

Uh, I think I'm gonna

make me a sandwich.

I'm serious, dad.

I guess I just always assumed

that you would go to college

bigger and better

than what I did.

Well, I thought

you did great, dad.

I'd be proud if I grew up

to be like you.

I was thinking maybe

I could move in with you.

We could make up

for a lot of lost time.

Well, look...

Even if I do say yes,

your mom's not gonna

go along with this.

I mean she hates,

with the white hot

intensity of a thousand suns,

hates what I do for a living.

I don't care.

This is what I want

to do, okay?

And I'm gonna tell her tonight

if you say yes.

Come on, dad.

One little yes.

That's all it takes.

Yeah?

If you think

that I'm going to let our son

throw away his life

to become a peddler,

well, it's not

gonna happen, Al.

- I...

- Barb.

Chick, here.

You talk to him.

I don't wanna talk to Chick.

Oh, please don't put me

in the middle.

Al, if the kid wants a job,

he can come

and work for me.

That's not the point.

Blow it out your ass, Chick.

What?

He wants me

to blow it out my ass.

Barb.

It's not a good idea.

Been here for 16 years, Al.

You might wanna unpack

some of this stuff.

What are you talking about?

you buy a used car

from Diamond Motors.

Very nice.

Hey, how would you

like a fore ply mop?

I'm good.

Still angry?

Just tired.

Hm-hmm.

I may have been

a little upset last night.

Yeah.

Look, so you know, I didn't say

yea or boo to him.

I said it's his life and

whatever he wanted

to do, it's fine.

He just had

to have your support.

Come on.

Buy an old nag

some breakfast.

Sure.

Where's the old nag?

I always said it.

you're the best salesman

in town, Klein.

I never heard you say that.

Thanks.

The soup today

is the spiced pumpkin.

Thank you.

How'd you find this place?

The food's good, Al.

You'll like it.

I guess my world's

pretty small, isn't it?

Well, there is life

beyond the deli,

if you ever

care to venture out.

Ready to order?

Yes, I'll have the caf latte

and an almond croissant.

And for you, sir?

These are eggs?

Yes, they're baked in anisette

with a very light

tomato puree on top.

Ah.

Okay, I'll have the eggs.

Uh, but instead of baking them,

just scramble them up,

nothing on top, rye toast,

a cup of coffee.

Sure.

I like this place.

I'm glad.

What are we gonna do

about our son, Al?

Meaning what?

Don't get defensive.

I didn't come here

to fight with you.

I'm not defensive.

I'm listening.

I just feel it's important,

at this point,

I mean,

he's still a teenager.

It's important to steer him

clear of disaster if possible.

And by disaster, you mean

working with his father?

No, look, I think it'd be great

if he came to work with you

in the summer or during

Christmas vacation, but...

I want him

to go to college.

It's important.

I mean, don't you

want that too?

I want you to know...

it means a lot to me

that we can sit down

and talk like this

without raised horses.

It means that we do have

Freddy's best interest at heart,

but we also both know that

I still have feelings for you,

and I get the sense that

you're trying to take

advantage of that.

I don't like it.

Oh, Jesus, Al.

What is not in our

son's best interest

is for him to throw away his

education to hustle used cars.

Did you rehearse

that one with Chick?

It's got his ring to it.

If I were you, I would

leave Chick out of this.

Gladly. Look, the kid

doesn't want to go to college.

What are we supposed to do?

Force him?

No, but I'm certainly not

going to make it easy for him

by giving him free room

and board and a dead end job.

I see these kids

who go to college.

They smoke dope,

they drink beer,

they screw each other

for four years

on their parents' dime.

You want to talk about

having it easy?

That is not Freddy.

I know. He wants to work.

That's good.

I'm sure god is just having

one big old belly laugh

right now.

I did everything that I could

to make sure that

he had stability

in his life.

And what does he do?

Decides to become

a car salesman.

That's...

That's just perfect.

Look Barb, 18-year-olds

decide a lot of things.

It's up for review

every other day.

If he ends up like you, Al,

I will hang myself.

I really will.

No offense.

No.

But people care about

what they put

into their bodies, Pete.

It's not just me.

I mean, I think you'd get

a whole lot more customers

if you had

a wider variety of things,

like legumes, root vegetables,

stuff like that.

Grain.

Keep that in mind, Pete.

Legumes and root vegetables.

No, I'm serious.

I think if you provided like

a healthy option for people,

it would be really good

for your business.

Where you been?

Ugh, yeah.

Freddy doesn't want

to go to college.

Eh, who needs college?

You think?

Because he wants

to work here.

It could be good

for him, right?

Real life experience,

stuff like that?

Sure.

What's the ex think?

Wow.

What do you think?

Hey, as long as

he earns, I...

Absolutely, no hand-outs.

Yeah.

I'm all for it.

I love the kid.

You know that.

Okay.

You know

what the best part is?

He's gonna live with me.

After all these years.

It's great, right?

That's super.

It's super, Al.

It is super.

Thank you.

I cannot tell you

how disappointed I am.

I cannot tell you.

Well, then don't.

Watch your mouth, son.

I'm not your son.

Listen to me, Freddy.

You don't get these

years back,

being 18, going to college,

having no responsibilities.

It's a great time

in your life.

Yeah, I can't wait.

Yeah.

Dip sh*t fraternity guys,

football games... Rah-rah!

I can't wait, Mom,

it's gonna be fun.

Just out of curiosity, Fred,

what's it gonna be like

working at a used car lot?

I'm gonna learn how to sell.

From your dad?

That's right.

Hm.

Alberta, this meat's

a little rare.

Ah, sorry, Mr. Barnett.

Just put it back on the grill

for just a minute.

Yes, sir.

Take a look around, Fred.

This house, the things in it,

a view of the ocean.

Pretty nice, isn't it?

Chic.

What? He's old enough

to handle some straight talk.

If he isn't,

he needs to learn.

How 'bout your dad?

Does he have

any of these things?

If I'm not mistaken,

he's still living in a shoebox

out there in the valley,

right?

Pretty pathetic for a man

his age, don't you think?

He did not mean that.

I promise you,

he did not mean that.

You know,

I'll never understand

why you traded dad

for this jerk.

I don't care how many

nice things he buys you.

What is that?

It's a Chevy Impala

with a 350 small block.

Wrong.

Is that a smaller engine?

No, that's a 350.

It's definitely an Impala.

Well, then

why are you wrong?

I-I don't know.

Come on, buddy boy.

What is that?

Uh, it's a-a car?

I don't, I don't know

what you want me to say.

Well, yeah, it's a car,

but what else is it?

What else?

That's a story.

- It's got four doors.

- It's great for car pools.

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