Small Time Page #4

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Two thousand pounds

of metal surrounding you.

Very safe

for the little ones.

Yep.

It's made in America.

Buy this car.

Be a patriot.

Made in Japan?

More bang for your buck.

Okay, all right, I get it.

So tell us.

What is it?

It's a place to take your girl

if you live with your parents.

Put a little tuck and roll

on your ass.

We're not selling

valves and pistons.

We're selling a better life.

Buy this car, you get laid.

You get respect.

At a price you can afford.

But what if

I can't afford it?

Sir, I'm glad

you asked me that.

With no money down,

you can drive this car

off the lot today.

You don't pay a penny

'til January.

Wow, I'll take it.

You getting this, kid?

Yeah, I think so.

Al.

I like it.

Huh? What? Like what?

What are we liking here?

What's going on?

That one's not

for you there, amigo.

You can't afford that one.

Keep going.

- Going?

- Keep going.

Going where?

Where's he going?

What's happening?

Settle.

There you go.

There you are.

Park Avenue deal.

That's the car for you.

Where's Martini going?

You have to be able

to size up a customer

in the first ten seconds.

- How do you do that?

- From the outside in.

What's he wearing?

He's got brown pants.

Hm-hmm.

With stains on them.

He's a slob.

What else?

Uh, t-shirt, tennis shoes.

Yeah, it's probably

got holes in 'em.

What is that in your ear?

Not a big spender, is he?

Al, when was the last time

he took a shower?

A shower?

What... Wait, what?

Tuesday.

How would you know that?

'Cause Tuesday's

the first of the month.

That's when government

checks come out.

This guy clearly

doesn't have a job.

He's gaming the system.

Showered, got dressed,

took the check to the bank,

cashed it, went down

to the two-four poker tables

in Gardenia

where he has been ever since.

Where he made a few bucks.

He sold his last one

to pay off his gambling debts.

This yutz couldn't get

credit from his mother.

Strictly a cash deal.

What are you doing?

What?

I can't hear you.

What is happening right now?

- You're buying a car.

- I'm buying a car?

- You're buying this car.

- What?

Yeah, this one's got the uh

fuel-injected 3.8.

I'm just looking, pal.

Thank you.

I'm sorry.

What'd you say?

I said I'm just looking.

Well, you look all you want.

Uh, new headers,

new gauges, new air shocks.

This baby's clean.

Does she have a warranty?

I'm sorry.

What?

Warranty?

Does this vehicle

have a warranty?

Oh, well, hey,

you could buy one.

But it's a Buick Park Avenue.

A war horse.

Comfortable, huh?

How much?

I'm sorry, say again?

How much?

What's the price

of this vehicle?

Oh, uh, you know, I uh,

I don't even know

what he's got it marked at.

Al!

How much

for the Park Avenue?

Uh, $4,200.

$2,200.

So, just to be clear, um,

$2,200 gets me this car?

I don't know.

Make me an offer.

We'll see.

$2,200?

Great!

Let's go write it up.

You know what,

do you mind if we just

bypass all that

wrist business.

I was just kind of hoping

I could just give you the cash

and you give me the pinks

and I could just

take off, you know?

I'm just

kind of in a rush, so...

Oh.

Well, usually I clean

the cars up for the customers.

Not even necessary.

No?

No.

You got a deal.

Let's make a deal.

Our cost on that car

was $900 bucks.

Is that even legal?

What do you mean legal?

It's what we do.

He got himself a good car

and we made a profit.

Everybody's happy.

What's you're reading?

A car magazine.

I'm just trying to get

a feel for everything.

What kind of feel?

Well, I'm just worried,

you know, like,

what if a customer asks me

a question about the car

I can't answer?

So you ask Barlow.

I hope I can do this.

Trust me, you can.

It's not brain surgery.

Well, you just

small talk with the customer.

You get him to like you.

Ask about their kids,

their favorite sports team.

You know, I watch you

and Martini out there.

The stuff you come up with,

it's like you're speaking

a foreign language.

We've been doing

it a long time.

I mean you guys

are like geniuses.

Trust me, we're not.

We're hungry.

We close deals

or we don't eat.

You coming to bed?

Oh, yeah.

- Dad?

- Hm-hmm?

Where'd you get

all these paintings?

A friend of mine

helped me pick them out.

Hm, friend.

What's her name?

Linda.

When am I gonna meet

your friend, Linda?

Hm.

Good night.

Hey, dad?

Why did you and mom

get divorced?

Anytime I ask her,

she always pretends

she doesn't hear me.

Maybe you should

stop asking her.

Come on, dad.

I'm 18 years old.

I can handle it.

You know, I was the only kid

in my-my school

that didn't know

why their parents split up?

Sit down.

Um...

Okay.

After your mom

and I got married,

Martini and I bought

Diamond Motors.

The first few years

were pretty tough.

You know, I mean

there would be days,

sometimes weeks where we

wouldn't even sell a single car.

And that made

your mom very nervous,

not knowing when

the next dollar was coming in

or even if there was

a next dollar.

It's the life

of a salesman, you know?

It's not for everybody.

Anyway, you were born,

happiest day of my life,

and you know,

things were just really bad.

So your mom

had to go out

and get a part-time job.

Whoa, mom worked?

Wha-

Come on.

Just tell me.

So she got hired

as a personal assistant

to a man named Chick Barnett.

And it didn't take him long

to fall in love with her.

She was a very

beautiful woman.

She still is a very

beautiful woman.

What, she had an affair?

And chose Chick?

No.

Listen to me.

She chose you.

Your mom just...

She needed security.

She needed stability

and that was just something that

Chick was able

to provide for her

at a time when I couldn't.

So she was able

to stay home with you.

She was able

to take care of you,

send you to the best schools.

How could you defend her

after what she did to you?

Look, I'm not defending her,

but she raised you right

and so I cut her some slack.

I mean, come on, look at you.

You're a masterpiece.

Dad, it's not funny.

It's messed up.

I'm just saying,

it's not all her fault.

How is it not her fault?

She had an affair, dad.

Sometimes

life is complicated, Freddy,

and they're not good guys

and bad guys.

Just is what it is.

You mean,

sometimes it's shitty.

Sometimes

it's really shitty.

Sometimes it's miraculous.

I mean, look at us.

We're living together,

working together.

Who knew?

You okay?

Uh-huh.

I love you.

Me too.

Good night.

Night.

Hello, folks.

How are we doing today?

Hi.

Carlos.

Hi, Maria.

Uh, Barlow, aqui.

Barlow.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Carlos, Maria.

Barlow.

Cool hat.

Do you have any children?

Whom you talking about?

Kids.

Well, I'm Freddy.

Uh, I'm around

if you need me.

Just holler at me.

Cool.

Hey, bro,

are you buying a car?

It's a great shirt.

Hawaii, right?

I got one, too.

I got it at the mall.

You get it at the mall?

You know, I think this might

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