Small Time Page #6

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I'm sorry to hear that.

Maybe I should talk

to someone about it, you know?

Like a psychologist or...

I think you should talk

about it with your husband?

Yeah.

Well Chick's in London

for the week, so...

Yeah, he didn't

take you with him?

What is that

supposed to mean?

Uh, it's a question.

No, you're trying to dig.

You're just like

a little ferret

trying to dig through the dirt

to come up with something.

Well you can just stop, Al.

Everything's great

between Chick and me.

I'm happy to hear that.

Okay, so I'll tell

Freddy you called.

Well...

How is he?

How is Freddy?

He's-he's doing great.

Does he miss me?

I'm sure he does, yeah.

Well he doesn't call.

I'll have him call you

first thing

in the morning, okay?

Thank you, Al,

for being so patient.

You're a good man.

I thought I was a ferret?

And there really is so much

about you that I like

and admire and...

'm gonna shut up.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Good night.

Good night, Barb.

So what do you think?

I'd want more than 90 days

warranty on a rebuilt engine.

Rebuilt means it's like new.

Ninety's the best I can do.

Not good enough.

With all due respect, sir,

I don't think

you're ready to buy a car.

And that's okay.

You should probably go home

and think about it

a little bit more.

What did you say?

Your game's as good as

your money, pal.

You've practically done

a cavity search on it,

and if you need

someone to convince

you that this is

still a good deal,

in which case you're

wasting both of our time.

I'll tell you what.

If I buy this car

and it breaks down on me

two days

after the warranty expires,

I'll come back

and I'll kick your ass.

Okay.

Then if it doesn't

and you drive it for another

can I come to your place

and kick your ass?

Write it up.

I think it's gonna need

a new transmission, Mr. Freddy.

Look, I don't care

about any of that.

If the car doesn't start,

I can't sell it.

It's real simple, Barlow.

I'm sorry, Mr. Freddy.

It won't happen again.

Yeah, it better not.

What was that about?

The Pinto stalls every time

you try to take it

out for a test drive.

It's embarrassing.

Barlow can't fix sh*t.

Barlow's been

with me for 16 years.

He can fix anything.

Respect that.

Cool.

Barlow, fan belt

on the Continental,

please,

when you get a chance?

Thank you.

I want to talk to you about.

Yeah?

Think we should

stay open nights.

We'd sell at least

three more cars a week.

Three? Really?

We do some

slasher sales, you know,

like weekend clearance sales.

I know what a slasher sale is.

We'll move inventory.

You know, it will be

a volume business.

Get more cars

and more on the lot.

We'll borrow money

from the bank.

- I already looked into it.

- Listen to you.

- We're not borrowing money.

- Why not?

Because then you

gotta pay it back.

Well, money's cheap, dad.

Rates are low, you know?

We can also

buy cars from Canada.

With the conversion rate,

we save at least

15 percent of our cost.

Where'd you learn that?

Chick used to talk to me

about that kind of stuff.

Look, all I'm saying is.

We can't grow if we

don't spend money, right?

- We're not looking to grow.

- Well, why not?

Because it took us years

to establish what we got,

it works,

I don't want to get greedy.

Oh, dad,

don't play it so safe.

Let's make some dollars.

Just think about it, all right?

I got this guy.

I love this car.

So he gets out and stands there

with this stupid

little baseball cap

and just stares at the car

for like a full minute,

so I finally say,

"Hey Gomer,

are you a Dodger's fan?

You buy this car right now,

I'll throw in two tickets

behind the first base dugout,

game of your choice. "

Rudy, I swear to god,

it was like I was

offering him p*ssy.

Good night.

Night.

Bottom line, people are sh*t.

Yeah, they'll

fall for anything.

We used to have this scam

in Youngstown, Ohio.

We buy a painting,

it could be anything,

like a boat or a landscape.

We would cut it out of

the frame, roll it up,

put it in the trunk of the car

and then we'd drive

to some out of the way

bar or restaurant

and we'd try to get the owner

to come out

and take a look at it.

We had the whole act.

We'd talk to him

real hush-hush.

We'd look

over our shoulder like

we're worried

about the police.

It really made 'em think

the painting was hot.

Look stolen.

And we had to get rid of it.

Yeah, for like

$800, $900 bucks.

How much did the painting

actually cost?

Oh, $50 tops.

- Serious?

- Yeah.

This guy thought

he was buying, like,

a stolen Picasso

for next to nothing?

- That's right.

- People are sh*t.

Stop saying that.

Hm?

Stop staying

that people are sh*t.

You don't need

to talk that way.

I didn't mean anything by it.

It just hit me the wrong way.

Freddy!

Tell the boys

about that little honey

you were hitting

on the other night.

Oh yeah? Yeah.

You mean at Casa Rio?

Oh yeah, the kid's

got some moves.

Yeah, she was a babe.

No, she was beyond babe.

She was like.

You all right?

You having a stroke?

Should I call 9-1-1?

I'm just saying.

Yeah that, that sounds good.

Let's make it 6 o'clock

at the latest.

All right, good deal Mikey.

Thanks so much. Bye.

Mr. Klein,

I was just wondering...

You can't go home

early today, Gail.

No.

No, that's not

what I was gonna ask.

Look, I know I've just worked

here for a couple of months

and I'm still sort of

learning the system.

I didn't know

we had a system.

Well, I don't know if you know

that I live with my mother?

You've told me

that many times.

- She's on disability.

- I know.

It's less than

$800 a month...

No, give me a minute.

I'm lying.

It might be a wee

bit more than $800,

but it's definitely

no more than $900 a month.

Is there a question

here, Gail?

Yeah, yes. Yes, there is.

Sorry.

Uh, I just want you to know

that I'm actually going to get

really, really

good at this job.

So, cream and sugar,

just like you like it.

I drink it black.

So, I was just thinking,

what better way

to motivate someone

than by paying them

more than the minimum wage?

Are you asking for a raise?

I suppose

if you had to label it.

- Did you process the Toyota?

- I was just about to do it.

Now would be a good time.

Did you give me the paperwork

for the Toyota?

Yeah.

- The fish keep biting.

- The Chevelle?

- Oh yeah.

- Nicely done.

Sweetheart, run that

woman's credit app for me?

Sweetheart?

I think you'll find

my name is Gail.

She's a feminist?

Come on, Martini

calls you sweetheart.

Well you're not Martini.

Just run the app, would you?

You don't need to be

so rude about it.

The customer is waiting,

"Gail. "

Freddy!

She's a joke, dad.

She can't get

a single thing right.

We don't talk to each other

like that in here.

- What?

- Mr. Klein, it's fine, really.

No it's not.

Let's go outside.

Jesus.

Come on, dad.

I was just trying

to do my job.

You think you're

better than other people

because you sold

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