Small Town Saturday Night Page #4

- I'm sick of this sh*t.

All right, 'Lester,

you're ready to roll.

It's never too late

for you to come back to me

It's never too late to be

who you're meant to be

Go ahead and find your life

Just think of me from time to time...

Hi. You've reached

Rhett and Samantha.

Please leave a message.

Hey, Sam.

It's-- it's me.

Look, I hate to even ask this,

but do you think

you could come down here

and get Megan?

I'm sorry.

I know it's the same old, same old,

but I... I've got a few things

I need to deal with

and I don't wanna keep

asking Rhonda to watch her.

Look, I promise I'll make it up to you.

Okay, call me.

It's never too late for you

to come back to me...

Hello. Gas-N-Go.

Oh, no, Doris, he's not here right now.

No, I think he went to the bank.

Yeah. Yeah, I'll tell him.

Damn it.

Hey, look, will you tell Charlie

that Doris called?

It's important.

Or just sit there and watch TV.

Oh, hey hey.

Why don't you run out

and get us something to eat?

I'm starving.

Hey hey!

Where's my money, buddy-boy?

Hey, I'm talking to you.

Get ov-- don't you go walking away

when I'm talking to you.

Hey-- what the f***?

You're crazy, you a**hole!

Get the f*** outta here.

All right, here you go, Rhett.

Thank you, sweetheart.

- See you tonight, ladies.

- Bye.

Hey, Rhett.

ls Wade still single?

- Wade's always single.

- Bye.

- See you guys.

- Later.

It's in your hair.

You stupid f***.

- All right then.

- Sorry about that.

You know, this is... it's nice.

Yeah well, Donny, I'll tell you,

the best I can do on this rifle is $250.

Come on, Vic.

- That thing's worth--

- Okay okay okay.

$250 for the rifle

and I'll throw in

that piece-of-sh*t pistol.

Take it or leave it.

Throw in that rod and reel too

and we can do it.

Come on, the thing's

older than you are, Vic.

It's five bucks at the most.

Come on.

To find a new melody

Headstrong too long

I've tried to fight without a reason

I've been wrong,

so here's your song

To let you know

I've been too headstrong.

- The tip was actually chewed?

- Uh-huh.

- A girl after your heart, huh?

- Yep.

She have any hair on her chest?

Thanks, Suzie. Hey.

- Hey, Donny.

- Hi.

- Suzie.

- Hey, Suze.

Come on, you f***in' son of a b*tch.

Come on, you dirty f***in' whore.

Come on!

F***in' piece of sh*t.

Donny, pop the hood.

- Go on.

- What's wrong with it?

- Check the carburetor.

- No no, it ain't flooded, Wade.

It's the f***in' battery cables

and sh*t.

There's a wrench down there

right by the battery.

This thing's a piece of sh*t.

- Hit it.

- Hit it?

- Yeah, hit it.

- Just tighten the f***in' lead.

Just a second.

Okay. Okay, try it.

F***, that's bullshit.

- It's tight.

- Try it.

Tommy, I-- I've heard

all this before and I--

No, I know, I know.

I know I haven't been

the greatest father,

but I'm trying, Sam.

I'm really trying.

And the thought of not having

you guys around is killing me.

She's my world.

And if you take her away from me,

you're leaving me with nothing.

Come on, Les!

What the hell is he wearing?

All right, let's roll out, fellas.

Brakes work.

What-- finally!

Where the hell have you been?

It's cold.

What the hell is Doris doing here?

I don't know.

They kicked me out

in the middle of my cartoons.

Hey, we're heading out to Pyramid Rock.

When you getting off?

Rhett, get in here.

Rhett, have a seat.

Hey, Doris.

- Any fries, Travis?

- No.

What's going on?

The bookkeeper has brought it

to Doris's and my attention

that there seems to be

a little bit of a discrepancy

in the daily deposits--

you know, just a little bit here,

a little bit there.

But as of lately, those differences

have totaled into quite a hefty sum.

Someone hasn't been

dipping into the till

to, say, prepare for a big move

to Nashville or something like that?

Doris,

I got no idea where that money

might be going,

but I swear I got nothing to do

with any discrepancies, all right?

You got a lot of nerve.

- Are we going?

- No, we're jerking off.

- Sh*t.

- What's going on?

Hey, am I gonna get fired?

Travis.

Hey, what's going on?

I gotta get the f*** outta here.

Why don't you come with us, then?

What are they gonna do, fire you?

Come with us.

- Hey, ladies!

- Hi.

- Where are y'all headed?

- Nowhere in particular.

We're heading up to Pyramid Rock.

- You wanna join us?

- We got lots of brewskis.

Dude, who the f*** says brewskis?

I saw it in a movie.

We don't have our bathing suits.

- Perfect.

- You coming, Rhett?

- No, I can't.

- Come on, Rhett, for old time's sake.

No, I got some sh*t

I gotta take care of.

I'll catch up with you guys later,

all right?

All right then.

You know where to find us.

- Yep.

- Keep it real, bro.

So you guys didn't see or hear anything?

I heard the guys leaving in Les's Jeep.

Do you think maybe

they took him with them?

Rough road, huh?

How's it going over there, chief?

Good.

- I'll get to the bottom of this.

- Okay.

What the hell am I still doing here, T?

I've been wondering that

for some time now.

You gotta be shittin' me.

Rhett, phone.

Hello. Hey--

Well, no-- just tell me now.

Fine, I'm coming over then.

- Gentlemen.

- Tommy.

Deputy.

What the f*** did you say to her?

- Where the hell are you going?

- I quit!

You mind taking a ride with me?

Something wrong?

Let's just talk in the truck.

Come on.

All right.

- When'd you get this rig?

- About a month ago.

Paul got a new cruiser.

I got this one.

I ain't rode in a new truck in a while.

You seen Donny today?

I run into him at the bank earlier.

He wasn't too happy to see me.

- He wasn't, huh?

- No.

I think he ran off

with Chance this afternoon.

You know where

he might have gone to?

How the hell would I know that?

I'm not his keeper.

Tsk, he doesn't care what he does

to them, does he?

I don't know what's in his fool head.

I ain't such a bad guy, am I?

After I got hired on and I caught Donny

doing something stupid,

I cut him all the slack I could.

- Why?

- Hell, I don't know.

- I--

- But you know how he is.

He's an a**hole.

Tommy, I really don't wanna be

in the middle of all this.

What do you call it if you ain't

already in the middle of it?

Can I go back now?

New Country 93.

What the f*** is that?

What are you doing?

Hail hail, the gang's all here...

- Drink 'em.

- With their ribs full of reefer

- And their bellies full of beer...

- Knock her off.

16 years of living the dream

We're the pride of all our families

Hail hail, the gang's all here

With their eyes wide open

and with minds so clear

We're ready it seems

to see what it means

To be the rulers of our destiny

Well, all right.

Grandpa thinks I should've

married your mama.

Hell, I done tried that once

with this b*tch named Connie.

lt didn't work.

I don't know.

Sometimes I wish everybody'd just mind

their own goddamn business.

You know what I mean, chief?

I wish I was rich.

I'd buy you lots of sh*t,

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