Smart Money Page #5

- Yeah.

Now, be yourself.

I suppose you're very happy this morning,

Mr. Venizelos.

Yeah, why?

I read in the papers about you

winning a lot of money from that gambler.

Um, Sleepy Sam,

I think that was his name.

Yeah. Oh, that was nothing.

I'm just starting.

Before long,

you'll be reading a whole lot about me.

My, it must be wonderful

to win a lot of money like that.

Ooh. Money don't mean anything to me.

Say, you're a pretty smart girl.

Maybe you can give me a little advice.

Now, if you were a man...

...and a certain girl

had made a sucker out of you...

Heh.

...once upon a time,

how would you get even with her?

- Well...

- I don't mean hurt her or anything like that.

But just make her change her mind

about me being a sucker.

Oh, why, you're only kidding,

Mr. Venizelos.

How could anybody play you

for a sucker?

No, no, no, I'm not kidding.

I'm serious, sister.

I'd just like to get a little satisfaction

out of that young lady.

Now, how would you go about it?

- Well, if I were a man...

- Yeah?

The first thing I would do

would be send her some flowers.

- Mm-hm.

- Then I'd follow it up with a bracelet.

Then if she's that kind of a

girl, well, the rest is easy.

Bracelet?

So you mean one of those things

they wear around their wrists?

Yes, with diamonds in it.

Diamonds?

Mm-hm.

You're not this girl's manager, are you?

Hmm.

Oh, here you are, Marie.

Take care of Blondie.

Just let me know

anything I can do for you, sir.

All right.

I want you to open that door

to that next room.

And put these

first two suitcases in there.

Yes, sir.

- Here, George.

- Thank you, sir.

But, boss, I can't spend no half a bill.

You'll get the other half

at the other end of the line...

...if you're a good boy.

Yes, sir. I won't be good, I'll be perfect.

Come here, give me luck.

Yes, sir. You sure have luck now.

Oh, George, what room is Mr. Short in?

- Mr. Short...

- Yeah, Hickory Short.

Oh, he's in 3-A, sir.

- All right, scram.

- Yes, sir.

Marie, open the suitcase

and hang up my checkered suit.

Well, boy, this is the payoff.

I wish the crowd back in the old

barbershop could see us now.

Louisville bound with a bank roll

big enough to choke a cow.

I guess after tonight,

I'll send the boys back home a few thou.

You've already paid them double.

What of it? I got plenty.

Besides, ain't they still my pals? Heh-heh.

Neck to neck, Nick.

Make every post a winning one.

If I lose,

I'll be back in the old barbershop...

...matching pennies with Snake Eyes.

- Heh-heh.

But how can I lose? Heh-heh.

- Good evening, boys.

- Good evening, boss.

Here, try these.

A fellow in Havana

makes them up for me.

- Thank you.

- Thank you.

Hello, Nick.

- Oh, hello, Tom.

Say, can you let me

have another key for a friend of mine?

Who for? The district attorney?

No, chief of police.

Oh, in that case, you can have mine.

Great. Thanks.

Good evening. How are you?

Good evening.

Good evening.

May I have your hat and coat?

I'll give it to you this time.

- How are they treating you?

- Just fine.

- Say, you're new here, aren't you?

- Yes.

- Oh, you'll like it. Heh-heh.

- Thank you.

- You know who I am?

- Yes, sir.

Oh, uh...

- Straighten that painting.

- Yes, sir.

Mm. Not bad.

Oh, Nick. Nick, look what I've won.

My luck finally changed.

- I just can't seem to lose.

- No?

- How much did you win?

- A hundred and 10 dollars.

Here, let me see.

Twenty, 40, 60, 80, 90, a hundred.

Great. Just what you owe me.

- What I owe you?

- Yeah.

You never did have a good memory.

Here.

Why, Nick. What do you mean?

Place your bets, ladies and gentlemen.

How are you doing now, baby?

Great. I've been playing the red.

Here's a hundred,

put that on the red too.

Oh, Nick.

- You darling.

- Ha-ha-ha.

All down?

All down.

Attagirl. Heh-heh.

What are we gonna do about it?

Every time we raid Nick,

he proves he doesn't own the place.

He's got a phony front for every one of his

joints. And you can't pin anything on him.

That isn't a suggestion. That's an alibi.

We close him one night

and he opens up the next in another spot.

Another alibi.

Now, I demand a showdown.

With election coming up...

...I'm not going to let a tinhorn gambler

put me in the middle.

We found Sleepy Sam, chief.

He got in from Frisco last week.

- Where is he?

- In there.

Boys, I'd like to see him alone.

- Sam?

- How are you, DA?

Just step into my office.

- Anything new on that case?

- Something hot.

- I'll talk to you later.

- All right.

Glad to see you, Sam.

How have you been?

What's up, Black?

I just want to get some

gambling information from you, Sam.

Yeah?

Well, three of a kind still beat two pair.

Don't be a comedian.

I don't know anything about it.

I've been legit for months.

- What made you quit?

- I got tired of it. What's it to you?

Yes, you got tired of it after Nick the

Barber pushed you over and rubbed it in.

I understand he took your girl too.

If you know so much,

what did you send for me for?

Listen, Sam.

We're both holding the same bag.

This little greaseball, Nick,

is giving us both the runaround.

Why don't you come clean?

Tell me how to bring him down.

If I knew, I'd do it myself.

He must have some weakness.

He's just a smalltime hick at heart.

But just dumb enough to be smart.

If you were the district attorney,

how would you tackle him?

I'd shoot him some night

when he was trying to escape from the law.

Don't be silly. That isn't done.

- Well, you know his weakness, don't you?

- What?

Heh.

He's nuts for blonds. Yeah.

Send your wife around,

he'll go for any old bag.

Why, you... Grr.

A little rub, Nick?

- Yeah, I don't mind.

Now, what is it you boys wanna know?

We want to know what you've got to say to

this latest blast from the district attorney.

Oh, has he been talking about me?

Look at that.

He's throwing kisses at you again.

Why, he's got me all wrong, boys.

I'm not a gambler, I'm a barber.

This is my shop.

This is the only business I've got.

Nick the Barber,

isn't that what everybody calls me?

What's he wanna go ahead

and make a lot of trouble for?

I'm just a nice little fella

trying to get along.

What's he wanna go ahead

and blow a lot of steam off for?

You know, he reminds me of a little sawmill

we had in our old hometown in Irontown.

It had a big whistle,

every time the whistle blew...

...the sawmill stopped running.

Yeah.

Then you're going to keep

your place open as usual?

Well, why not? There's no law

against running a barbershop, is there?

You're too smart for one guy, Nick.

- Yeah, I ought to incorporate, huh?

- Yeah.

Here, have a cigar, boys.

A fella in Havana makes them up for me.

- Is that so?

- Help yourselves.

- Sure.

- I'm not forgetting you, old boy.

- Well, so long.

- So long.

See you in the jailhouse.

Sure, I'll come and visit you

in the can anytime, brother.

So long.

So long.

Good luck, Nick.

I gotta catch this next edition, Nick.

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