Smart Money Page #6

Thanks very much.

Well, pleasure was all mine, boys.

Heh-heh.

Boss, you're sure one smart fellow.

- You sure tell them a big mouthful.

- Yeah.

If that cheap district

attorney get too fresh...

...Nick the Barber give him close shave.

Place your bets.

Now, don't be jealous, pal.

Oh.

- How do you do?

- How do you do?

- Are you Mr. Venizelos?

- Well, you've got the right fellow.

- Sit down, please.

- Thank you.

- I wonder, Mr. Venizelos, if you could...

- Oh, call me Nick.

- Well, I'm in an awful plight.

- Yeah?

I've lost all my money

at the roulette table.

And I wonder if you could lend me some

to get home on.

I don't believe in lending,

but I'll give you 10.

Ten? Oh, I need 500.

Five hundred?

Where do you live, lady? China?

Oh.

I could leave this for security.

Hmm. You can't go wrong on that.

- It's worth nearly a thousand.

- You know jewelry, all right.

And women too.

You know, it's my business

to make a study of human nature.

And I can see that you're on the level.

I've heard how fascinating you are

to women, Mr. Venizelos...

...but the stories only half told it.

Hmm. Heh-heh-heh.

Well, I think that deserves a drink,

don't you?

- How about it?

- Fine.

Thank you.

Here's to the most charming man

I've ever met.

And here's to the most charming woman

I've ever met.

- Ahh.

- You're certainly a friend in need.

Big-hearted Nick, they call me.

Never said no to a woman in my life.

I'll take you to the cashier's and get

the money. Oh, don't let's forget this.

There.

Tell me, when am I gonna see you again?

When would you like to?

Tomorrow for lunch, at the Savoy?

Yes, that would be splendid.

You give me your address,

I'll send my car for you.

No, thanks.

Never mind, I'll just take a taxi.

Oh, no, no, no. I wouldn't think

of you doing that. Ha-ha-ha.

Oh, that's all right.

I'll meet you there, Nick.

- Goodbye.

- Goodbye.

And tell the district attorney

I'll see him on Tuesday.

Hello? Hello?

Say, get me the district attorney...

...at his home right away.

I'll answer it.

- Hello?

- Hello, is that you, Black?

Well, this is Nick the Barber.

I just kicked your stool pigeon

right out of my office.

If you don't quit messing around my affairs,

I'm gonna kick you right out of town.

A stool pigeon?

What did she do to tip her mitt?

Oh, boy, I can tell them.

She had "district attorney"

written right across her kisser.

Before I got through with her, she had

Nick the Barber written across her...

...something else.

- Heh-heh.

- Congratulations.

- Yeah.

You got wise to yourself at last.

No woman will ever make

a sucker out of me again.

Nick is plenty smart these days. Yes, sir.

- Oh, boy. Ha-ha.

- Heh-heh.

Boy, I'll never forgot the expression

on that dame's pan...

...when I gave her the boot.

Probably the first time

she was kicked out of an office.

Yeah.

What's that?

Stop, Bill.

- What's the matter?

- We dragged a girl out.

- Will you take her?

- Where is she?

- Right over there.

- Go on, let's see.

Still alive?

Yes.

Get a robe, quick.

Yes, sir.

We'll take her to the hospital.

Wait a minute,

what do you know about this dame?

Well, all I know she's almost drowned.

Come on. Quickly, get her in the car.

Get her in the car now.

I'll take care of her.

- All right, George, pick up.

- Attaboy.

- All right.

- Go on, step on it.

How do you know she's not another plant

from the DA's office?

I suppose they brought her here

and threw her in the water.

Well, don't forget,

you can still pour water.

Smart fella, aren't you?

Here.

Attagirl.

- Where am I?

- You're all right.

- We're taking you to the hospital.

- Where?

To the Receiving Hospital.

Now, don't get excited.

Oh, please don't take me to the hospital.

I don't wanna go there. I won't go there.

- What did I tell you?

- Now, don't get yourself all worked up.

Let me out here and I'll go home.

I can get a bus.

No, you can't do that. You're all wet.

- You'll catch pneumonia.

- I'll be all right.

Let her go if she wants to.

We might get into a jam.

You don't know what her racket is.

Bill, come on, pull up to the curb.

Say, I think you'd better take

that robe with you. It's cold.

No, I'll be all right.

Thank you very much. It was kind of you.

Oh, Jack, Jack. Come here, get her.

The act is on again.

It looks as though the kid is starved.

I suppose you call that fixing too.

- What do you wanna do?

- Put her in the car.

We'll take her home.

What do you think we're gonna do?

Come on, take care of her now. Easy.

Well, what are you gonna do

about that girl?

Are you running a sanitarium?

Are you still harping on that?

Put on a new record.

Haven't you had enough trouble with dames

without going out and looking for it?

I wouldn't trust any of them.

But you gotta admit,

they're awfully nice company.

Ahh...

Oh, why don't you snap out of it?

Say, your face is so long,

I'd charge you two prices for a shave.

What, you up?

Probably got a date with her manager.

Yes, I'm leaving.

I just wanted to thank you

for being so kind.

Oh, don't thank him, lady.

He loves playing St. Nick for dames.

He picks up a woman every week,

just to keep in practice.

Don't mind him.

He's rehearsing a vaudeville act.

And if he lets out one more crack, I'll

ring the curtain right down on his chin.

You can't walk out like this.

The doctor said you might get pneumonia.

Even the doctors play him for a sucker.

Say, why don't you wisen up?

Give her a break.

- Snake Eyes.

- Yes, sir?

- Draw another cup of java.

- Coming right up, boss.

I think you better stay put for

a few days. You look plenty weak.

Like The Wreck of the Hesperus?

Yeah, something like that.

I have a few questions

I wanna ask this young lady.

- Do you know who we are?

- No.

Only you've been very kind.

- Have you ever heard of Nick the Barber?

- Yes.

I've read about him in the papers.

He's a gambler, isn't?

Oh, I recognize you now.

Heh-heh-heh.

And you've never seen him before?

Only pictures in the newspapers.

Well, lady, you must have some cream.

Heh-heh.

Why did you jump off that bridge

last night?

Are you sure you didn't fall off?

Say, what are you,

a policeman or something?

Go on, get dressed.

I know what I'm doing.

Go on.

Mother knows best.

Your friend doesn't like me very well.

Don't take what that loogan

said seriously.

- Really, he's a swell fellow.

- That's all right.

I'm used to abuse.

Hey, you'll be having Blondie

crying in a minute. Heh-heh.

Come on, get hold of yourself.

- Were you working?

- I was, but I lost my job.

And then I got sick.

- Yeah, and you were broke, huh?

- I had a few dollars.

And some more things

happened and... Heh.

Then last night.

I don't suppose

it's very easy for you girls.

I was a coward.

Oh-ho-ho, coward...

Say, lots of people would be cowards

if they went through what you did.

But I'm all straightened out now.

- Attagirl.

- I feel like a new person.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes