Smart People Page #7

Listen,

I haven't had any grand epiphany

or made any sweeping changes

in my personality

over the past few weeks.

I know I'm a miserable a**hole, but

I do have some hope for myself.

Lawrence, I'm pregnant.

And according to my calculations,

this pregnancy is the result

of the first time.

- Well, why didn't you tell me?

- Because you were being such an ass.

You were not exactly

a wellspring of emotional information.

Why would you have a baby with me?

Because you don't know

how to properly use a condom.

Message received.

You're intelligent, right?

And you're not unattractive.

I mean, it's not like

it's a total genetic crapshoot.

Though you do have some deficits.

But you came here today.

We can figure this out.

We're smart people.

I'm sorry. I love you.

It's not up to you. It's not up to me.

- Sorry.

- Chuck, you stay, please. Just...

It's just that you have options.

And you should be aware of all of them.

Well, you have options, too, Vanessa.

You can either continue

to be miserable,

or you can just stop being

angry at everyone

and accept the way things are.

Allow yourself to live.

You sound like a stupid

motivational speaker.

You're not listening to me.

You're not.

I am not cleaning any dirty diapers.

Morning.

Matthew Arnold, one of the writers

we'll be studying this semester,

wrote that, "Culture is the pursuit

of our total perfection,

"the best which has been

thought and said in the world."

Now, my name is

Lawrence Wetherhold.

You may call me Professor

Wetherhold, or Dr. Wetherhold.

But you may not call me, "Hey, you,"

or, "Yo, Teach," or, "Dude,"

because none of these

terms of address

could possibly be the prelude

to intelligent comment or question.

So let's get to know one another.

Joseph Anderson.

Joseph, where you from?

So you got to go,

but you don't know where

All that you know,

is you can't stay here

What's left to do, but wish you the best

In your pursuit of happiness

You say it's not me, it's just you

But I'm the only one in the room

Asking myself why you have left

In your pursuit of happiness

In your pursuit of happiness

All the papers read

Happiness is fled

Known accomplice to the sad

I hope you find what you're looking for

Your piece of mind,

I want nothing more

Somewhere over the rainbow's end

In your pursuit of happiness

Starting over again, more or less

In my pursuit of happiness

Baby, won't you help me be my best

Help me find a way back to our nest

And dreams

If this were a book

It'd start with a line

I once knew a man

I was his and he was mine

So predictable

So confused

I'm at a loss for words

to explain my mood

I stitch this bow

into the bottom of my dress

The one that touches me

directly on my legs

And I wear that gold ribbon till

It sits over my heart

And I hold it tight

And dream

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