Smartass

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2

Let me get two bindles.

And don't f*** with me,

I want the homie price.

You hear me?

I hear you

on the homie price,

but you ain't no homie,

n*gger.

Ah, I see.

Look what you just did.

Say n*gger now.

Awe, look. You got something

on your shoe, homie.

B*tch.

You good, baby?

Hugo.

Hey, buddy.

How's the trap shot business?

These guys are total suckers.

Ya know, I'm still

waiting on my cut

from that custom van work I did.

It's rough out here,

I got overhead.

You're such a shyster.

Hey...

You cool?

Yeah, you?

Yeah.

Hugo, come on, man.

You think you'll get

to ride in a lowrider?

Maybe.

That'd be cool.

Yeah.

Hey, get off my property!

Ninja skills, try me, b*tch.

Give that back.

Nope, it's mine now.

What are you

gonna do with that?

Keep it like a prize.

Otto, can you help me?

I almost got this, man.

Is that a condom machine?

That's disgusting.

Seriously, dude, if you

don't shut the f*** up,

I'm gonna rip your

f***in' throat out.

Hey, thought smack was

supposed to make you like,

sleepy and nice,

not a douchetard.

You have room to talk.

You're like the

biggest a**hole alive.

Me?

Yes, you!

F*** yes.

Motivational speaker.

I might kill you.

Awe, then

you'd be so lonely.

No, I wouldn't.

What the f*** you

lookin' at, motherf***er?

You want some of me, b*tch?

Alright, motherf***er.

I should be a gang.

Just you, huh?

Mm-hmm.

One person can't be a gang.

Hey, no crushing

my dreams, okay?

Okay, Fred, you're a gang.

What would your name be?

That's a good question.

I don't know yet.

Lobo.

Look, Efe, I can explain.

All you can do now is listen.

We have no place

for you here, ese.

Your coming here

disrupts my peace

and I, Lobo,

I'm a peaceful man.

Wait, wait, Poco Efe,

please, just wait.

Begging ain't gonna

do you no good, homie.

$50,000, just

$50,000 by tomorrow.

Come on, Efe,

a little disruption

and my protection is

worth at least $50,000.

Trust me, I'm good for it, Efe.

Sh*t'll be picked up

at my brother's place

in Morieto tonight.

Just needs to be trailed.

I'll give you 24 hours

for your 50,000.

And I'll take one of those.

Come on, Efe.

Do me a favor.

You want a favor?

You got 24 hours, ese.

Thanks.

My money, man, don't

be trippin', homie!

Back the f*** up.

What's going on, Z?

Uh, there's like

a disagreement

and a lot of racial slurs.

The f*** is this?

Nothing, gosh.

So we should probably,

ya know, get outta here

- 'cause this...

- Yo, you trippin', homie!

Yo, you need to

back up off me.

Whoa, whoa, whoa,

Freddie, Freddie.

Say somethin'!

I'm so over this sh*t.

Going back to Vermont.

Say somethin', homie!

- Say somethin'!

- What?

Chuchu, please

they're gonna kill me

and I need your help, baby.

Babe!

I'm here.

Lobo, I miss you.

Well, you're never

gonna f***in' see me again

if you don't f***in' help me!

Why are you yelling?

'Cause he bit

my f***in' finger off

and he's gonna let

these niggas kill me

if I don't get him this money.

Lobo.

F***, baby, what?

Nobody's gonna kill you.

Nobody's gonna kill you.

Just f***in' help me.

Jose should already be there,

just make sure

they stay with the

f***in' problem.

Okay.

F***ing fine, f***.

I've only got 24 hours.

- Chuchu!

- Come on, kill me, puta!

Kill me, kill me, come on, hey!

Puto!

Oh, almost!

I'll shine your sh*t

right up your ass!

Give it to me.

Oh, you b*tch!

Puto, f*** you!

F***, sh*t.

Anybody got better

sh*t than Paolo, huh?

Now that is what you

call a loaded question

'cause I,

you wanna hear no, but then

that's a suspect answer

because I know that

you wanna hear it.

Sit down.

What are you doing?

Alright, now can

I get the stuff?

Yes.

Yes, you can.

Alright, I'll

wait for you here.

- You're f***ed up.

- You're f***ed up.

I like him.

Okay, man, I'm done.

I'm done with you

f***in' b*tches.

You say that you like

my friend, Donny,

well, it's your lucky day.

Stand up, you f***ing c*nt.

Hey, Donny, take her,

she's yours.

F***in' sh*t.

What the f*** are

you doin' to me here?

F***.

Here ya go, I'll have the rest

for you tomorrow, alright?

You're a good boy, Donny.

Thanks.

I hope nothing bad happens

to you between these times.

You see, why you

gotta say it like that

'cause now I think

you want something bad

to happen to me.

No, I don't.

Yes, you do.

No.

No, I don't.

Yes, you do, man.

Way to f***in' creep

me out, alright?

I'm leavin'.

Hey, hey, hey,

take Chuchu with you.

It's my gift.

No, no, no, no, she's

like f***in' half dead.

I don't want her, alright,

you keep her, please.

Paolo does not take no

for an answer and, um,

I don't want her anymore.

So, no Chuchu, no loan.

Ah, f***.

Alright, f***, fine,

I'll take her.

Come on.

Hey, Donny!

Yeah?

- I like you.

- What the f*** does that mean?

You like Venice too, look

how she f***in' ended up.

Correction, my friend.

I love Venice.

I only like you.

Right, yeah, of course.

Alright, come on, let's go.

Let's go.

Let's go, let's go, let's go.

Hey.

Taking his bag, alright?

It's got the papers in it.

Hey, I'll go with.

Z, tell Otto I got

kidnapped by aliens.

Okay.

Hey.

What?

What were you gonna say?

Uh, just that,

I'm glad that you're

traveling with.

Well, it was either

you or Air Force One, so.

Hey.

What's up?

Come here for a minute.

Ooh, you're like a

f***in' terrorist.

You're comin' with me.

That's exactly what

a terrorist would say.

We're going to Burger Bomb.

Oh, why didn't you just

say that in the first place?

Bye, Nick.

You have work to do.

Hey, Donny.

Hey, Otto.

She dead?

- Her, no.

- She looks dead, dude.

You can't say that

'cause she's not dead.

- Oh, she's not dead?

- No.

- Where'd you get her?

- She was a gift.

- Oh, she was a gift, huh?

- Yeah.

Think when she dies,

they're gonna, I don't know,

give you a new one?

Yeah, see, I don't

know why she said that

'cause she's not gonna die.

They got sh*t

goin' on by the stairs.

Yeah? Otto, what's

going on back there?

Yeah, Donny, she's

like grabbing onto her

f***in' head, dude.

Let her go.

Let her go.

Walk, dude.

Let her go.

Take her up,

man, get her inside.

What the f***?

Sorry.

It's cool, brother.

See you around.

Let's go.

Yeah.

Still think she's gonna die.

She probably will.

Hey.

Yo.

Nick, meet Chuchu.

Chuchu, you say hello to Nick.

Nice, real sweetheart.

Now, Nick, you

gotta promise me.

You gotta be careful

with this stuff

because it's gonna

make your face drip off

in like five minutes.

Not that that's a bad

thing, by the way.

That clean, huh?

Yeah, the guy's a

f***in' psycho, dude. You know?

You know, he made me take her

if I wanted to buy his sh*t.

Nick, the dude f***in'

gave me a human being.

Obviously I did because the

dude's f***in' scary, ya know?

So, Donny, I have a favor.

I didn't come up

with all the money.

Uh, sh*t.

That kinda makes me a

little nervous because

the dude was sketchin' out

about nothing bad happening,

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