Smoking Guns Page #9

plus, win a profit equal

to the original stake.

Supposed to be fool proof, but...

This is really not

the f***ing time to hear about

your stupid f***ing

betting theories.

Now, are you gonna

do the job or not?

Alright, Rich, I'll do it.

I'll tell you what,

I'll do it for three per head.

[Holt] Three per head?

So you're gonna make money

out of my misfortune?

I stood to make ten,

but now I've got to give

that ten to you, is that right?

Rich, don't be like that,

mate, I am f***ing skint.

[Holt] Oh, he's skint.

I'll give you three per head, but

I want the job done, immediately.

Those monkeys will be

at the bookies right now

watching the last race

and you got about 15 minutes.

Fifteen minutes Rich, no way.

You joking?

No, I'm not joking.

Well, I haven't got

a gun on me, mate.

You specifically told me

I wouldn't need one.

Well, you'd better hurry up and go

f***ing find one then, hadn't you?

Oh, f***ing...

Can't I do it tomorrow?

You might not be able

to find them tomorrow.

Oh, there always

at the bookies, Rich.

Yeah, but they might

not be at the bookies.

I f***ing really can't be

bothered now, mate... [chuckles]

If I go home, my missus,

f***ing she's gonna ask me

all sorts of questions,

"Where you been?"

Zack.

I do love you, Zack.

You're a good looking chap,

ain't you?

And you got a beautiful mouth.

Your nothing more

than a cum bucket.

You're a cock muncher.

When you were f***ing born

someone shouted out,

"Look at that c*nt coming

out of that c*nt's c*nt."

So you see what I'm saying

here, Zack, is don't complain

'cause I'll just get

Luca Barbosa to come in.

And he will do it for

half the f***ing price.

You know what

I might even get him

to throw in you

and your missus, how's that?

Rich, Lucas wouldn't

do it for less than

three per head not on...

not on short notice, no way.

He did Jason Cole's

cheating wife for two.

F*** off.

I'm not taking sides here,

but I did hear

something bout that.

Bollocks, Mark.

I'm telling you he did,

fat Lorraine told me.

Tweedledum and Tweedledee.

Fat Lorraine talks

out of her ass, Mark.

It's a competitive market, and even if

Luca Barbosa won't do it for three,

I guarantee you Christov Alexandrov

will do it for two and half.

This is exactly what

I said would happen,

right, when the EU lifted

the migrant restrictions

and Bulgarians

and f***ing Romanians.

Will you shut the f*** up?

Always gabbing away, ain't you?

Does this face

look like I give a f***?

Alright, Rich, alright.

So.. this is the last

time I'm gonna ask you.

Are you gonna do it... or not?

It don't matter, man,

look I f***ing...

I just want you to know, bruv...

I know you still have

my back isn't it, bruv.

I appreciate that sh*t,

your my f***ing boy, bruv.

F***ing, boy.

How's your nose, man?

F***ed, isn't it?

He caught me with a lucky one,

f***ing tosser.

Look at us, mate.

We look like a f***ing

pair of boxers, mate.

Yeah, or f***ing

cage fighters then.

Well, don't go too far, yeah.

Well, listen, you're still gonna sort

me out if it wins though, isn't it?

Of course, man. Of course.

What was that horse called?

Punter's Prayer.

F***ing, I really hope it wins,

man, with all this f***ing sh*t.

It'll really change

your whole life if it does.

F*** me, a half millionaire.

It's too late to cash out now, so

I guess all you can do is pray.

Yeah, well,

I've decided anyway, man,

if it wins I'm gonna give

50 grand to the kids in Africa.

[Yiannis laughs]

You trying to trick karma again?

Do you honestly believe

there's someone upstairs

who's listening to,

and believing your bullshit?

It's not bullshit Yiannis, yeah.

Believe me, mate, the amount

of people I'm gonna help out

if I win this money,

it's unbelievable, man.

I'm gonna help the disabled,

the local community,

toddlers, the elderly.

[Yiannis] Ian, do me a favor,

mate, run down to the shops

and get me some cigarettes,

I ain't had one all day.

And while you're there, get me a couple

of pound of scratch cards, as well.

F*** that, Yian.

That's wrong, bruv, honestly, they're f***ing

probably still looking for me, bruv.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I

bet, a whole f***ing army of them.

Ian, man, I thought I shattered that

gangster illusion for you, man.

We... f***ing bashed up that little

poof in front of his goons, mate, yeah?

Your f***ing old man,

he'd have been proud of you

today some, mate.

Don't ruin it now, mate.

Go on, you go for me,

and you can keep the change.

[Ian] I can keep the change, and all you

want is 20 scarabs and two scratch cards?

Jack, do you want anything

from the shop, bruv?

- Jack?

- What?

Do you want anything

from the shop?

Nah, man, I just really hope

this f***ing horse wins, man.

If there's a God and you're

listening, mate, please, yeah.

[Yiannis] Go on, run along, race

is gonna start in a minute.

Soon we're gonna find out

whether our Jack has made the most

genius gambling decision in history,

or if he's just flushed

30K down the toilet.

I'm going for a piss, Yiannis.

[Phyllis] Jack, sweetheart.

All or nothing, baby.

Did you just tell Jack

he could still cash out at 30K?

Yeah, who's can talk

some sense into him?

I told you, I'd wait till the start of

the race so you can change his mind.

But you better hurry up though,

it's gonna start in a minute.

[Jack] I feel so close to you right

now, closer than I've ever been.

Even the distant scent

of glory and success

overpowers the stench of piss

and bleach that surrounds me.

[knocking on door]

Who is it?

[Yiannis] Jack, let me in,

I need to talk to you.

Hi, mate.

Can I have, uh, 20 scarabs

and I'll have two of them Rich

for Life scratch cards... bruv.

You got any white chocolate?

What you see is what you get.

You need more of

a selection, mate.

That'll be 4.65.

Yes, f***ing 50 quid!

I ain't never won more than

a pound on these before, boss.

Maybe today's my lucky day.

There is no such thing as lucky,

lucky is just a state of mind.

If you say so, mate.

Here, can I have two more

of them the same one?

[phone ringing]

Hello, Mom.

Alright. Listen, um...

I'm really sorry

about earlier on.

You're right,

I need to get a job,

but... I might have some

really good news.

No, I might have,

it's difficult to explain.

Alright, okay.

No, you're...

Yeah, you're right, okay.

Well, listen, Mom, I'll be

home in a couple of minutes

we'll talk about it

properly then, yeah.

Alright, an then...

Mom, you know I f***ing love

you, don't you?

Yeah, alright, yeah, okay.

Okay, I'll see you in a minute.

Alright, bye.

It's okay, it's okay...

Young Ian, things have gotten

out of hand and I'm sorry,

I'm really sorry, sweetheart.

I might not be a killer,

but I know a man who is,

and it hasn't cost me

as much as you think.

Three grand a f***ing head.

[operatic music]

[rifle fires]

[no audible dialogue]

- [Yiannis] Jack, Jack!

- [banging on door]

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