Snatch Page #3

to the shop, don't I?

Stop the dog!

Come back!

All right, Boris?

-Don't worry about the dog.

-I'm not.

What can I do for you?

I have a job for you.

I already have a job.

Fifty grand for half a day's work.

Go on.

I want you to hold up a bookies.

From Russia with love, eh?

I have stones to sell...

...fat to chew and many men

to see about many ducks...

...so if I am not rushing you....

Slow down, Franky, my son.

When in Rome.

I am not in Rome, Doug.

I am in a rush.

I got to make the bookies.

Bookies?

-What are you betting on?

-Bomber Harris.

The unlicensed boxer?

Do you know something that I don't?

Bubbe, I probably know

a lot you don't.

He's bad to the bone,

ain't you, Tyrone?

Of course I am.

Tyrone'll drive for us. He's

done a rally driving course.

Of course I have.

I don't want that dog

dribbling on my seats.

Your seats?

Tyrone, this is a stolen car, mate.

While I'm at the wheel, it's my car...

...so stop that dog dribbling

on my seats. All right?

I can't believe you found it.

Where'd it go?

It went back to the gyppos.

Shut up.

And how could it find them?

Well, I don't know.

I'm not a dog, Sol.

Ask him.

It's like he's

a f***ing homing beacon.

Steady on the brakes.

I thought you said

he could drive, Sol.

Don't worry about me. Just worry

about that dog on my seats.

All right?

What?

You said he was a getaway driver.

What the f*** can he get away from?

Don't worry about Tyrone.

He can move when he has to.

Worry about getting us a gun.

What's that?

This is a shotgun, Sol.

It's a f***ing

anti-aircraft gun, Vincent.

-I want to raise pulses, don't I?

-You'll raise hell, never mind pulses.

That does not look like a bookies.

Why'd we stop here? What's the

matter with that space over there?

It's too tight.

Too tight?

You could land a

jumbo-f***ing-jet in there.

Leave him alone.

He's a natural. Ain't you, Tyrone?

Of course I am.

A natural f***ing idiot.

Tyrone, what've you done?

Yeah, Tyrone, what have you done?

Look, you hassle me,

you see what happens.

It's all right.

No, don't move it now.

People'll see the damage.

Why'd you do that?

I didn't see it.

It's a four-ton truck. It's not like

it's a packet of f***ing peanuts.

It was at a funny angle.

It's behind you, Tyrone.

Whenever you reverse,

things come from behind you.

Control that dog as well.

-Get that dog off him.

-Get it off me.

Give me that squeaky toy.

It shut him up last time.

Don't snatch.

He can't swallow the whole ball.

Yeah.

Why the f***...

...did you put Gorgeous George...

...into a bare-knuckle boxing match...

...two days before

he had to fight The Bomber?

He was half his size.

I didn't expect him to get hurt.

You put the man into

a bare-knuckle boxing match.

What the f*** did you expect?

A grease-down and a shiatsu?

Who took the jam out of your doughnut?

You took the f***ing jam

out of my doughnut.

You did.

You said get a good deal.

I fail to recognize

the correlation...

...between losing 10 grand,

hospitalizing Gorgeous...

...and a good deal.

How'll we explain this to Brick Top?

That his fight won't happen?

We replace the fighter.

Oh, and hope he doesn't notice?

Who the f*** will we

replace him with?

What about John The Gun?

Or Mad Fist Willy?

You're not Mr. Current Affairs,

are you?

Mad Fist went mad...

...and The Gun shot himself.

Jesus.

What?

Let's use the f***ing pikey.

-How much you gonna pay us?

-10K.

Me bollocks. Lose more

than that running for the bus.

All right.

I'll do it for a caravan.

A what?

A caravan.

-Top of the range and all that.

-It was us that wanted a caravan.

Anyway, what's wrong with this one?

It's not for me.

It's for me ma.

Your what?

His ma.

Brick Top runs an illegal bookies.

They take bets on anything

that involves blood and pain.

Now I'm changing fighters...

...and Brick Top's gonna

exploit the situation.

He's gonna pull my pants down,

grease me up...

...and aim for penetration.

If I didn't have

the replacement pikey...

...he'd want to split me in half.

They could charm the paint off walls,

these fellas.

Look mean now,

you hairy f***er, won't you?

Shits himself when

you put him in the ring.

Poke him with a stick,

you watch his bollocks grow.

Do you like a dog fight, Turkish?

We've lost Gorgeous George.

You're gonna have to repeat that.

We've lost Gorgeous George.

Well, where'd you lose him?

He ain't a set

of f***ing car keys, is he?

And it's not as if he's

incon-f***ing-spicuous, is it?

We're not backing out.

You bet your bollocks to

a barn dance you're not.

We're changing the fighter.

Oh, f*** me,

your lady friend got a voice?

Who are you changing him to,

sweetheart?

You won't know him, but he's mustard.

Mustard?

I don't care if he's

Muhammad "I'm Hard" Bruce Lee...

...you can't change fighters.

-You've still got your fight.

-No.

I lose all bets at the bookies.

You can't change fighters.

So, no, I don't have my fight,

do I, you f***ing prat?

You can take bets at the fight.

Put a lead on her, Turkish,

before she gets bitten.

Do you want to get bitten, sweetheart?

Make sure your man goes down

in the fourth.

You understand me now,

don't you, Turkish?

This is the one place

I didn't want to be:

In his debt.

Which now means I'm in his pocket.

You're on thin-f***ing-ice,

my pedigree chums.

And I shall be under it

when it breaks.

Now, f*** off.

Doug, where's Franky Four Fingers?

I don't know. I'm not his mother.

But I'm seeing him later.

-When later?

-He said he wanted cash.

So he's coming back

after he's been to a fight.

A fight?

What do you mean, a fight?

A boxing match?

-Is there gambling involved?

-It's a boxing match, Avi.

-Did he have a case with him?

-Yes, he had a case.

And this schmuck is gambling?

You're talking about Franky "I've got

a problem with gambling" Four Fingers.

Avi, I'm not telepathic.

You're plenty stupid,

I'll give you that.

Do you know why they call him

Franky Four Fingers?

I have no idea.

Because he makes stupid bets

with dangerous people.

When he doesn't pay up,

they give him the chop.

And I'm not talking about

his f***ing foreskin.

I'm sure he can pay.

Not with my goods. Got a toothbrush?

We're going to London.

Do you hear that?

I'm coming to London!

-Avi!

-Shut up and sit down, you bald f***!

I don't like leaving my own country...

...especially leaving it for anything

less than warm, sandy beaches...

...and cocktails

with little straw hats.

We've got sandy beaches.

So who the f*** wants to see them?

I hope you can appreciate the concern

I have for my friend Franky.

I'll find him,

and you'll help me find him.

And we'll start at that fight.

How am I gonna get it out?

It will probably cough it up.

Will he be all right?

I hope not.

-Are we gonna rob this bookies?

-Yes, big man.

Why are we waiting?

We are waiting for a man with

four fingers, carrying a briefcase.

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