Snatched

What does this say?

Does it say, "I grabbed it

outta my suitcase

"and went to the beach"

or "Girl who overplans

for vacation outfits"?

There's just a picture

of a bird on it.

It doesn't say anything.

No, I mean, like,

its vibe, you know?

Like, what's its vibe?

Oh.

It's perfect for Ecuador.

(CHUCKLES)

Yeah. And, like,

why Ecuador?

Because we didn't want to

go somewhere touristy.

We're not just, like,

a couple of white a**holes.

(CHUCKLES)

No offense.

I really need it.

I just want to, like,

sip a Mai Tai

and smoke a J, and

then just kinda, like

start having red wine at night.

And then Scotch.

And if somebody's like,

"Have you ever done

ayahuasca?"

I'll be like,

"No, is it safe?"

And then I'll try it.

I don't care.

And are things ideal,

financially, right now?

No. The answer is no.

But will things pick up?

One thousand percent.

(CHUCKLES)

Did I tell you Michael's band

is blowing up right now?

Yeah.

So, yeah, basically

you know, money won't be

an "ish" much longer.

This is a good color

for me, right?

So, did you guys have this

in my size?

Yeah, no.

Sorry.

Okay.

Thanks, anyway.

Have fun on your trip.

Nice meeting you.

I hope you find your keys.

Oh, my keys. F***!

This would be cute on me if...

(SHUTTER CLICKS)

Are you serious?

What's up?

You are supposed to be selling

clothes to the customers.

Not to yourself.

And what are you even doing

on the floor?

I'm re-racking

clothes

You know what? You're fired!

What?

I'm done.

No, no, no.

(STUTTERS) I need this job. Can

you just think about this?

Look at the other employees.

Like, what about this b*tch?

I've never seen her do sh*t.

You don't do sh*t here!

She doesn't work here.

Oh, okay.

Hi. Thank you so much

for coming in.

Look, can we just

talk about this

when I get back from

my vacation to Ecuador?

Vacation?

You never even asked

for time off.

And I'm realizing that

right now, okay?

And it's because I forgot.

Get out!

God! You know what?

I don't need this job.

I'm gonna go have

a sick time in Ecuador.

You have fun here,

with all your shirts

and your hours.

Because I don't need it.

I'm about to kick your ass.

Takin' this.

Put the damn hat down!

EMILY:
I looked her right

in the eye, and I went

"I wouldn't work here

if you paid me."

And I just stormed out.

Just like, for real.

Like, "Bye."

Another one will come.

Right?

Yeah.

You know what? I'm not gonna

talk about that anymore.

I wanna focus on you and me

on the beach.

Are you with me?

I can't go to South America.

What are you talking about?

(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

I can't go to Ecuador.

You know it's a

non-refundable trip, right?

I don't want to make it

about money

because money comes and goes,

but I don't have any more

coming right now, so

I'm breaking up with you.

When'?

Like, right now. This is it.

You're in the middle of it.

Is it because you're afraid

because things are going

so great between us?

That's what this is!

No.

You're terrified, because

you've never felt this way

about somebody before.

I know what's happening.

I'll tell you what it is.

Okay.

The band is really blowing

up right now, you know?

I know.

And I'm going like this.

I'm taking off, all right?

Okay.

And this is you.

Just on the ground.

I'm up here, too.

No, you're not up there.

Why can't I go up there?

No, stop.

I'm going this way.

I'm with you.

Well, I'm going that way now.

Now, I'm over there.

I'm going.

You can't reach.

My hand's over there.

Look.

This is the thing.

Where I'm going, there's

gonna be a ton of...

Inspiration.

P*ssy.

Inspiration?

No, p*ssy.

I keep talking over you,

but it's sounding like

you're saying...

P*ssy.

I heard it that time.

You heard it?

You always say

music inspires you.

P*ssy inspires me.

I have a p*ssy.

You have one p*ssy.

But there's gonna be, like,

hundreds of other pussies.

What about just my p*ssy,

hundreds of times?

That's not as inspiring.

You don't want to lose us.

You don't want to lose this.

No. Just no.

(WHIMPERS)

All right, this is the thing.

You don't have

any direction in life.

What does that mean?

It means you're not

going anywhere.

You're not doing anything.

You know what? I am

so sorry, honestly

I'm sorry, but I want

to see other people.

Excuse me?

You're great

but I have a lot

going on right now.

Yeah, I'm heartbroken.

You're gonna meet

someone so special.

Okay, I'm gonna go.

Bye.

I want you to leave!

You get out of here.

(SNIFFLING)

(CRYING)

LINDA:
Okay, one more for you.

(LINE RINGING)

Yeah, not for you, Andrew.

You blew it.

(ON VOICEMAIL) Hey, it's Emily.

Leave a message.

Ah, Em! Listen, honey,

I want you to be really careful

because there was some kind

of heist in Delaware.

Yeah, and I know you're in

New York and everything

but you can never be

too safe, honey.

(SIGHS)

(SIGHS)

(SIGHING)

Okay. All right.

(EXHALES HEAVILY)

Okay, guys.

Let's go to bed.

(CATS MEOWING)

(CELL PHONE CHIMES)

(GASPS)

(GAGS AND SPITS)

What?

What? No!

(SIGHS)

(HUFFS)

(CELL PHONE RINGING)

(CRYING)

Thank you. There you go.

(DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE)

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

(GASPS) Oh!

(CLICKS TONGUE)

Poor thing!

You look awful.

Thank you.

Who the hell

does he think he is?

How do you know I didn't

break up with him?

Did you?

No.

Of course not.

All right, this is a long hug.

I know.

One more minute.

I haven't seen you in,

like, forever.

Can we just move this hug along?

Hello, Philip.

(MEOWS)

Okay, honey.

So you can stay here

for as long as you want.

Carte blanche, okay?

I definitely have

to go back tonight.

Oh, tonight, right?

Tonight, I'm going back.

All right.

Well, do what you want.

Thank you.

We're in the kitchen.

Oh, Jeffrey's home?

What a shock.

Okay, don't start!

What?

Agoraphobia is not a joke.

Mama, Mama, Mama... Oh.

Hey, Em.

I thought you were Mom,

'cause you guys have, like,

the exact same voice.

LINDA:
Okay.

No, we don't.

You have the exact same

haircut, too.

You know who you have

the haircut of?

Who's that?

Harry Potter.

Harry Potter is the greatest

of all the wizards.

He's a hero

and a great role model.

So, I'll take it

as a compliment.

Mom, can I have

a chocolate milk?

Oh, God, Mama! Mama!

Yeah?

Very cold!

I didn't heat it up.

It's bread temperature.

Maybe three to four minutes

and get it nice and toasty?

We could toasty-toasty!

Don't ask Mom to toast

your bread for you!

What? ls something wrong

with your legs?

They're in a seated position.

She's already up.

I'll put the butter on myself.

Thank you, Mama.

Wow, you're gonna

butter it yourself?

Yeah, I'm gonna

butter it myself.

Does Mom feed you like a

baby bird when I'm not here?

I eat plenty. Don't worry

about my diet. Don't!

Mama! She's showing me

her food in her mouth.

No, I'm not, Mom. I'm

chewing like a person.

Then she opened her mouth

and showed it to me.

He's lying again.

Hey, guys!

This is supposed to be fun.

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