Snow White and the Three Stooges

[ Man Narrating ] Once upon a time,

in the far-offland of Fortunia...

there lived a noble king

and his lovely young queen...

who lacked but one blessing

to make theirjoy complete--

[ Moe ]

Not you.! Come outta there.

[ Narrator Clears Throat ]

l beg your pardon, ladies and gentlemen.

The good queen longed

for a child to love...

whose skin would be

as white as snow...

her lips as red as rubies...

and her hair as black as ebony.

- [ Moe ] Who let you in?

- My hair used to be black.

Out.! Before you get

a pair of eyes to match.

[ Narrator ]

Really.! This is most--Sorry.

The queen's prayers

were answered.

A child as delicate as a snowflake

was born to her...

and they called her

Snow White.

But the king's joy

was swiftly changed to grief...

for his frail and gentle queen

was taken from him...

and summoned back to heaven.

The king mourned her

with a broken heart...

but at last, in submission

to the pleading ofhis people...

he wed again.

But, alas, the new queen's heart

was cold and evil.

Mirror, mirror on the wall,

who is fairest of them all?

[ Man's Voice From Mirror]

Only truth reflects in me.

No one lives as fair as thee.

[ Narrator ]

But she reckoned without Snow White...

who, even in childhood,

showed the promise of a beauty...

that would one day

far outshine the queen's.

Now, it so happened

that there dwelt...

in the neighboring kingdom

of Bravuria...

a fearless and handsome prince--

- [ CurlyJoe ] He said ''handsome. ''

- [ Larry ] Yeah.! Get outta there.!

- Hold on! l'm a citizen!

- [ Narrator ] Gentlemen, l must protest.!

This is Prince Charming,

the hero of our story...

destined to love Snow White

with all his heart.

[ Moe ]

Come back here,you.! That belongs to me.

- Give it to me!

- [ Narrator ] Gentlemen.! Gentlemen.!

- Not in front of royalty.!

- [ CurlyJoe ] No, ya don't.

[ Narrator Sighs ]

A thousand pardons, ladies and gentlemen.

- [ Larry ] Hey, wait for me!

- [ Narrator ] And ifby now...

you're wondering what on earth

the Three Stooges...

have to do with the fairy tale of Snow White,

it's very simple.

ln this version,

we're telling the story of...

Snow White

and the Three Stooges.

[ Choir ]

There's a place

ln the sky

Called Happiness

On the far other side

Of the moon

Where you walk

through a bright

Golden door

To whatever your heart

Wishes for

Dreams are real

ln that place

Called Happiness

There's a rainbow

To guide you each day

Though it's far off somewhere

lf you keep on believing

lt's there

Your heart will fiind

The way

Though it's far off somewhere

lf you keep on believing

lt's there

Your heart will fiind

The way

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh

[ Narrator ] No child ever loved the winter

as did Snow White.

Jack Frost had but to touch the palace lake

with his white fiingers...

and she knew her greatestjoy

as she skimmed across its surface.

Only her father's love

gave her as much delight.

With the passing

of each birthday...

her beloved skates seemed

to lend her an enchantment.

As the beauty

of Snow White blossomed...

indeed her heart

could want for nothing.

Unbeknown to Snow White...

she had already incurred

the bitterjealousy ofher stepmother...

the queen.

Mirror, mirror

on the wall...

who's the fairest

of us all?

'Tis true, O Queen,

that thou art fair...

but so is Snow White.

Have a care.

[ Smacks Fist ]

- [ Sleigh Bells Jingling ]

- [ People Chattering ]

Let Snow White

have a care!

[Jingling Continues ]

Happy birthday

dear Princess

Oh, thank you!

Thank you, everyone.

They're all so beautiful.

l don't know which to open first.

Forgive me, Your Highness, but you're not

supposed to open any before your party tonight.

Oh, that's much

too long to wait.

Well, if Your Highness would like

to open just one...

l suggest that one.

Thank you, Eric. And you'd better take

the others in before l'm tempted again.

[ Bells Jingling ]

- Oh!

- Oh, how lovely and soft!

May l ask

who gave me this?

lt was l, Your Highness,

and l'm afraid l have a favor to beg of you.

For you, dear Linda,

you've only to ask.

Even if it means l leave you,

Your Highness?

- Leave me?

- To be married!

[ Crowd Murmurs ]

- To Frederick!

- l beseech you, Your Highness.

We'll be grateful to you

all our lives.

How could l refuse you?

l wish you all the happiness in the world.

Yea!

Such a magic day

only comes your way

But once

in a million years

All l can say is

That this kind of day

ls something

that happens to few

And may l add that

l'll always be glad

that what made it happen

Was you

A million

Bells are ringing

There's lovely music

in my ears

Boys and girls

can't miss

Guess a day like this

comes once

ln a million years

[ Men ]

A million birds start singing

Each time the one

you love appears

[ Choir ] Such a magic day

only comes your way but once

ln a million years

The trees are dressed

in their winter best

Wearing diamonds

in their hair

The sky's so blue

that it looks brand-new

There's a Christmasy feel

in the air

So let our hearts

be merry

For Mother Nature

here's three cheers

Plus a great big kiss

for a day like this

That comes once

ln a million--

Once

ln a trillion--

Once

ln a zillion years

So let our hearts

be merry

For Mother Nature

here's three cheers

Plus a great big kiss

for a day like this

That comes once

ln a million--

Once

ln a trillion--

Once

ln a zillion years

[ Vocalizing ]

Your Highness!

- Your Highness.!

- [ Ends ]

What is it, Rolf?

What's happened?

- His Majesty-- He suffered

a sudden attack! Please come.

- [ Gasps ]

Come, Your Highness, quickly!

- Father?

- Come closer, my dear.

Oh, father, l'm afraid!

My beloved child...

the time has come

for me to leave you...

but not in sorrow...

for l leave you

in loving hands.

Yes, my dearest husband.

Swear to me that you will

protect Snow White...

and love her as l have...

until she comes of age

and ascends the throne.

l shall live only for her,

my lord. l swear it.

And, Oga?

You will be faithful also?

To my last breath,

Your Majesty.

We are pleased.

My precious child...

one day you will be queen...

and your love will belong

to all your people.

Do not weaken it

with little sorrows...

and not for my sake.

For l die content.

[ Sobbing ]

Oh, no! No, Father!

[ Sobbing Continues ]

[ Ringing Continues ]

[ Drumroll ]

[ Drumroll ]

[ Ringing Continues ]

The king is dead.

Long live the queen.

[ Ringing Continues ]

My hour has come at last.

There was never

any doubt of it...

once l had signed the wizard's oath

to champion your cause.

[ Ringing Continues ]

l'm not exactly helpless

without you, Count Oga.

Far from it, dear lady.

lt was entirely your idea...

to have young Prince Charming

discreetly done away with.

l merely saw to it that your orders

were executed.

You needn't make it sound

as if l enjoy annihilating children.

l only do it when it's...

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