So Undercover Page #2

Well, thank God he

left the keys, man.

Sh*t, I mean hopefully

we can find our way back to Senwun.

How are we gonna do that?

I don't know where we are.

And you were f***ing

sleeping the whole time.

Okay, are you gonna get mad

at me for sleeping?

Yes, I am gonna get mad,

'cause you know what?

You should've been paying more attention

to where we're going.

- Are you serious, Mel?

- I don't know where the f*** we are, okay?

- Mel, whoa.

- And this phone is not working.

- And it's freaking me out, all right?

- All right, Mel, hey, shh.

- So we need to find a phone somewhere.

- Okay.

We'll go back

the way we came

and we'll-- we'll get to a place with

cell phone coverage.

And then we can

call my cousin.

Everything's

gonna be fine.

What the hell

happened back there?

People out here

in the countryside

are just more--

F***in' nuts.

Old fashioned.

You're not supposed to

Ieave your house

after dark.

So those animals outside

were live offerings

for the spirits?

Kind of like at the festival

but live offerings?

Yeah. You want to kick it

up a few notches out here

with goats

and dogs and sh*t.

But the idea is the same.

You leave an offering for the dead

and they won't come inside your house

and f*** with you.

What were they

yelling at us?

I don't know.

Your mom's right.

Your Cantonese is shitty as hell.

I think it was

an invitation.

An invitation?

Yeah.

Jesus Christ.

- Yul--

- I know. I know.

Five more minutes,

then we'll turn around.

Five minutes.

What do you expect,

Howard Stern?

Tower must be close by.

Yeah. Let me listen.

What's he saying?

I don't know. I can only make

out a couple words.

My Cantonese

is shitty, remember?

What is it?

What is he saying?

Old and new...

come together...

make offerings.

Protection...

blood...

sacrifice...

Oh my God.

What was that?

Huh, Yul?

I think it was a man.

A man?

Looked like an animal

or something.

It was a man--

a naked man.

Oh, no no no.

Come on, come on.

Come on, come on,

come on.

Just ease up on

the gas a little bit.

- Come on! F***!

- Just try the reverse thing.

Okay. Okay.

All right,

stop. Stop.

Let me try.

Let me try.

- Let's switch.

- Okay okay.

All right, baby, just go easy on it, okay?

Give it a little bit of gas.

Honey, I know what I'm doing.

I've lived in DC my entire life, okay?

Okay. Okay.

Sh*t.

Go! Sh*t!

- We're stuck.

- Don't say that. Don't say that, Mel.

- Come on.

- Get out and push.

- You have to.

- What?

- Get out and push right now.

- What about the naked dude?

Do you want me

to get out and push?

Huh? Fine, I'll get

out and push.

No! Don't get out!

Don't-- Mel-- don't--

Then get out. Just do it.

Don't think about it.

Just get out, Yul.

You're doing good.

Please, more more.

I don't have any more.

Push harder, Yul!

You did it!

Get in! Go!

Get in! Get in!

Hurry, Yul!

Just go.

Just go. Go!

Jesus. Jesus.

- Did you hear that? What was it?

- Yeah.

- What was that noise?

- It sounded like an animal.

- What?

- It sounded like a pig being slaughtered.

Yeah, okay. Right.

I mean, who the hell

slaughters a pig

in the middle

of the night, huh?

We're in China, Yul.

Yeah. Yeah.

I know we're in China, Mel.

But this isn't just--

this isn't just

China-weird, okay?

It's f***ing

just weird-weird.

Yeah, I know.

What, that's all

you're gonna say?

What do you

want me to say?

- Anything.

- Like what?

- Just something.

- Like what?

You got something to say,

just say it.

What do you want me

to f***ing say?!

I should be swimming with

the dolphins right now!

- What?

- But no, we're in f***ing China

because you wanted

to come here!

- Yes, I wanted to come here.

- This is all your f***ing fault!

- It's my fault?

- Yes, I hate you right now!

- It's my fault?!

- Yes, it's your f***ing fault!

- Why, because I'm Chinese?

- Yes!

Oh sh*t.

This place is so weird.

Oh my God.

Should we check on him?

- Just drive away.

- You want me to drive away?

Yeah. Reverse

and let's go back.

But what about this guy?

- Who cares about that? Let's just go.

- Huh?

Let's go. You don't want to be

in this country, right?

Oh my God, he's moving.

He's moving.

- Mel, please.

- I think we need to go see him.

- Mel, don't do it.

- Yul, I've got to go.

- Don't do anything stupid, Mel!

- I've got to go see him.

Mel. Don't.

- Mel.

- Hi.

- Hi.

- Help me.

Are you okay?

Oh God.

They are coming.

What's he saying, Yul?

- What's he saying?

- We have to go.

What's he saying?

- We've got to go.

- They are here.

I think we have to go.

- Be careful with him.

- We have to go, Mel. We gotta go.

Let's go.

We gotta go. Come on!

We gotta go! Mel!

Open the door!

Come on, get in there.

- Do you got him?

- Yeah.

- Get in!

- Come on, get in the seat.

Oh my God!

Go!

- Turn us around.

- The road's too narrow.

- You're gonna run us off the road!

- Sh*t!

Get us back on the road.

I'm trying.

- Slow down a little bit!

- We'll get stuck!

Oh God.

- Sh*t!

- I think we hit a ditch.

- No sh*t, we hit a ditch, Yul.

- Sorry.

- F***.

- F***!

Go go go go go.

No no no.

- It's stuck.

- No it's not.

- God!

- Slow down, honey.

Slow down,

slow down, slow down.

What were those things?

What's he saying?

Moon demons.

They're going

to follow this path

through the field

and find us.

I think we should get

the f*** out of this car.

We follow him.

Oh God.

Let us in.

Open the door, please.

I beg of you.

Please show mercy on us.

I'm not from around here.

I don't know what's going on.

She is American.

She's not part of this.

Please let her in.

Please let us in.

Please help us.

Please, these people

are chasing us.

Please please please.

They're crazy people.

They're gonna kill us. Please.

You need to let us in.

You need to help us.

We will pay you anything.

Please. Please.

Please.

Keep your voices down.

Stop calling to them.

Hurry.

They will see us.

Help me move this to the door.

What is he saying?

We need to find something

alive to put outside.

Alive?

- What, like that dog?

- Yeah. Yeah.

Um, they're gonna come

inside and find us

unless we put something

outside for them to kill.

What the hell

are those things, huh?

I don't know.

What are they, part of

some cult or something?

I have no idea, Mel.

What do you know, Yul?

Apparently nothing.

There has to be

something we can do.

Yeah, there's

something we can do.

We can find something

alive to put outside.

Okay.

This is rice here.

This is rice.

We might get lucky

and find a rat or something.

Wei?

I think he found something.

Come on.

Wei.

Where is he?

F*** you!

Motherf***er!

Stay away.

Don't be a coward.

You can save your wife

by offering yourself.

- You crazy motherf***er.

- It's the only way to save her.

- Why won't you do the honorable thing?

- Are you crazy?

Okay. All right,

let's go, baby.

- No. We have to stop.

- What?

We've got to stop.

- What?

- This is killing me.

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