Soaked in Bleach Page #3

mentioned that she thought

Kurt might be having an

affair with Kristen Pfaff,

Her bass player.

She was very jealous, and

she also felt like he might

Be having an affair with Caitlin.

His drug dealer.

If Kurt's in Seattle, he's with her.

She seemed to be very jealous of anybody

That got near Kurt, and wanted

to know every little move

That he made.

So I planted a story

in the news yesterday,

Saying that I had OD'ed and

that I was in the hospital,

Thinking that Kurt would

get scared and call me.

I dunno, it's like...

I've got this record

coming out in a week,

And so I know the value of

this, but I didn't think about it

When it first happened, but

Anyway, what do I tell this

guy from the Associated Press?

Should I call and confirm

it, and so the story goes out,

And say I was there?

I tell you what, and this

is just my gut instinct

Yeah.

That way there's no drugs involved

And the sympathy goes to me.

The press always perceives

me as just completely

Tragic and f***ed up

anyway, so I don't know.

Thank you very much,

that's a lot of information,

And we'll go do our job.

We were already convinced

that Tom was sincere,

That he believed what he was saying.

He certainly wasn't lying.

He brought us into

this office with a safe,

Opened the safe, and there was

this trove of cassette tapes,

Just hours and hours of tapes.

And then he starts playing us the tapes.

And the facts were there.

She's just, coming

across as very controlling

And very angry.

Something was going on

that was outta the ordinary,

And there was more to this

than what I was being told.

I called Seattle Police,

Filed a missing person's report.

Did they ask when you were comin' back?

She filed it in the

name of Wendy O'Connor,

Kurt Cobain's mother.

If I filed it under my own name.

So all the media that

went out after that

That said Kurt's mother filed

a missing person's report

Was totally false.

On April 4th, Kurt Cobain's

mother, Wendy O'Connor,

Filed a missing person's

report on her son

Because he reportedly fled a

Quote end quote, "facility. "

She did not clarify whether

that was a drug treatment center

Or not, but that's what

people are speculating.

She was worried about Kurt

because he had a shotgun

In his possession.

She considered him suicidal.

That should get things going, right?

Right.

What about Caitlin?

I know that they're together.

I've got someone watching her apartment.

He hasn't showed up.

I wanna put someone on your house too,

Because sooner or later

he's gonna come home.

But if Kurt's still in Seattle,

He's hiding out, he's

not gonna be at the house.

He likes to stay in hotels,

fancy hotels downtown.

He uses the name Simon Richie.

Mm, mm, or Bill Bailey.

You should check that out.

The next day, on Monday,

when we hadn't had

Any success with the really

nice hotels in Seattle,

We began calling some of

the other smaller motels,

And we located a motel, and there was a

Bill Bailey registered there.

I wanna send one of our guys over there

To see if it's Kurt.

No no no no no no, I

don't want Kurt to know

That I'm looking for him.

Send somebody over there,

Just have them watch the hotel, okay?

Okay.

I dunno, 15 or 20 minutes went by.

What do you mean you called the hotel?

I thought that you said that

you didn't want Kurt to...

No! I, Tom...

Okay, listen, if he's not there,

Then I think we need to set up a team

At the Lake Washington house.

It's a waste of time, Tom.

You know what, he's not gonna be there.

Is there a reason that

you don't want surveillance

On your house?

Yes, because we don't need it.

Cali's there, he'll

tell me if Kurt shows up.

Earlier in the day in a conversation,

Courtney told me she didn't trust Cali,

And she said he's one of the

best liars she's ever met.

But now, all of a sudden, she tells me

He won't tell anybody.

I'm not as effective for you here

As I would be up there.

I'd like to move the

entire search up to Seattle.

I know I got guys on the

ground there, local guys,

And if I were there I could

move 'em along a little.

That's fine, you can go.

That's great, that's great.

Why don't you go up there, Courtney?

Because I can't!

I have business to take care of here.

Look, I'd appreciate it

if you didn't tell anyone

I was traveling up there.

If anyone knows, they might tell Kurt,

And then he could flee.

Absolutely, I think

it's a really good idea.

Okay, I'm gonna get goin'.

Save the American icon, Tom.

As I was getting ready

to fly to Seattle,

Courtney told me about Dylan Carlson.

Dylan knew all the

hangouts, he knew the house

Really well.

Kurt's best friend was Dylan Carlson.

So what are you

thinkin', is he suicidal?

No, not at all.

He's been under a lotta

pressure but he's been handling

Things pretty good.

I know he and Courtney have been having

A lotta troubles lately, but...

I don't know why Kurt married her.

They don't get along, they

don't agree about anything,

They're always fighting,

that type of thing.

This thing in Rome, did anybody say

That that may have been

him tryin' to kill himself?

No, it was an accident.

Everybody knows that.

I asked him several times

about whether Kurt was

Suicidal or not, and it

was almost a joke to him.

It was like, "No, of course not. "

'Cause I'm thinkin'

if he was as suicidal

As she says he is, why would

she let him buy a shotgun?

He's not suicidal.

We bought that shotgun

the day he went to rehab,

Been a burglary at the house recently.

The police had just

confiscated his other gun,

So I registered it in my name.

Trust me, if he was suicidal,

I would never let him

Get a shotgun.

Singer Courtney Love says

Cobain had first written

A suicide note to her

which said, in part,

"It's not fun for me anymore,

I can't live this life. "

There was a mythology that, "Oh yeah",

"Everybody knew he was suicidal,"

"That was just obvious,"

So it was no big surprise

when he finally killed himself.

And then you go to those closest to him,

The people that knew him best,

And none of them

believed he was suicidal.

I've never heard Kurt talk

about suicide or anything,

He always seemed happy around me.

Quiet, shy, but definitely happy.

Never hinted to me

that he was depressed.

His music and his lyrics

portrayed a darker side

To some of his emotions, but

I think that was glorified.

People start to analyze

the lyrics and look at some

Of the things that he wrote and say,

"Of course, look at what he wrote here. "

"Obviously he's talking about suicide. "

I'm tired of people

thinking, trying to put

Too much meaning into my lyrics.

A lotta times when I

write lyrics, which is

At the last second

'cause I'm really lazy.

And then I find myself having to come up

With explanations for it.

There may be one or two lines

in a song here and there,

But I swear to God,

brother, it's really not

As much as it seems.

The pain in his stomach,

this was a big thing

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