Social Animals

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All right, I

think it's recording.

Wait, I'm not ready yet.

- Just be in the moment.

Just do what we normally

do when we have sex.

What do we normally do?

We just do it.

Ou! - Sh*t,

I'm sorry. - Gosh!

Should I put my

hair up? - Sure.

Maybe we don't have to kiss.

Ow, ow, ow. Hey, ow, ow,

ow, you're pulling my hair.

No, the other hair.

Okay, you're

still f***ing it up.

Jesus, God, don't judge me.

This is very vulnerable.

Okay, we just

need to find a rhythm.

Hey... Ow, ow, hey, you're...

My head's... could

you pull me down?

Here, here.

No, don't French kiss

my neck, just kiss my neck.

I don't think that

this is happening.

Aren't you supposed

to fake it, at least?

Happy?

SOCIAL ANIMALS:

Habits define

exactly who we are.

They exhibit our

personalities, our behavior.

Routines regulate our

efficiency or inefficiency.

One's habits affect

their perception of others

and most importantly,

their perception of themselves.

THIS IS ZOE:

FAVORITE POSITION: Missionary

The receiving partner lies on

his/her back with legs apart,

while the penetrating

partner lies on top.

SHE LOVES POLAROID PICTURES

SHE'S NEVER BEEN IN LOVE

House of Wax

ZOE'S NEW BUSINESS IS FAILING

HER COMPETITION:

LASER TOWN:

NOW OPEN!

VULCAN:

VIDEO:

It's hot as balls here.

Hmm, global warming?

More like just Texas, you know?

You think when you get

married still actually gonna do this?

Or are you gonna like

spawn and join the PTA and sh*t?

Oh, yeah, because

that's totally who I am.

Minivan and all.

THIS IS CLAIRE:

(ZOE'S BFF)

FAVORITE POSITION: Woman on Top

The penetrating partner lies on

her back with the receiving partner on top.

SHE MENAGES LOCAL MUSICIANS

AND SHE'S ENGAGED

TO A REPUBLICAN:

No, but you're a closet-normal

person, for sure. - I agree.

P.S., Lana seems happy...

- Mmm. - In pictures.

In a very, like,

contrived way, of course.

Other people's

happiness disturbs me.

You're a hopeless romantic.

No, I just don't

understand what the big deal is.

Like, the marriage

thing, the baby thing.

It's like, not everybody's

version of normal.

Oh, please, you're

gonna end up with like five.

How long have you known me?

Like a hundred years.

And have I ever once said that I

want to have a baby or a husband?

No, but to be fair, I'm,

like, drunk half the time.

This is just that whole turning

30 drama everybody talks about.

Just let it fall over you like

a warm blanket on a cold day.

I see your blanket,

I twist it, tie it in a knot,

hang myself with it,

and then I address

a note that says,

"This is all your fault."

That's a lot.

Are your eyes gonna

go cross like that, too?

I don't know, I can't really

predict how my eyes will be.

But I'll definitely

stare you down.

Zoe, are you serious?

Oh, hey, Jay, good morning.

You're practically naked out here.

I got kids inside.

You get that, right?

You know what? I can, like, get

a curtain from IKEA or something.

Zoe, as your landlord...

- Whoa, actually, I own my house.

So, you're not my landlord.

Yeah, and I own the

ground that it's parked on.

I own this whole lawn.

But who really

owns the ground?

You are two weeks

behind on rent this month.

I'm so sorry.

I need you to pay

me to use this ground.

Hey, Jay, you know I can

hear the words you're saying.

You don't also have to

act them out with your hands.

Excuse me if my

expressions are intimidating.

Because I need you to pay me.

Yeah, sure, we can

talk about this tomorrow.

You know what? I'm

actually running a little late

to a wedding, so...

- You can pay me tomorrow.

You can hand me an

envelope of money tomorrow,

or you can find a new place

to park your tiny home, okay?

Cool, great.

Wait, does it have to be cash?

This...

could not have

happened to a nicer couple.

No, actually, it

totally could have.

"Really goin" for it.

This is like pornographic.

Oh, Lana, is this it.

Is this it?

Oh, Peter. - Should

I get my head lamp on?

Did she just cum?

- I think the mom did.

Great job!

I just missed it.

All right, thank you to every

one for being here on our big day.

We really appreciate all of you.

But now I'm gonna

need all the single ladies!

Get up here!

Yeah, and it's you.

You're single, Sarah,

by the way. - Now, you go up.

Yeah, but after what

happened at the last wedding,

I'm just tryin' to

mind my P's and Q's.

Uh-oh, I see you.

I see some single ladies

hiding out in the back there!

Zoe...

I know you're single!

Zoe! Zoe! Zoe!

Zoe. Come on up!

Get up here!

I f***in' hate myself.

If anyone gets in

your way, duck and hit.

Last wedding, I got

arrested because I hit somebody,

I didn't duck.

All right, let's do this!

One, two, three.

Sh*t!

No.

- Hold up.

We scheduled this.

It's on the joint calendar.

Okay, well, you know.

Same time next week,

that bell goes off, I'm all yours.

You said that last week.

It's been like three months.

Oh, God, okay, fine.

But can you be quick?

I have a meeting in the morning.

THIS IS PAUL & JANE

FAVORITE POSITION: Spoons

The two partners lie down

on the same side, like spoons.

The man is pressed against the woman's

back and penetrates her from behind.

PAUL OWNS THE VIDEO

STORE ACROSS FROM ZOE'S

JANE IS A VERY SERIOUS LAWER

SHE SUPPORTS THE WHOLE FAMILY

INCLUDING PAUL:

Oh, my God!

The condo's going up next door!

I have reported them multiple

times for working after 9:00...

Just forget about it.

Zone out.

All we need is right here.

Okay. Okay.

I'm zoning out.

Zone it out.

I swear if one more artisanal

cupcake shop goes on our block,

I'm gonna lose

my goddamn mind.

I'm...

I'm sorry, I can't.

I just... I can't.

Maybe you should have an affair.

Reaganomics, higher

taxes, school prayer.

Is this the 2000

Convention? - Yep.

Where did you get this on BluRay?

YouTube, and then I had my

IT guy at work burn it for you.

Honey, just let me

see this one part.

You know, Lana told me that

you don't have a lot of customers.

So I just want to

support another business.

Oh, well, that was

nice of her, I guess.

I actually own Forbidden

fruit down the street.

Oh, the sex shop.

Adult marketplace. Oh.

People have told me they never

quite seen anything like my vagina.

And I choose to take

that as a compliment.

Whoo, I lost my

visor on that one!

That was a good one.

Very satisfying.

Oh, yeah, you

feel good? - Yeah.

I'm just in that state of

mind where I'm like, full bush!

I go out in my

bathing suit like,

I've had a couple

children point at it and say,

"What's that, Mom?"

Oh, my God!

I think I'm dying.

My p*ssy is on fire!

I am gonna titty

punch you! - Okay.

Zoe, do you want to

just come over here

and hold me for a second?

Ms. Crandle, I'm so sorry.

But we're gonna have

to reject your application

for a small-business loan today.

Darn. But I can offer you

one of these

fantastic drink koozies.

Compliments of the bank.

Oh, great, yes.

Because the drink koozy

is really gonna take

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