Social Animals Page #2

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the edge off the complete

and total destruction of my life.

Maybe you can

try someplace else?

Maybe you have

some friends or family?

What about...

what about your parents?

CRANDLE:

LYNNE and RAYMOND

ZOE CRANDLE:

DAUGHTER:

If he's cheating on me,

I need to step my game up.

I have been

watching only PornTube,

like, literally all the time.

Oh, I really like

PornTube, you know?

There's something

very Warhol about it.

Yeah, right?

I mean, a babysitter

anal series is like super artsy.

Okay, Claire... why

don't you just end it?

Okay, I found someone.

Someone who's great on paper

and looks good

next to me in pictures.

Someone who wants to marry

me even though I'm, you know,

me and everything.

Right? When you love

someone, you fight for it.

Even if it feels wrong.

It's beautiful, right?

I mean, it will be when

we put it on a dimmer.

Are we looking at

the same thing here?

Don't do this.

Jane, I can't even

walk under it.

I'm gonna smash

into this thing one day.

This thing is set

up for me to lose.

Have you noticed that it's

getting harder and harder

to walk around our house?

Yeah, well, have you noticed,

since we're, you

know, spit-balling here,

that the towels in the

bathroom are always a mess?

No. - You have

a towel thing.

I have a towel thing?

- Yes, you have a towel thing.

The hand towels are always askew

and it drives me up a f***ing wall.

Okay.

Okay, no more

askew towels, got it.

Have you given any thought

to what I said the other night?

What?

- Having an affair.

No.

Maybe I'm not joking.

People do that, right?

They open up the

marriage to save it?

I don't know, maybe

we could be those people.

Yeah, I don't wanna

be those kind of people.

I wanna be the kind of

person that's just for you.

Mmm.

Oh, my God!

Don't f*** him, he's a client.

ZOE'S MAIL

ZOE!

If I don't have the rent

by freday, this is

your 30 day notice!!!

Tay

Do you want

any help with that?

No, I think I got it.

Just let me know if it's even.

It's even just pull

it tight, much tighter.

The weather in

Texas changes a lot.

You don't want

anybody to miss this.

How's that?

Ah, perfect.

It's a little on the nose.

GOING OUT OF BUSINESS

Yeah, I was going

for simple and sad.

Oh, well, I think you nailed it.

- Yeah, I feel good about it.

You want to come in?

I mean, if you're open.

We're open now.

I can't believe

this place is closing.

You know, I love Paul's Picks?

Paul does have exquisite taste.

You're Paul, aren't you?

- Paul, nice to meet you.

Hi, I'm Zoe.

- Hi, Zoe.

So are these alphabetized or...

- I sort of have my own system going.

I've seen pretty

much every film here.

So it forces people

to ask me questions.

Which is nice,

because I get a little lonely.

Well, not to

sound like a stalker.

But I saw you all alone

at Lana's super boring wedding.

Yeah, I was with my wife.

She was in the Delta

Gamma thing with her.

Were you in that?

No, no, I'm not a joiner.

I majored in

ass-sitting college,

and by college, I

mean, I did not go.

Hmm. I did.

Majored in philosophy.

Hmm. - And now

I have all of this.

For not that much longer.

Hey, don't be

so hard on yourself.

It's not your fault,

it's the economy

and you know all

that crap I fall asleep to

while listening

to CNN. - Mmm.

Well, I got a few

more months on my lease.

I figure, why not

revel in my failure?

That's a good plan, Paul.

I do that, like, all the time.

So, welcome to the club.

Thanks.

I own the waxing

business across the street.

So if you ever need any

detail work on your bikini line...

Yeah, I might take

you up on that.

Cool. - It's a

mess down there.

Well, it was nice

to meet you, Paul.

You, too, Zoe.

- So, I'll see you later.

F***, who put that there?

I did.

- There.

Bye, Zoe.

Bye, Paul.

HILLSIDE FARMACY

So how do you know

that Jim's gonna be here?

I've traced all of his credit

card receipts back to this place,

he's here every Tuesday at noon.

You're such a

psychopath. - Whatever.

Oh, my God.

I see him, I see him,

Oh, my God, was he with

anyone? - I don't know, I panicked.

We need to get closer.

You know some people go

to lunch just to have lunch?

Well, we're not some people

and I need you to walk by.

I don't want to.

Zoe, I need you to walk by.

To-go containers.

You ready to go?

Wanna get a drink?

It's noon, I have to work.

So?

He's not cheating on me, right?

No.

- No, right?

No way.

I mean, there aren't

even enough hours in the day.

Yeah, who has the time for that?

You know what I realized?

I want to find a soulmate.

But my house is only

big enough for one person.

Hmm. - Unless they

get on top of me.

So then, I guess, like, you

can fit more people in there

if somebody gets on top of them.

And you could just,

like, keep stacking people.

So, the ceiling's the limit.

Unless you built

a sunroof. - Yeah.

Okay, so he's definitely

not cheating on me, right?

I have nothing to worry about.

Not a thing to worry about.

- Definitely not. - Uh-uh.

I mean, unless he is.

So, we're seriously doing this?

We're going through

your fiance's trash

in the middle of the night?

Okay, when a man enters you,

you have a right to his garbage.

You know what? I'm going in.

What? No.

No, that's breaking

and entering.

I'm not breaking,

I'm just entering.

Wait, Claire!

Claire!

Claire!

Why are we

searching the kitchen?

Because it is the last place

anyone would think to look.

I don't know, clean

people don't cheat.

His maid comes twice a week.

Maybe he's f***ing her.

Hey, that'd be kinda brilliant.

She could just clean up afterward.

Ugh, that's not funny.

Wait, are you

sniffing his clothes?

Well, if I don't sniff for vanilla

musk and scan for body glitter,

how do I know if he's

been to a strip club?

I'll allow it.

- Thank you.

Oh, things just got... weird.

Oh, my God, Zoe,

take off the mask.

Zoe, take off the mask!

Zoe, take off the f***ing mask!

Oh, my God.

Oh.

All right, Nate. Nate, stop.

Stop. Stay.

Look, buddy, it

would be so awesome

if you would just

stop the dog thing.

Because you're

not a dog, Nathan.

You're a kid, and

you're a great kid.

So, what do you say?

Stand up and walk

on your own two feet?

He bit me, dude.

I know, but he's so cute.

We make awesome kids.

I mean, they're weird

as sh*t, but awesome.

So, listen, I was thinking...

The affair thing,

is that still a go?

Yeah, totally.

Should I let you know when...

- No, I don't want to

hear details or anything.

Cool.

Hey, guys...

Not in the street. Hey,

hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

Get your brother.

Just stop him.

Come here.

Come here, boy.

Whoa, wax your bush.

Wax your bush.

Try out the wax

studio, right there.

Hello, your wife looks

like she needs a wax.

Sir, sir, sorry.

It's a little...

You wanna wax your bush?

Wax your bush.

Wax your bush.

Wax your bush.

Thank you. Wait, hey!

Hey, Zoe.

Hey this is not working. I

am f***ed right now, Claire.

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