Solitary Man Page #3

of you, dont worry.

Ill show you, Ill

show you the ropes.

Sorry were late. I

tried to call you on the,

uh, cell phone. Uh,

couldnt get an answer.

No problem. This is Ted.

He gave the tour.

Ted Loof.

Right.

I was telling Allyson she should

come by the house tonight.

Were having a party, uh,

figured itd give a good idea of

the social culture we

have here on campus.

Oh. Great. Great. That sounds like,

uh, it sounds like fun.

I told you those girls

were not gonna show up here.

Well, what does it matter? Huh?

I mean, look, look

at that one, huh?

And, and this one over here. Well,

were mixin, man.

We re, were in here mixing.

No. Well, were standing by a keg

pouring for, pouring.

And I know you wanna be

right over there, dont you?

No.

No, no, no, no, your

eyes are wandering over there.

Go on. Go on over

and talk to her.

No, she...

Shes not the kind of person

you'd go up to at a party,

all right? Shes serious.

Shes studious.

Shes here, isnt she? Shes

got a drink in her hand.

Yeah, because her

brother is a member of the

house, nobody hooks up with her.

If youre not gonna go

over there and see her

then Im gonna tell

you a story. Okay.

Now, this is a little

raw, but its all true

so Im gonna have to ask

for your indulgence, okay?

All right, granted.

My first year,

when I was here

I wasnt exactly what youd

call one of the elite.

I mean, I never would have

been invited to a place,

uh, like this. Uh, I

actually had a job.

I was working my

way through school.

Yeah, me too.

No, I know. I sa, I

saw your wardrobe.

Um, so I wasnt exactly what

youd call, uh, an innocent

but I was intimidated by a

lot of what I saw, you know.

Especially the girls.

So, there was this one girl who

sat in front of me in, uh

English Composition. Her name was

Jennifer Angel. Really.

And every day Id stare at

the back of this girls neck.

And once in awhile, you know,

shed turn her head and I could

see her face. And she

was beautiful, you know.

She was so smart and clean and,

Cheston, I wanted her in the

worst way possible. But I couldnt

figure it out. I just

couldnt screw up the courage,

you know, to ask her out.

To me, she was like,

uh, an untouchable.

Yeah. Untouchable.

Yeah.

So, anyway, a few days

later, uh, Im working.

Im tending bar, you know,

at some college event.

And this prickass member

of the squash team

he comes up and he asks me

for a jack because his back is

hurting. So I said,

what happened?

And he says to me,

Jennifer Angel.

I said, how?

And Cheston,

his answer was like a Joe

Frazier left right to the belly.

He says, Im f***ing

her, right, hard.

And shes begging me to

go harder and harder.

Finally, Im banging her so

f***ing hard my bed breaks and

it falls down and I twist my back.

Jesus Christ.

So, I mean, I lost my breath,

right there in front of the guy,

you know. I blushed and

Im not the kind of guy

that gets embarrassed.

But you know what?

It was the best thing

that ever happened to me.

Knowing how she liked it

and that she liked it freed

me up to talk with her.

And the next week it was my

bed that was almost broken.

We close

in five minutes,

so if you want anything,

its to go.

Used to be Id come in

Jimmy Marinos joint,

I could stay in here all night.

Well, thats when my

father ran the place.

Jimmy senior must have

liked you for some reason.

Some reason could have been

that I saved your ass in

every math class you ever took?

Oh, I seem to remember the

asssaving, but I was doing it.

Maybe not in class.

Yeah, I think

you're right. Yeah.

Yeah...

you know, I called you when

you got in all that trouble.

But I couldnt get

past your secretary.

Oh, you know, she

had her orders.

But I, I got the message. I

appreciated it, Jimmy. I...

well, I didnt expect a

call back. I just, uh,

I just figured I wanted you to know

that I called you.

No, no, I knew. And I hope

that you understand.

No, its important that I tell

you this because, uh, there were

a lot of unreturned phone calls

and Im sorry about that.

If it was anybody I wanted

to see in this town,

it would have been you,

you know, when I was gone.

Yeah, you always said

youd never come back.

Yeah.

And like you always

said, Id never leave.

Well, you, yeah, you got

the, uh, the place here.

Yeah.

And now youre here.

Now Im here.

Is there something you need?

Can I get a sandwich to stay?

The usual?

Yeah.

Give me the usual after

thirty-five years, yeah.

The usual.

Ok, I gotta do this, but I

gotta make it without hair.

Okay?

Looks good though.

Looks good.

You??

Really?

Lacrosse has been

my passion lately. And, uh

coach says to me, you know,

I want you to play defense.

Yeah.

Yeah, so I

told the Lacrosse coach

I played

attack in junior high.

I was all county

attack in high school.

And theres no way that

Im playing defense.

So youre playing

in the front line now or?

No, no, no..

He cut me.

But thats not the

point of the story.

The point of the story is

that I stood up for myself.

I went after what I wanted.

And, uh, you know,

thats what I always do.

I see what I want and

I take a run at it.

Are you regaling

her, young man?

It sure sounds like it.

Allyson?

Yeah, you look regaled.

Stories of what?

Glory.

Or its punitive

compatriot, noble failure.

Now, I say punitive

because, you know, and this,

this comes from a man

whos failed in

starburst colors.

There is nothing noble in failure.

Dont you agree, Tom?

Ted.

Ted.

Ted.

My parents named me after

Theodore Roosevelt and, uh,

it was he that said

"Its not the critic that

counts, but the man who fails

while daring greatly."

But, yeah, he, he succeeded.

I mean, thats why we know the

quote and he became president.

He bumped up against failure,

but he became a success.

Thats not quite what I gleamed

from your Lacrosse story.

Can I

get you anything?

Hi. Can I get a Dewars

on the rocks, please?

Sure.

Im gonna go to the bathroom.

Ill be right back.

Well, he, he seemed like one

thing, you know, on campus,

turns out hes something else.

Well hes not from the city.

I think hes cute.

Why? You gonna stop me?

No, no. I m not stopping you.

You go ahead.

Do whatever you want.

You going to report

it in to my mother?

I told you that I

wouldnt, Allyson.

I dont even care

what she thinks.

I care what you think.

What do you think?

Well, I think its

a waste of time.

I think youre gonna

put in a lot of effort

with very little reward.

Well, you, you mean

up in the room?

I dont think I gotta

draw a map for you.

I mean, a guy like that with a,

um, girl who looks like you.

Hes gonna go simple.

Hes gonna get up there.

Hes gonna go through the process.

And hes gonna, whrip, you

know, hes gonna be gone.

And then what are you gonna

get out of the transaction?

Transaction?

Uh-huh.

I mean, thats what

it is, isnt it?

I mean, I know, I know

what hes gonna get.

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