Some Days Are Better Than Others Page #5

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dating.

- Yeah? I thought,

ah,

there must be a lot

of nice ladies at the

senior center.

Who would love to

be your dance partner.

- I've loved two...

two amazing women

in my life

I outlived both

of them.

I can't go through

that again.

- I'm sorry man,

I was just..

I guess I was kidding

or something...

- No, its okay.

- You know, when my

grandpa died

I was so worried

about my grandma.

Just... scared that

she would be alone

and lonely... and sad

for the rest of her life.

You know?

And then you

came along and

you were so

good to her.

I mean, you

picked her up.

And made her so happy

you really took

care of her.

- You know I've just

always wanted to

thank you for that.

- It was good

for both of us.

- We'd, we'd both been

through the same

thing and...

well we

we helped each

other get over it.

- Yeah.

- Hi, I'm Katrina

Collins - I got this

letter in the mail.

Is this where

I'm supposed to be?

- Yeah, this is the place.

Just get in line

over there.

- Hello? Yes, hi.

I'm sorry to

bother you.

I'm calling to find

out if anyone

at this number knew,

or was related to,

Kelly Ann Langston.

Kelly... Ann... Langston

I'm calling to see if

anyone at this number

may have known her.

No, no, its okay.

I'm sorry to bother

you...

Thank you...

- The question, I know

that each and everyone

of you is asking

yourself right now is...

Do I have what

it takes

to be on

reality television?

Well, I'm here

to tell you

that the answer...

is yes!

Okay?

Yes to you...

Yeah, yes to you...

Yes to all of you.

See, because the very

fact that you're here

right now means that

you've passed

the first test, which is...

Does this person

have the motivation

to do it?

I know - there's a lot

of people out there

they talk and

they talk

about doing it, alright?

But you got out

of bed this

morning and stood up

and said

I am going to do it!

Right? Okay, so why

why don't you say

that to me right now?

"I am going to do it!"

- I am going to do it!

'Again!

- I am going to do it!

- Huh?

- I am going to do it!

- OK.

So now does anyone

else have any more

questions about motivation?

[Chuckles]

I didn't think so.

OK, so now we know

we have the motivation

But now...

How do we know

if we have that

special something?

That certain thing

that reality TV.

show directors

are looking for.

That's what we're here

to talk about, today.

That

is why Talent Services America

is here, in Beaverton Oregon.

OK?

OK, did everyone bring

their headshots

and audition videos?

I hope so, OK?

Because we're going to

be looking at those

and we're going

to be going over

the detailed specifics

about how you can

present yourself

in ways that you

never thought possible.

OK?

[Music From Instructional

Video Begins Playing]

- I like traveling,

SCUBA diving, volleyball,

and pretty much all

sons of adventure.

So please consider me

for your reality T.V. show.

Because I won't let you down!

Chrissie...

that

W8.S

excellent.

OK?

You looked great.

I really felt like I

got to know you

and

you're clearly a natural.

The camerawork was

a little bit shaky

but that's nothing

we can't fix.

OK?

But what I'd

really like to know

is what would

happen if one of our

Hollywood makeup artists

got their hands on you.

OK?

Don't get me wrong,

you look great.

But.

Like I was telling

Tina earlier,

video cameras can

be very unforgiving

OK? That's why it's

important that we

have a professional

makeup artist

IO GVGFI OUl "16 SCOTS.

OK? But excellent,

excellent work.

- Thank you so much.

Making the video

was so much fun.

It was like I was keeping

a diary, or something.

- Yeah.

Yeah, well, you

really revealed yourself.

OK? That's tough.

I should know.

Really, really good work.

So, who do we have next?

[Clears Throat]

Katrina Collins?

Katrina, where you at?

Oh, OK...

Well, let's see what

you've got for us.

- Hi. My name is

Katrina Collins.

I live in Port

- We'll just skip

through the intro

since we're

pressed for time.

- Gored out why

I want to be on

a reality T. V.

show so badly.

At first I thought

it would just be fun

like this big adventure

I could go on,

and my friends could watch.

And now it's different

Reading Brian's email

is like watching him

on reality T.V.

I think I want him to

see me in the same way.

I want him to see

me moving on

and having fun.

- What's that on her head?

[Crowd laughs]

- And maybe I want

him to be jealous.

I don't know.

I don't want him to

completely forget about me.

OK.

Here is an example

of a video that

is very heartfelt,

but might not be

best suited for

an audition tape.

Katrina,

I'd really like to see what

you could come up with,

with one of our

professional

videographers.

We really want

to figure out

what you're all about.

OK?

Like, what drives Katrina?

Alright?

Plus I think you could

use a little bit of help

with makeup and wardrobe,

just to bring out

your inner beauty. OK?

But uhh, I love the

crazy bear hat

that you were wearing,

though.

I mean, where on Earth

did you find that, huh?

[Laughs to himself]

[Makes growling noises]

OK, now we're getting

close to lunchtime

so what I want to do

now is share with you

some information about

becoming a member

of our team.

And I also want to talk

to you about

a special deal that

you won't find listed

on these sheets.

We decided that, today

only, we're going to

offer a special deal

that includes our

full representation

package,

with headshots and

video audition tape,

all for the phenomenally

ridiculous price of

One hundred and

ninety nine dollars.

OK. We take all major

credit cards

and we get

started today.

Yeah.

- Are we going to

actually audition for

any shows today?

- That's the

beauty of it.

When you sign

up with us

you're actually

auditioning for

several shows at once.

OK?

And I personally make sure

that your information

is put in front of the

top casting directors

in the business

- But we have to

pay for this stuff first?

- Well, think about it

like you're making

an investment

in your future.

Kind of like

going to college.

OK. So once you

fill out your forms

give them back

to us,

and then we're going

to break for lunch.

Be back here by

one o'clock.

There is a fantastic

food court outside.

And I think there's a

meatball sandwich

in my future.

I can smell

my name on it.

- Hey, look.

Is that woman,

is that woman

spreading ashes?

She is, look.

- Yeah.

That's how I

want to go.

Just spread my

ashes on the water.

Matter of fact, this

would be a good place.

- Now Otis, you can't

go dying on me.

Who's car would

I borrow?

- Well it won't be

too long, Eli.

What are you

talking about?

You're doing great.

What, you're only 84.

I bet you'll live to be

Oh God, I hope not.

I don't want to be 100.

You know I've seen

a lot of things in my life

and met a lot of people

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