Some Freaks Page #2

- Yeah.

- Great.

We can be friends again,

take a seat.

So how long have you known...

You know what?

This isn't really

doing it for me.

You wanna get out of here

and eat someplace else?

- Sure.

I'll call Elmo.

- Okay.

Where are we?

- Yeah, where the f***

are we going man, come on.

- No, it's going,

we're going to this

cool cafe, bar,

diner type, I don't

know what it is,

but there is a bar

inside, we don't have to be 21.

I used to go there all

the time with my sister,

they've got great food,

great corned beef hash.

I mean they have salads and

stuff too, so you're all set.

- Dude, did you

just call me fat?

- What?

- What the f*** dude?

- No, 'cause in class

you said that thing

about being a vegetarian,

so I just thought...

No no no no, hey, I didn't...

- You're an insensitive

motherf***er.

- I didn't mean anything by it.

Hey, hey, I'm really, goddammit.

- Why don't you go

for a walk, okay?

Take a minute.

- I, I wasn't trying...

- Why don't you just tell her

to go on a diet

or something, huh?

- I didn't mean, that's not what

I meant at all, goddammit.

- What if she said something

about your eye, huh?

What if she said

something about your eye?

Would you be okay with that?

- I don't care, ooooh sh*t.

- We got you!

- Nice!

- That was so good!

I wish you've could've

seen your face.

- Oh yeah, that was good.

- Did you see his face?

You literally looked

like I was about to shoot

your f***ing puppy, man.

- That's not f***ing funny.

- Come on, I was just

f***ing with you, dude!

Do I look like a salad

type of girl to you?

I have my own f***ing

zip code, man.

- I don't know.

- Oh, that reminds me of a joke.

What do fat women and

mopeds have in common?

- Elmo already

told me that joke.

- Oh f*** you,

you f***ing thief.

- What do you mean f***ing

thief, it's a good joke.

- No, it's a shitty goddamn

joke, but it's my joke.

- You can't take ownership of

a joke, it's everyone's joke.

- Whatever.

- That's how jokes work.

- So what about you then?

I think it's gonna be great.

- Can you get behind that?

- Just, I don't have

road rage, okay?

People that have road

rage do things that

are unnecessary, I yell

when it's necessary.

- Yeah, I'm telling

you you still have to

be the bigger person

in that situation.

- Be the bigger, have

you looked at me?

I'm never the bigger person.

- Never, I've known him

for a very long time.

- Okay, all right, all right.

Oh sh*t, I gotta go.

Look out, look out.

- What are you doing?

- My mother just

texted me, I gotta go.

I forgot, I promised her.

- Where are you going?

- I gotta go make

lobster triangles

with her for some benefit.

- Lobster triangles?

- Kids with AIDS

thing, whatever.

Hey, can you drive him home?

- Yeah, I can.

- Great, okay cool, I'll

see you guys later, bye.

- See ya.

I'm about, oh.

- He's funny.

- Yeah.

- Can I have a drag?

- Sure.

Nice place.

- Yeah, it's okay.

- Just saying.

So...

- What?

I got so much homework to do.

- Huh?

- Got that calc test tomorrow.

- Right, calc test.

- But thanks for the ride.

- Yeah, sure.

- Goodbye.

- Bye.

- Hey.

- Shh shh.

You weaselly motherf***er.

- Did you have your

book club tonight?

- Yeah, where were you?

You were supposed to

watch him, I got home at

the end of a double

expecting to drop him off.

- Yeah, I know, I'm sorry.

- God, this kid came in

right at the end of my shift.

Decided to blow his head off

with his father's shotgun.

Chickened out at the

last minute trying

to split the

difference and instead

lost his jaw, it's

a f***ing mess.

- I know, I'm so sorry,

just some stuff came up.

Did you end up

skipping the meeting?

- Nah, I took him.

Screamed his head

off half the night,

but it was a horror

novel, so whatever.

- Yeah, how was it?

- Oh are you kidding me?

It was sh*t, they're all sh*t,

but whatever, they're fun.

- Good.

Hey, can I ask you

something, and just

promise not to...

- You shut up.

What?

Shut up, what?

- Make fun of me or whatever?

- Come on, when I have

I ever made fun of you?

- Like all the time?

- Right, but lovingly.

So what is it?

What's the question?

Hello!

- Okay, it's stupid, no, just,

sorry, forget it, never mind.

All right, how...

How do you tell if

a girl likes you?

- So basically they

just go over the lake

and then I just shoot

them with my twin gauge.

- I'm kinda scared

of you right now.

- Oh my gosh!

- I'm just saying, I'm

just saying, it's like...

- Oh come on, it's really fun.

It's like basically just...

- I kinda wanna, oh!

- Whoa, what the f***?

Watch where you're

going, you fat...

- I'm sorry, do you have

something you wanna say to me?

- No, it's too easy.

You have a beautiful day.

- Sorry about that,

I don't know what's

going on, they're not

normally like that.

- Yeah, I'm pretty

sure they are.

- Oh hey, I see

someone's in AP English.

I love this book,

have you actually got

to the part where Sally

tells Phillip that

she's pregnant right

before he's about to...

- Thanks for your help!

- Ow!

- Hey.

- F***.

- What's going on?

- Nothing, just waiting.

- Yeah, for Jill?

- No.

- Really, 'cause it's

her car right here.

I mean well it's my mom's

car, but she's borrowing it.

- Is it?

- Yeah, yeah.

Didn't she give you

a ride last night?

- Oh yeah, yeah, no, she did.

- That's kinda weird,

you don't remember the...

- I guess I forgot.

- Forgot, that's seems weird.

Anyway, check this out.

Folks are going

to Norway on a bit

of a buying trip, but

what the hell, might as

well throw a

while they're down there.

- Oh.

Neat.

When is it?

- Next month, during the

regular prom-type prom.

- Okay.

- Yeah, I talked to

Tonic, we're gonna

get three kegs, have

some pizza, dance around,

play some games that don't suck,

whatever, yeah,

should be a pretty

good time, but you should come.

What am I saying,

of course you're

gonna come, what else

do you have to do?

Sit around your house having

no depth perception or whatever?

- Come on.

- Hey, how far's my hand?

How far's my hand?

- Stop it.

- How far's my hand?

- F*** you, man.

- Anyway, I'm

gonna go to Kinko's

and make some copies, and I need

you to come with me, all right?

So let's go, let's go, come on.

- Hey, I really can't...

- Oh hey, what's going on?

- What's happening?

- Trying to get one-eyed willy

here to go to

Kinko's for copies.

- Mmm-mmm, sorry.

Did you tell him

about our project?

- What?

- What project?

- Wait, you really didn't tell?

We, this is so funny.

Yeah, no, we have a thing.

We have to go to the beach and

collect 20 different types of

shells for this

thing or whatever.

Yeah, but you didn't tell him?

- You have to go to the beach to

collect shells in the winter?

- I know, right?

What the hell is wrong with

the teachers here, right?

We're all of a sudden

in the third grade, man?

It's like no, you won't

weasel out of this,

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