Some Guy Who Kills People Page #2

and he had over 200 bucks on him.

- This one has no head, Ernie.

- I know, sir.

- Most bodies have heads.

- Absolutely.

Where's this one's head?

- Not sure yet, sir.

- Oh, we should find this head.

Good idea, sir.

You don't just cut off a man's head

unless you're one angry fella.

- Found the head, sir.

- Bring it on over.

See? Now that's funny.

You got what you deserved.

Deputy Dobkins?

Sheriff, reporter from the Gazette's on line 1.

Hey, there.

- Still no press, sir?

- You heard the mayor. No press, no panic.

We're gonna find the bastard, Ernie.

We're gonna find him.

We're gonna tear his skin off.

Make him wear his own skin.

Found a second body the other day.

- Really?

- Yeah, indeedy.

Did you know Wade Hutchinson?

You went to school together, didn't you?

He says, "Yes."

Well, somebody did ol' Wade in good.

"Decapitato".

Big ol' messy mess.

But you gotta do me a favor, you gotta keep this on

the DL because anything this grisly gets let out,

we're gonna have a shitstorm on our hands.

Sure thing, sheriff.

I'm done.

Good kid. Not gonna win any Christmas contest,

but good kid.

Well, he got him with one bold stroke.

Clean off. Machete?

I don't know, maybe a samurai sword?

That'll be cool.

It's like his eyes follow you.

I think, uh...

you may also be interested in this.

Why does he have a "tepee" carved into his chest?

Tepee?

I'm thinking it's a "V".

- Why do you let Fooger push you around?

- I like this job.I don't wanna cause any problems.

Don't you see that is the

f***ing problem right there?

I used to look forward to taking out the trash.

- Yeah, right.

- In the loony bin.

We used to have to...

We used to have to take the trash out...

to the loading dock, and there was this mural...

of a jungle...

that was drawn by some patients a long time ago.

It's hidden behind the dumpster.

Hardly anybody knew it was there.

But if you moved the dumpster just a little bit.

And because the sun never touched it,

it was still this...

beautiful burst of color.

So a finger painting done by a bunch of

schizophrenics. Is that what got you going?

That hospital turned you into a zombie, Ken.

You had no business even being there.

Especially with all the people running around

this world with the freedom they don't deserve.

C'mon, man, it's a f***ing joke.

All right, let's get the f*** outta here.

You checked the till?

Checked the till. Yeah. I... yup... I...

I scrubbed the sink. I washed the scoopers.

Forgot to lock the door.

- Hey, there.

- Hey.

Sorry, we're closed.

He just forgot to lock the door.

Want me to get anything for you?

Okay, well then, we're closed.

I just want to say thanks for the music box.

My mom told me you gave it to me.

But she didn't want me to know,

because she didn't want me to know about you.

Amy?

Yeah.

So... I guess I'm just saying thanks.

You're welcome.

Yeah.

I guess... Have a good night.

- Yeah, you too.

- Thanks.

You're a really good ice cream cone.

You have a f***ing daughter.

Yeah.

- How old is she?

- 11.

And who's the mama?

Janet Wheeler.

That girl you used to...

used to date for like a week?

You got her pregnant?

I found out after she dumped me.

When I heard, I tracked her down to Clifton.

I took all the money I had and bought an

engagement ring. It was the right thing to do.

So I proposed to her.

She didn't want anything to do with me. She said

it was better if... Pretend I just didn't exist.

Couldn't really argue.

So that's when you...

Hi, dad.

Oh, right. I knew there was something.

- Your daughter is here.

- Yes. I noticed.

She showed up about an hour ago,

so I already went through the whole...

- being surprised thing.

- You just let her walk in here?

I made her tackle a series

of obstacles but she passed.

Were you ever gonna tell me about this?

- I don't want to get into this, ma.

- Seems a little late for that.

Now, go in there and say, "Hello",

like a normal human being.

I don't know anything about her.

She's 11, talkative, unlike yourself,

and she tears your batch of banana

bread like a little gremlin.

She can't stay here.

She's staying,

but you could leave.

Turn around. Turn around.

- Go! Go! Can you say, "Hello?" "Hello."

- I don't...

Just say, "Hello." "Hello." Can you say, "Hello?"

Hello, she's your daughter.

That's my boy.

- So she just showed up at your house?

- Yeah.

That's great, Ken.

It's not great.

I don't know... I've no idea what to do.

Get your f***ing life back on track.

All right.

You're 34 and you work in an ice cream parlor.

You work in an ice cream parlor.

Yeah, but I'm a f***ing loser, Ken. All right.

But you? You once had spirit, ambition.

- You're not a loser.

- Man, I wish you weren't so f***ing wrong.

You know, when you were gone.

I tried to do a couple of different things.

I was a newspaper delivery guy, a garbageman.

I even removed snow.

Sh*t, I even tried to be a cop.

But the sheriff,

he pretty much laughed in my face.

- You wanted be a cop?

- Look, whatever.

That's not the point.

The point is, that girl, she's your daughter.

You have a right to be with her.

Yeah, but it's just not a good time right now.

C'mon, man, you said it yourself.

That chick, Janet, she wants you to fail.

So, why not instead of hanging around here,

you go home and you make an effort.

If not for yourself, do it for me.

Please?

Hi.

Hello.

Where'd my dad go?

I try not to make a habit of caring.

Gotta be kinda weird for him, you know.

I mean, one second he's doing his own thing,

and I show up.

Know what I'm saying, grandma?

Call me Ruth.

Grandma makes me sound old.

Ruth makes you sound old.

I like you.

Let's talk.

Good night.

You like that, motherf***er?

Sh*t.

Morning.

Morning.

Where'd you go last night?

I had... things to do.

Like, what kind of things?

Had to meet a friend.

That's cool.

Hey, just so you know. My mom knows I'm here.

I told her that after 11 years of lying,

she owed me at least a week with you.

- Don't you have school?

- It's Sunday.

Oh, right.

That's right.

So...

If you're 11, that means you're in the 6th grade.

- Really?

- I have a good brain.

Can you believe the way we

just ran into each other?

I mean that's gotta be a sign or something, right?

Like, we were supposed to

meet and spend time together.

Yeah, yeah. Maybe.

Did you want some coffee or something?

No, thanks.

I tried it once and I didn't sleep for like a week.

We've got a lot of catching up to do.

I want to know everything about you.

So what does my dad like to do?

Do you like to fix stuff?

No, not particularly.

Do you like bowling? Are you a good bowler?

I'm pretty sure I'm not.

- Did you know I'm on the basketball team?

- Really?

Yeah, point guard.

- That's cool. You must be... pretty good.

- Yeah.

Actually I'm probably the best one on the team.

I gotta run. Practice. Bye, dad.

Not having a structured daily schedule,

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