Some Guy Who Kills People Page #4

little puppy. And then the two of us married.

Despite knowing absolutely nothing about

one another, which I don't recommend.

So... How is Green Oaks treating you?

Yeah, it's... So far so good.

I am working at a travel agency, which is...

pretty blah.

The other lady there smells like charcoal.

But, you know I'm just using it

to get some cheap trips, and

I'm hoping to fly back to England, and

visit my parents. Eat some humble pie.

Do you like to travel?

- I don't know.

- You don't know.

I've never really traveled.

Ever? Anywhere?

How is that possible?

- Well, I've been away.

- Away?

What? Like prison?

Sorta. Cotton Valley State Hospital.

Is that the... this... like...

A place for crazy people, yeah.

I'll close my eyes,

and give you a chance to leave.

I won't be offended.

My ex was a Harvard-educated pediatrician.

He turned out to be an alcoholic cocksucker

who videotaped me while sleeping,

and cheated on me throughout our sham of a

marriage. I try not to clench up.

It always blows my mind that

people can draw with such detail.

If I drew a stick figure,

with an arrow pointing to it saying "stick figure",

you'd still be like, what did she draw?

This is kind of amazing.

Yup, it's nice.

What do we have here then?

A frustrated artist, or a harsh critic?

No, I leave the art to the artist.

Oh!

No...

I can't believe they made me buy it.

Weird.

- I had a very good time. Thank you.

- Me too.

- I had fun.

- Good.

- Good night then.

- I bought this painting for you.

Oh, lovely. Thank you.

I don't know where I'm going to...

Can you get the door?

Okay, take care.

- Bye now.

- Bye.

- Whatcha doing out here, Kenny?

- Hey, sheriff.

Just a little private time to draw.

Wrap my mind around things.

Yeah, I hear ya.

There's a lot going on these days, huh?

So, drawing helps you, right?

You know, for me, it's chess.

I don't actually play the game but just thinking

about it for some reason relaxes the sh*t out of me

Let me have a look see at that.

C'mon, Kenny, I hear you got real talent.

- Who said that?

- Well, your good buddy, Irv.

I heard him pushing you to do the owl fest.

That guy, you know,

trying to get you to do the brochures,

or the flyers and stuff.

- He did?

- Oh, yeah, yeah. Irv, yeah.

He was pushin ol' Glen really hard, but

apparently Glen's already got a guy.

I'd never seen Irv so worked up,

especially over something that doesn't

really concern him. You want a piece of gum?

- Yeah.

- Here you go.

So...

C'mon, let me have a look at that.

Wait. Look at that.

- That's a thing of beauty, Kenny.

- Really?

I tell ya that you...

You think?

You got an eye on you, kid.

Well... I'll leave you to it.

You have a good one.

I'm not seeing it, Ernie. All I'm seeing are

tire tracks and mud.

Now, you say I'm supposed to be

seeing a hidden image of Jesus here?

No. No, sir. Just the tracks.

These are the tracks that we

picked up at the drive-in movie.

They are made by Yokohama Avid T4s.

But it's a really common tire.

- How common?

- Gary from the Tire Center...

said that he sold that model to hundreds

of customers just in this year alone.

You should go get a list from Gary,

and then...

cross-reference it with Green Oaks High grads.

- Green Oaks High?

- All the victims were from Green Oaks High,

and right now that's the only connection they have.

There you go, Mildred,

an extra scoop of praline on me.

Oh, thank you.

You have a nice day, now.

- Hey, Irv. Could you do me a huge favor?

- Yeah, what's up?

I want to catch the end of Amy's practice.

Will you cover for me?

- Yeah, man. Of course.

- Thanks a lot.

Give me one more and I will pass out.

Wonderful, wonderful.

Keep it moving. Let's hustle.

Nice, nice.

Okay, that's a good sound.

I heard the swish of the best. Nicely done.

Well done. All right, come up. Okay, all right.

You know what? I'm gonna step out.

You guys keep playing around.

Do you wanna be Wheeler?

Do you wanna be Wheeler?

No, you don't wanna be Wheeler.

Keep playing. Keep playing like

you know how to play basketball.

No, I'm just trying to figure out.

Why you're even on the team, Wheeler, when you

know you're not gonna get any playing time?

Yeah, wearing the uniform

doesn't make you a player. All right?

And wearing a purity ring

doesn't make you a virgin.

What did you just say?

Yeah.

Go get it.

Hey!

Next time, why don't you pick

on someone your own si...

Wow. Nice, buddy.

Sorry, I don't mean to be

laughing about your accident.

I... You know...

It's fine. I just...

The next time I see that other car,

It's gonna be a little awkward.

I refuse to drive.

It's something about the steering wheel

that I can't get out of my mind. Like a little

tug here or there, and you've killed someone,

which is just... is too much power for me.

I guess I'll take power wherever I can get it.

You're a dad.

You have all the power in the world.

That's like the world's worst greeting card ever.

Hey, Toots!

Why don't you stop by the surplus store sometime.

Clearly you're into damaged goods.

He's a little wanker, isn't he?

- You know what we should do?

- What?

I think we should buy Amy something.

- Buy her something? Like what?

- I don't know. Use your imagination.

Up for some action?

You know what? I'm pretty exhausted.

Practice was crazy.

- I know.

- You know what?

I know you suck.

I mean, I stopped by at practice to pick you up.

I saw.

Coach needed 8 for a team,

and only 8 showed up for tryouts.

It doesn't matter.

Let's see your form.

C'mon, let's go.

I could teach you that shot if you want.

All right, balance.

Legs shoulder-width apart.

And your knees.

Okay, you hold the ball with this hand.

- And shoot with this hand, okay?

- Okay.

That's good.

Watch me.

Were you on your high school team?

- Not exactly.

- Not exactly?

You going to be all secretive, huh?

- I didn't make the team.

- Hey, an answer! See, now it wasn't so hard?

Shoot.

I think that was actually closer.

It's like some horrible parlor

game I don't understand.

Well, 6 more and we could field a baseball team.

Not the time, sorry.

Where're those yearbooks?

- You going out?

- Yeah, in a few minutes.

- Where are you going?

- Just have to take care of a few things.

So, we have a pretty big game on Thursday and

I'd like you to come. Will you come?

Sure, I'll come.

- And bring Stephanie.

- Yeah?

You like her, don't you?

- Nah.

- You player.

Okay, I'll call her.

Sweet. I'll be the one on the bench.

All right.

- Good night.

- Night.

They're all on the same f***ing team!

- What?

- Yes! Look at that!

Look at that! The Bee, the Black Cat,

- the Map of the U.S.!

- He's picking off the whole team.

There's only one of them who still lives here.

Miller's.

No, we're closed.

We're open at nine. Nine.

Sh*t. F***er!

Who the f***'s out there?

I just cleaned this f***er.

You do not wanna do this.

I was in the Green Berets, a**hole.

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