Some Kind of Beautiful Page #6

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Anymore

I wanna fly...

I packed your toothbrush, your pajamas,

and...

Hey, guys, what's happening?

- Where you going?

- My sleepover!

Oh, yeah! The sleepover,

of course. All right.

Well, give me a kiss and have

a good night. There you go, soldier.

- Cool!

- Have fun, Jakey!

- Let's go.

- Good night.

Enjoy your night off.

Hello?

Oh, there he is! What's up, Rich?

Hi, Richard!

Yeah, great, well done.

Leaving now. Yeah, good.

Sorry about that.

Yeah.

He's a little weird.

- Bye!

- Hey, I'll be back for more?

Bye, babes!

Had to leave early, did he?

Well, he did stay

until he got the job done.

- That was good of him.

- Yeah, he's gonna come back tomorrow

and bring a friend

so we can all do it together.

- The more the merrier.

- For Christ's sake.

We were working,

and then he went surfing, you idiot.

Now where is that bottle of wine?

I could use a drink.

Come on up.

There you go.

- Apology accepted.

- Oh, good.

- To friends.

- To friends.

A bit old for homework, aren't you?

Well, it's never too late to perfect

new ways of boring one's students.

So... must be very excited

to have Tim all over you.

So to speak. About your book.

Well...

tonight he tore me to pieces.

It's hard to be judged by others.

It's very difficult...

to stay true to your own voice

when everybody else

wants you to do something else.

It made me think of Alan.

All the notes that I gave him

through the years.

It must have tortured him.

So it's not all bad, then.

I'll be honest, I always thought

he was an arrogant little sh*t

whose books were vapid and hackneyed.

And all I could ever think about

when I skim-read them...

- was you.

- Me?

You.

Yes.

And what could have been worse?

Being married to him

or editing his schmaltzy drivel?

They both sucked.

Do you know who he's screwing?

My gynecologist.

My gynecologist!

I mean,

I actually thought that he was coming

to our appointments because he cared,

but no, he wanted to see the doctor.

Maybe you're better off without him.

Think about it.

You're smart, you're funny,

you're beautiful, terrible driver, but...

I'm sure you'll find someone

to overlook that.

You're just saying that.

Well, you are smart, you are funny,

and you are very, very beautiful.

- What the hell happened to my car?

- Oh, sh*t.

Oh, my nuts! They said they

weren't coming back until tonight!

- It's a good thing it's a military vehicle.

- Oh, my God!

Okay, okay. To the house. To the house.

- Buenos das, Pedro.

- Buenos das, seora.

Get the keys, sweetie.

Oh, you know what,

I think I left my phone in the car.

- Hi!

- You're naked.

If you're wondering where Jake is,

he's at a sleepover with Josh.

- Why are you naked?

- Richard's sleeping in his house.

- I'm just gonna go and swim.

- Unbelievable.

Hey, how's the lecture coming?

I've passed kidney stones

with greater ease.

Well, don't overthink it.

Just be honest, pithy, simple.

You know something? I think you're the first

woman I've ever really been friends with.

Well, that's a little sad, Richard,

but very touching.

What brought about this sudden

onset of sincerity?

I slept with someone,

and...

it actually meant something.

Well, that's great. Who?

Olivia.

Are you kidding? Richard, why don't you go

down to your Green Card appointment,

take out your samurai sword,

and disembowel yourself?

What is wrong with you?

Are you trying to get deported?

- I mean, Kate is going to kill you!

- Kate's not going to know about it, is she?

I mean, I'm not going to tell her,

and Olivia's not going to tell her.

They are sisters, Richard,

close sisters, and close sisters talk.

You better move.

Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God.

- Kate, hi.

- Hey!

- How's everything? Good?

- Olivia told me everything.

Oh, she did?

I think it's awesome

that she started writing.

And she said you were really nice

to her when I was away.

Oh, wonderful.

You know... I know I've been

kind of a b*tch to you lately.

Oh, that's okay.

Threatening not to come to your green card

meeting was totally out of line. I'm sorry.

Yeah, live and let live,

forgive and forget, all of that.

- We're cool?

- We are so cool.

Okay. Do you want

to get me some lemonade?

- Good idea.

- Thanks.

Okay. Great.

You smoke?

- I can't stop thinking about last night.

- Nor can I.

- We have to tell her.

- No, no, no.

- This is not good timing. Olivia, Olivia.

- Dad?

That's gone to your head. Get back

in the bush. Get behind the bush.

There's a funny old man here

that wants to see you.

What?

Dad, what are you doing here?

Why in buggering hell

have you been ignoring my calls?

Oh, hello, this must be the Yank totty!

Kate, my father.

Oh, my goodness, Mr. Haig!

It's so nice to meet you!

- Sorry, I'm soaking wet.

- I need a shower anyway.

Oh, and who is this other vision

of loveliness?

I'm Olivia. I'm Kate's sister.

Blimey. Bookends.

Well, come inside,

I'll make you up a room.

No, no, no, it's okay. Dad, come with me.

Come to the guesthouse.

- We've got plenty of rooms.

- No, that's okay. Dad, come with me.

- Are you sure?

- You're staying with me. I promise you.

- Nice to meet you!

- You too!

- Why exactly are you here?

- I'm visiting you and the little turd...

- Fella. What's it bloody look like?

- Well, I don't really know. I mean...

Jake, meet your grandfather.

Yeah. I'm your granddad.

I've got something for you

that I brought all the way from England.

Would you like to see it?

Now that is a model of "HMS Defiance."

God, Dad. You never let me

used to touch that.

- What?

- Okay, I'll be right back.

Hey! Wait a minute, where are you going?

You can't bear to be in the same room

with me for two minutes, is that it?

- No, that's not it, Dad, not at all!

- Can I keep it?

Of course you can bloody keep it.

It's yours!

But don't put it in the bath,

because it'll sink.

- Hey, cool!

- Where should we put it? Here?

- On the top!

- Yes, on the top!

Hello, my lovelies.

All I'm asking is, can you wait

till Monday morning at 11:00?

Why?

My green card interview.

After that...

you can...

tell her what you like, okay?

Dad...

- I need to go pee.

- Come on, then.

Hey, where the bloody hell

are you two going? Come on, hey!

- We're going to go for a pee, Dad.

- Come on, whip it out. Come on!

- Dad, you can't pee off the pier.

- Jake, who are you going to listen to?

Your dad, who, for some buggering reason

has turned into a boring old fart,

or your grandfather,

who's lived a rich and full life

and doesn't take shite from anybody?

You! Sorry, Dad.

There you go, come on up here.

There you go. Up you go.

Come on, you too.

If you're still my son, that is.

All right, on three. One, two, three.

Yeah! That's it.

Well, somebody had

their vitamins this morning.

You know, there are coconuts over there!

Great isn't it? There you go.

Beautiful. Oh, dear.

All right, all right, all right.

That's good stuff.

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