Some Like It Hot Page #11

JERRY:

Who are we kidding? Look at that --

look how she moves -- it's like jello

on springs -- they must have some

sort of a built-in motor. I tell you

it's a whole different sex.

JOE:

What are you afraid of? Nobody's

asking you to have a baby. This is

just to get out of town.

The minute we hit Florida, we'll blow this set-up.

JERRY:

This time I'm not going to let you

talk me into something that...

A newsboy approaches along the platform, peddling his papers.

NEWSBOY:

Extra! Extra! Seven Slaughtered in

North Side Garage! Fear Blood

Aftermath!

JERRY:

(to Joe, promptly)

You talked me into it! Come on,

Josephine.

JOE:

Attagirl, Geraldine.

They hurry toward the Pullman car, imitating the jello-on-

springs movement as well as they can.

At the Pullman car, Sue and Bienstock are checking in the

girl musicians as they are boarding.

SUE:

Hi, Mary Lou -- Rosella -- Okay,

Dolores, get a move on -- How's your

back, Olga?

BIENSTOCK:

(checking list)

Clarinet -- drums -- trumpet --

trombone --

Joe and Jerry come mincing up. (NOTE: From here on in, the

two will speak with girls' voices whenever the situation

calls for it.)

JOE:

Well, here we are.

SUE:

You two from the Poliakoff Agency?

JOE:

Yes, we're the new girls.

JERRY:

Brand new.

SUE:

This is our manager, Mr. Bienstock.

I'm Sweet Sue.

JOE:

My name is Josephine.

JERRY:

And I'm Daphne.

This is completely out of left field. Joe throws him a sharp

look. Jerry smiles back brightly.

BIENSTOCK:

(checking list)

Saxophone, bass -- Am I glad to see

you girls. You saved our lives.

JOE:

Likewise, I'm sure.

SUE:

Where did you girls play before?

JERRY:

Oh -- here and there -- and around.

JOE:

We spent three years at the Sheboygan

Conservatory of Music.

From OFF comes the voice of the Conductor: "All aboard!"

BIENSTOCK:

You're in Berths 7 and 7A.

JERRY:

(his idea of a lady)

Thank you ever so.

BIENSTOCK:

You're welcome.

JERRY:

It's entirely mutual.

Joe has already boarded the car. As Jerry starts up the steps,

he stumbles. Bienstock helps him up, with a little pat on

the behind.

BIENSTOCK:

Upsy-daisy.

JERRY:

(coyly)

Fresh!

Joe jerks him up into the vestibule before this nonsense

gets out of hand.

BIENSTOCK:

(takes off glasses,

puts them in pocket)

Looks like Poliakoff came through

with a couple of real ladies.

JOE:

You better tell the other girls to

watch their language.

She and Bienstock mount the steps of the Pullman. The porter

picks up the yellow footstep, hops aboard as the train starts

moving.

INT. PULLMAN CAR - NIGHT

As Joe and Jerry come in from the vestibule, Joe grabs Jerry,

holds him against the baggage rack.

JOE:

(an angry whisper)

DAPHNE?

JERRY:

I never did like the name Geraldine.

As Sue and Bienstock appear from the vestibule, Joe lets go

of Jerry, and they move down the aisle into the Pullman car

proper.

The girl musicians are all there, except for Sugar. They are

removing their coats, settling themselves in their seats,

putting away their instruments and baggage. They are all

blonde, they are young, and most of them are pretty. They

look like a band of angels -- but don't you believe it.

JERRY:

(the good neighbor)

Hello, everybody. I'm the bass fiddle.

Just call me Daphne.

JOE:

I'm Josephine. Sax.

There is a slew of general hellos.

MARY LOU:

Welcome to No Man's Land.

GIRLS:

(in chorus)

You'll be sor-ry!

Rate this script:5.0 / 1 vote