Some Like It Hot Page #17

JERRY:

Manhattans? This time of night?

SUGAR:

(calling after Dolores)

And bring the cocktail shaker.

JERRY:

(disgustedly)

Oh, Sugar. You're going to spoil my

surprise.

Dolores has crossed the aisle, and getting a foot up on Lower

4, reaches up into her berth for the vermouth. The curtains

of Lower 4 open, and Mary Lou sticks her head out.

MARY LOU:

What's up?

DOLORES:

Party in Upper 7.

MARY LOU:

I got some cheese and crackers.

DOLORES:

And get a corkscrew.

Mary Lou gets out of her berth, steps across to Lower 3,

wakes up Rosella.

MARY LOU:

Party in Upper 7. Got a corkscrew?

ROSELLA:

(wide awake)

No. But Stella has.

MARY LOU:

Get some cups.

Rosella hurries toward the water fountain, while Mary Lou

gets Stella and the corkscrew out of bed. Rapidly, the whole

Pullman car springs into action. As silent as mice, the girls

slip out of their berths, armed with various provisions.

Their nighties billowing they scuttle down the aisle and up

the ladder into Upper 7.

In Upper 7, the party is building rapidly, as the mice pile

in with their contributions.

GIRLS:

Here's the vermouth. I brought some

crackers and cheese. Will ten cups

be enough? Can you use a bottle of

Southern Comfort?

Jerry is trying vainly to stem the invasion of gatecrashers.

JERRY:

Please, girls -- this is a private

party -- a party for two -- go away,

no more room -- ssh, the neighbors

downstairs -- you'll wake up Josephine --

please, no crackers in bed -- go

someplace else, form your own party --

be careful with that corkscrew! Sugar --

where are you, Sugar?

Sugar is greeting Olga, who has climbed into the berth

clutching a hot water bottle.

OLGA:

Here's the cocktail shaker.

Sugar starts measuring bourbon and vermouth into it.

GIRLS:

Easy on the vermouth. If we only had

some ice -- Pass the peanut butter.

Anybody for salami?

JERRY:

(desperately)

Thirteen girls in a berth -- that's

bad luck! Twelve of you will have to

get out!... Please, girls, no more

food! I'll have ants in the morning!

In Lower 7, Joe is stirring restlessly, while subdued noises

float down from the party upstairs. The curtains part and

Emily sticks her head in and shakes Joe.

EMILY:

Hey -- you got any maraschino cherries

on you?

JOE:

(half asleep)

Huh?

EMILY:

Never mind.

She disappears. Joe starts to close his eyes, then sits up

with a jolt.

JOE:

Maraschino cherries?

Slowly he becomes aware of the sounds of revelry up above.

His eyes wide as he sees a girl's bare leg through the

curtains. The girl steps on the edge of his berth, hoists

herself into the upper. Joe throws open the curtains, sees

several other pairs of girls' legs dangling down from the

upper, and still more legs climbing up the ladder.

Frantically, Joe jumps out of his birth. He is confronted by

a sight which knocks into a cocked hat the principle that

two bodies cannot occupy the same space at the same time.

In a triumph of engineering, fourteen girls have squeezed

themselves into Upper 7 -- or to be exact, thirteen girls

and Daphne -- not to mention the bourbon, the vermouth, the

Southern Comfort, the paper cups, the corkscrew, the hot

water bottle, the crackers and cheese, and the salami.

There is a seething tangle of arms and legs and blonde heads --

like a snake pit at feeding time.

JOE:

What's going on here?

(trying to find a

needle in the haystack)

Daphne -- Daphne --

JERRY:

(sticking his head

out)

It's not my fault. I didn't invite

them.

JOE:

(pleading)

Break it up, girls! Daphne! Come on,

help me!

He starts to tug at odd arms and legs.

Jerry pulls himself back into the berth.

JERRY:

All right, girls. You heard Josephine.

Everybody out.

Sugar starts to back out of the berth.

JERRY:

Not you, Sugar.

SUGAR:

I'm just going to get some ice.

Joe has slipped on his robe as Sugar comes backing out of

the berth and down the ladder.

JOE:

Out, out! That's right, Sugar. Now

the rest of you.

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