Some Like It Hot Page #27

SUGAR:

-- and always the same Four Hundred.

JOE:

You know, it's amazing we never ran

into each other before. I'm sure I

would have remembered anybody as

attractive as you.

SUGAR:

You're very kind. I'll bet you're

also very gentle -- and helpless --

JOE:

I beg your pardon?

SUGAR:

You see, I have this theory about

men with glasses.

JOE:

What theory?

SUGAR:

Maybe I'll tell you when I know you

a little better. What are you doing

tonight?

JOE:

Tonight?

SUGAR:

I thought you might like to come to

the hotel and hear us play.

JOE:

I'd like to -- but it may be rather

difficult.

SUGAR:

Why?

JOE:

(his eyes on the pail

with the shells)

I only come ashore twice a day --

when the tide goes out.

SUGAR:

Oh?

JOE:

It's on the account of the shells.

That's my hobby.

SUGAR:

You collect shells?

JOE:

(taking a handful of

shells from the pail)

Yes. So did my father and my

grandfather -- we've all had this

passion for shells -- that's why we

named the oil company after it.

SUGAR:

(wide-eyed)

Shell Oil?

JOE:

Please -- no names. Just call me

Junior.

By this time, the ball game is breaking up, and Jerry

approaches Sugar and Joe.

JERRY:

Come on, Sugar -- time to change for

dinner.

SUGAR:

Run along, Daphne -- I'll catch up

with you.

JERRY:

(a casual glance at

Joe)

Okay.

He takes a couple of steps away from them, freezes, comes

back and stares at Joe open-mouthed.

JOE:

What is it, young lady? What are you

staring at?

JERRY:

(points; speechless)

You -- you --

JOE:

(to Sugar)

This happens to me all the time in

public.

SUGAR:

(to Jerry)

I recognized him too -- his picture

was in Vanity Fair.

JERRY:

Vanity Fair?

JOE:

(waving him aside)

Would you mind moving along, please?

SUGAR:

Yes, you're in the way. He's waiting

for a signal from his yacht.

JERRY:

His yacht?

SUGAR:

It sleeps twelve.

(to Joe)

This is my friend Daphne. She's a

Vassar girl.

JERRY:

I'm a what?

SUGAR:

Or was it Bryn Mawr?

JOE:

(to Jerry)

I heard a very sad story about a

girl who went to Bryn Mawr. She

squealed on her roommate, and they

found her strangled with her own

brassiere.

JERRY:

(grimly)

Yes -- you have to be very careful

about picking a roommate.

SUGAR:

Well, I guess I'd better go --

JOE:

It's been delightful meeting you

both.

SUGAR:

And you will come to hear us tonight?

JOE:

If it's at all possible --

JERRY:

Oh, please do come. Don't disappoint

us. It'll be such fun. And bring

your yacht.

SUGAR:

Come on, Daphne.

She leads Jerry away. Joe throws them a casual salute.

As Jerry and Sugar move off, Jerry looks over his shoulder.

JERRY:

Well, I'll be -- ! How about that

guy?

SUGAR:

Now look, Daphne -- hands off -- I

saw him first.

JERRY:

Sugar, dear -- let me give you some

advice. If I were a girl -- and I am --

I'd watch my step.

SUGAR:

If I'd been watching my step, I never

would have met him. Wait till I tell

Josephine.

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