Some Like It Hot Page #45

He grabs Jerry, pulls him out from under the table.

The delegates, who are watching Johnny Paradise scramble out

of the cake, are momentarily off guard as Joe and Jerry streak

across the darkened banquet room toward the pantry door.

BONAPARTE:

Get those two guys!

Four of the officials rush into the pantry after Joe and

Jerry. At the same time, the main door opens, and Mulligan

strides in. Standing in the corridor behind him are several

frightened waiters. Mulligan switches on the lights, looks

down at the five corpses.

MULLIGAN:

What happened here?

BONAPARTE:

(blandly)

There was something in that cake

that didn't agree with them.

Mulligan crosses to the cake, glances inside, then turns to

Little Bonaparte.

MULLIGAN:

My compliments to the chef. And

nobody's leaving this room till I

get the recipe!

BONAPARTE:

You want to make a Federal case out

of it?

MULLIGAN:

(grabs hearing aid,

yells into mike)

Yeah!

INT. LOBBY - NIGHT

Joe and Jerry bolt out of the rear corridor, go pounding up

the stairs, followed by two of the officials. As they

disappear from sight, CAMERA PANS OVER to the elevator. The

door opens, and out step Joe and Jerry, wearing their wigs

and girls' coats.

As the boys mince daintily toward the front door, they see

the other two officials coming toward them. They change their

course abruptly. The first two officials come hurrying down

the stairs.

FIRST OFFICIAL:

They slipped right through our hands.

SECOND OFFICIAL:

Don't worry. We got our guys watching

the railroad station, the roads, the

airport -- they can't get away.

JERRY:

(to Joe, in a hoarse

whisper)

Did you hear that?

JOE:

Yeah, but they're not watching yachts.

Come on -- you're going to call

Osgood.

He steers Jerry toward a row of telephone booths near the

entrance to the ballroom. There is an easel sign outside

announcing that Sweet Sue and her Society Syncopators are

appearing nightly in the Peacock Room, and from inside comes

the SOUND of MUSIC.

JERRY:

What'll I tell him?

JOE:

Tell him you're going to elope with

him.

JERRY:

Elope? But there are laws --

conventions --

JOE:

(jerking his thumb

over his shoulder)

There's a convention, all right.

There's also the ladies' morgue.

He shoves Jerry toward a phone booth. Jerry reaches under

his coat for a coin, revealing the rolled up trousers of the

Bellhop uniform underneath.

As he steps into the phone booth, Joe becomes aware of the

SOUND of sugar's VOICE drifting up from the ballroom. She is

singing "I'M THROUGH WITH LOVE." Almost despite himself, Joe

finds himself drawn toward the ballroom entrance.

INT. BALLROOM - NIGHT

Joe appears in the vestibule at the top of the stairs, looks

down.

From his point of view, we see Sugar perched on top of the

piano, bathed in a spotlight. She is a little drunk, and

more than a little blue, and she is singing the lyrics with

heartbreaking conviction.

Joe, watching her from the landing, is deeply moved.

Slowly, he starts down the steps.

One the bandstand, Sugar is winding up the torchy ballad,

when suddenly Joe steps into the spotlight. Without a word,

he takes her in his arms, kisses her.

SUGAR:

(shocked)

Josephine!!

Nearby, Sweet Sue is watching open-mouthed.

SUE:

(screaming)

BIENSTOCK!

Bienstock, who is standing near the reservation desk, turns

and peer myopically toward the bandstand. At the same time,

two of the convention officials come up behind him.

SECOND OFFICIAL:

(pointing)

Hey -- that's no dame!

He and his companion rush toward the bandstand.

On the bandstand, Joe is brushing a tear away from Sugar's

cheek.

JOE:

(in a male voice)

None of that, Sugar -- no guy is

worth it.

He catches sight of the two officials bearing down on him,

leaping from the bandstand, shoulders his way through the

couples on the dance floor. With the two officials on his

heels, Joe gallops up the stairs.

On the bandstand, all is confusion, as the girls stop playing

and stand up. Sugar is staring after Joe in complete

bewilderment.

SUGAR:

Josephine???

Suddenly it dawns on her -- that kiss! Her eyes widen, her

hand flies to her mouth, and she looks with growing

comprehension at the bracelet on her wrist.

INT. LOBBY - NIGHT

Jerry is just stepping out of the phone booth when Joe bursts

out of the ballroom entrance.

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