Somers Town Page #2

Yeah, we do.

Clear off, then, or I'll call the police.

- Shut up!

- I'll get the police. Clear off!

- Bye.

- Hold on, man. Oi, wait!

Oh, my God, you look big!

- Hey, that's enough of that.

- Shut up!

- I'll remember your face.

- Yeah, whatever!

- Got a photographic memory.

- Yeah.

So, what happened to your face?

I got beat up last night

by three lads, down there.

They nicked my bag and everything.

Where do you live?

Erm, everywhere. Anywhere.

Just around here.

On the streets too?

Mm.

Where do you live?

In there, with my father.

Which one do you live in?

I'll come and call for you tomorrow.

I show you later.

What, d'you want me to come with you

to see your flat or your house?

I don't know. If you want.

Yeah?

What, your dad won't mind, will he?

What, he will mind or will he let me?

I don't know.

What's his name?

- Dad's name?

- Yeah.

Mariusz.

Cool. What's your name?

Oh, I'm Marek.

- Tomo. Nice to meet you, mate.

- Nice to meet you.

- Hey, Graham.

- How you doing, Marek?

- I'm OK, thank you.

- Nice to see you, mate.

Who's your sidekick, then?

- He's my friend, Tomo.

- Tomo. All right, Tomo?

- All right.

- Where you from, then?

- Erm, Nottingham.

- Up North, eh?

Yeah, well, Midlands.

Midlands?

What bit of the Midlands is that?

- East. East Midlands.

- East, oh!

Thanks for helping us yesterday. I see

you're wearing the shirt. Nice one, son.

What you doing later on this afternoon?

D'you wanna earn a fiver?

Yeah.

Well, I was asking Marek actually, Tomo,

to tell you the truth.

Erm, basically, what it is, tomorrow,

I want you to sit down on a deckchair,

with a big pile of deckchairs by you...

- Yeah.

...and when someone comes along

and they want to hire a deckchair,

you have to stand up,

just for a couple of seconds,

take the money and sit back down again.

Sound easy enough?

- Yeah.

- Yeah?

Can I do it as well?

Will you vouch for him?

Is he an 'ard worker?

Yeah.

- Yeah?

- I think so.

OK, five pound each.

Is that all right, is that a deal?

- Yeah, yeah.

- There's one little catch.

See this lot of deckchairs we've got 'ere,

and these ones lined up over 'ere,

we gotta sand them down today,

so no one gets splinters.

So, if you wanna pick up the sandpaper

and get going on it, son.

So, do we get a fiver for this

and a fiver for tomorrow?

- That's a tenner.

- He's a joker, in't he?

No, five pound, that's it.

And you gotta prove yourself to me first,

d'you understand?

- OK.

- Yeah? All right, go on.

No, no, no, no, Tomo, not that one, son.

Look, one of them over there.

Pick one up. You gotta start your own chair,

go on. Get a spurt on,

Have we gotta do 'em all?

Yeah, all of 'em, yeah.

There ain't that many of 'em.

The sooner you get a start on it,

the sooner we'll do it.

I know that he's an 'ard worker.

There you go.

Tomo?

Tomo, wake up.

Maria.

Your food.

There ain't a lot there, mate.

There's only a little bit.

I can't give you more.

The rest is for my dad.

How much is your dad having?

Eat.

So, erm, why have you got

so many pictures of Maria?

Is she your girlfriend, or summat?

Yes, she is.

So... have you had sex with her?

No.

Only felt the bazookas?

No!

Well, obviously, her being your girlfriend,

you've kissed her, yeah?

Not yet.

Look, mate, in England,

it's sort of like a tradition

for like a... girlfriend to kiss her boyfriend,

so, it sounds to me like you're

not actually with her, you just like her.

In Poland,

we mustn't kiss to be together,

and you think only about one thing.

But, mate, we're not in Poland.

This is England and so... it sounds to me

like she's not your girlfriend.

So, I'm gonna try and get in there

with her, so, when I get with her,

I'm not gonna be that comfortable

with you having pictures of my girlfriend,

so, d'you wanna give me them now or...

No, door closed.

You must go and find another girl.

She's my girlfriend.

And eat fast, I must meet my dad.

Why can't I stay here?

You can't stay,

you must eat and go out.

Where am I gonna go, mate?

I don't know.

So, you're just gonna

let me out on the street again?

Please, I'm not gonna nick owt.

Tomo, it's me.

Wake up.

Are you hungry?

Eat.

- What's that?

- Sausage, Polish. Kielbasa.

Mate, I can't eat no more foreign food.

- Why?

- Half my insides are burning.

I need a poo really bad.

It's all the spiciness and that.

I need the toilet.

No, you can't have toilet.

My father is drunk, he will kill you.

Mate, it's important.

Wait, I have good idea.

- I need to go.

- Wait!

I give you plastic bag from kitchen.

You do it in, then we throw it in the window.

What, here?

- What?

- Here?

Yeah.

Is there no way I can go to the toilet,

please?

- No.

- What about toilet roll?

- Only plastic bag.

- What about what can I wipe my bum with?

- Please, mate.

- No.

Will you get me some toilet roll

on the way, then?

Wait, I give you plastic bag. Wait.

Don't forget toilet roll, please.

Wait. OK.

Please... hurry up.

- Don't forget toilet roll.

- OK!

She's so fit, man.

She's loads better than she

looks on the pictures.

What d'you think she's talking about now?

Oi!

- Oi!

- What?

- I said, what d'you think she's talking about?

- I don't know. Probably France.

I'd love to just

take her out for a meal,

and just be with her and hold her

and just eat together and...

maybe she'll feed me and she'll be

saying at the end of the night,

"Ooh, Thomasy, I love you so much.

"I want to feed you grapes and

feed you bread and cheese..."

- Shut up.

- Hello.

- Hi.

- How are you today? Hi.

What happened to your face?

I just got into a fight with three lads.

- Really?

- Yeah.

Does it hurt, sweetie?

- Nah.

- Sure?

Yeah, yeah. If you think that's bad,

you should see the state of them.

- I dominated all three of 'em.

- Just be careful, yeah?

Yeah, cool.

- How are you, Marek?

- I am fine.

- Yeah?

- Thank you. And you?

I'm fine, thank you.

How did your pictures go?

- Very good.

- Yeah?

- You have to show them to me sometime.

- Of course.

So, do you like photography,

arts and writing and things?

- Yeah, I do, actually.

- Cool, I'm actually a painter myself.

- Really?

- Yeah, I do everything. I do...

glasses, wine bottles...

...anything.

- Really?

- You name something,

- I'll tell you if I've done it.

- Erm, a flower.

Yeah, I've done flowers,

I've done fruit,

cakes.

I do women sometimes.

I actually did, like... It weren't awesome but

it was an OK drawing of the Eiffel Tower.

- The Eiffel Tower?

- Yeah, yeah.

- Show it to me.

- Yeah, of course I will.

Maybe I should do you sometime.

Maybe.

- Definitely.

- Do you want something to drink?

- Lemonade, please.

- Lemonade. And you?

I'm gonna stay off the fizzies, I reckon.

Can I just have a...a still water, please?

- No ice.

- OK.

Cheers.

You're not a painter.

She's so fit...

I am. I am!

- No!

- I've got loads of paintings, loads!

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