Somers Town Page #3

- Show me one.

- Well, I ain't got my bag, have l?

- Mm-hm.

- Hm.

Of course.

Oh, come on, someone sit down.

We've been sat around

for four and a half hours!

Oh, come on, it's getting cold now,

- can we not just call it a day?

- No, it's not!

Can we not just call it a day?

- No.

- Tomo, shut up, please!

You shut up.

Right. So you're saying the guy who dropped

it off has definitely gone, he's not here?

Yeah.

So, which way did he go?

That way.

So, he went that way,

we'll go that way, yeah?

- OK.

- So, I'm just gonna go in,

cool, natural, and just be myself,

and I'll just pick it up and...

Just watch and learn,

learn from the master.

Don't worry about it, I'll pull it off.

Shall I go with you, master?

What for?

I can fake heart attack

or something like this.

What d'you want to fake

an 'eart attack for?

If you just do it the way I'm gonna do it,

then it'll...it'll...it'll happen.

It's just... It's just me,

I can do everything.

So, just stay there a second, just one

minute, back in a minute. Don't move.

I'm just gonna...

just get these for...Uncle Ian.

Ian'll get these, these'll get to Ian.

Ian.

Come on, hurry up.

Come on.

Ta-da!

What's that - grandma's raincoat?

What else is in there?

A girl's blouse.

What else is in there?

Trousers.

Rupert Bear trousers!

No! What else is in there?

I want summat decent.

That's cool.

Like businessman.

Mate, you're not a businessman.

Take it off, it's not a fashion show.

I thought you said the person

who dropped the bag off looked like me.

Maybe he washes for his grandparents,

I don't know.

That's nice. Retro trousers.

There not retro, they're ridiculous!

Mate, just get my tracksuit, please.

I'm gonna be stuck in that tracksuit

for the rest of my life.

Is it dry?

Yeah.

No, it's not, it's soaked!

What the flippin' heck's that?

What you done to it?

I don't know, not me.

You've wrecked my clothes,

my only bits of clothes!

A pen!

For God's sake!

Maybe this one?

Mate, it's a dress!

Put it in your trousers.

Why are you being stupid?

Why are you finding this funny

that I've got no clothes to wear?

God's sake, grow up!

Don't be a baby!

Come back, Tomo!

Marek.

- Oi!

- What?

I've chosen

some clothes out the bag.

- Show me.

- Promise you won't laugh.

I won't.

Come on, you promised you wouldn't laugh.

Sorry. You look great.

I think I look like a female golfer.

No!

No.

Honestly, you look fine.

- What's that?

- What?

- What?

- That.

- Yeah?

- It's a wheelchair.

Yeah, it is.

- Whose do you reckon that is?

- I don't know.

Don't look like anyone's.

- Shall we go get it?

- OK.

I'll race you down.

Come on, quick!

So, d'you think she'll like it all, then?

Of course, it's flowers, umbrella and bell,

everything.

Don't worry.

I just don't want to serve him.

All right, listen, I'll say something,

but just, you know, accept the fact,

he's a bloody idiot.

Oh, God, talking of idiots.

- Go on.

- I'll see you.

All right, sweetheart.

I'll see you tomorrow.

See you tomorrow.

Let me change the sign for you.

Thanks.

- Hello.

- I had a car crash.

- No, you haven't.

- No, you're right, I haven't.

What's this?

A special taxi for you.

- No, really?

- Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, door-to-door service.

But I live really far away.

- It doesn't matter.

- We don't care.

Come on, in.

Thank you very much, my darlings.

I feel very honoured.

- So, which way?

- This way.

OK.

- Let's go.

- Go, go, go!

You boys are crazy.

# Are you a gambler?

# You gonna take a chance on this life?

# Are you a strangler?

# Are you gonna kill it all?

# Are your friends and your lovers,

your God-fearing brothers all gone?

# This is this all you got left

# And you don't see it lasting that long

# Are you a whirlwind?

# Do you suck in everything around you?

# Are you a monster?

# Do you destroy it all?

# Are your friends and your lovers,

your God-fearing brothers all gone?

# Is this all you got left

# And you don't see it lasting that long?

# Low, low, low

# Low is the man, so hard are the blows

# Low, low, low

# Low... are the punches

# For you #

This is where I live.

- Yeah, which one?

- With the flowers.

- Oh.

- Up there.

Thank you so much

for taking me home, boys.

Thank you.

It's been the best day I've had

since I've come to London.

It's our pleasure.

And I love the way

you decorated my chair.

Can I have a kiss now, please?

And remember,

I love you both the same.

Bye.

See you later.

Yeah!

See you later.

- Bye.

Whoo-ha!

Tomo, hurry up.

- What?

- We have no time.

What d'you want?

- What?

- Hurry up.

- Why?

- My dad will be back soon.

Why? Your dad's just gone to work.

He only gone to the shop.

- Just two minutes.

- He will catch you!

- Just two minutes.

- No, I'm coming.

Oh!

Tomo, what are doing?

I'm lonely.

Ow!

Hurry up!

Hurry up!

Who is it?

It's Tomo and Marek.

- Who?

- Tomo and Marek!

Hurry up.

Oh, what's wrong, boys?

What?

Do you know what time it is?

It's seven o'clock in the morning!

- So?

- What do you mean, so?

This is the middle of the night for me.

So, here, we've brought you some stuff.

What about that?

We brought you some clothes.

I don't want none of your stuff!

You woke me up

at seven o'clock in the morning

to bring me this load of old rubbish.

Are you mad?

We brought you some clothes.

Do you want to buy 'em?

That's bird's dresses, I don't want that!

What would I want that for?

You can sell 'em.

You can sell it all.

- You can sell it all.

- Wait a minute.

Retro trousers.

You can sell 'em all.

I'll give you a fiver for the suit.

We're selling it all together.

- What?

- You must buy all.

I don't want all of it.

All I want is this.

Well, you can resell it on the market.

So, how much d'you want for all of it?

Twenty-five, twenty quid?

Twenty-five qui...

Why's... Eurgh!

Now, piss off

and let me get back to bed, you.

Seven o'clock in the morning!

I don't know what...

Vin! Come on!

We got everything -

bread, wine, grapes, cheese, onions?

- Yeah.

- Things to sit on.

It's gonna be ace, this.

So, just let me do all the talking,

cos I'm better than you at it.

- OK. Hello.

- Hello, lads.

Where's Maria?

I'm afraid she ain't in today.

She told us that she was gonna be in.

No, she had to go home.

One of her family's sick or something.

No problem, we go and find her.

No, no, lads, not here home,

Paris home.

- Where?

- France.

She didn't tell us.

- When did she go?

- This morning.

Don't worry, there'll be another

little bird here next week.

Not like Maria.

What about all these things for her?

I...I don't know, I don't care.

Do what you want with it.

And remember,

I love you both the same.

Yeah, right! What a crock!

It's really annoying that we spent a lot

of money on all this food and that.

On the cheese and bread and grapes.

She didn't even have the decency

to tell us she was going.

OK, give me a bottle.

You've had loads.

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