Something Beneath

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[ambient] [heavy machinery running] Are you afraid? What? Are you afraid? Afraid of what? You Dutch? Who wants to know? Not me.

I don't give a monkey's nut. Bob back there says

you're digging in his trench, if you catch my drift. And he's on his way here,

so heads up, loverboy. You're a prince, man. Hey.

[slaps pipe] If anyone asks,

I had a doctor's

appointment, okay? [scoffs] [bubbling] [blade slams] Hey, Bob. I didn't see you

climb up in there. [bulldozer engine racing] Hey, it's a good gag,

man, really. [bulldozer engine racing] Uh, hey, you wanna

talk about this? Okay. Cut it out, okay? [whimpering] [engine revs] Hey, look, man, I didn't

know she was your old lady. Come on, please! [engine revs] Damn it! [wire snapping] [grunts] [footsteps approaching] Holy crap! Dude, he is so dead. Who is it? I don't know. We better call someone. I guess. [cell phone beeping] Days without a workplace

injury...zero. Dude, look at his face. [Man]

Thank you very

much for seeing me on such short

notice, Mr. Kent, but I believe

that you will-- you will find this

completely scintillating and-- and quite exciting. [clears throat] Anyway, um... this is the crux

of the problem, you see. If you look at

the population decline in the grgrayy ground

squirrels-- Ground squirrels? We're building a world-class

executive retreat, and you're wasting Mr. Kent's

time with ground squirrels? Mr. Kent, the animal life

at Cedar Gate is disappearing. Um, let's-- Squirrels and rabbits,

field mice. I mean, even the bird

population has dwindled almost overnight, and for no apparent

scientific reason. Now, until we have a chance

to study this further, I strongly suggest

you hold off excavating an extensive

drainage system. I see. So you want me

to lay off 65 men and put a half million dollars

of heavy equipment on blocks because you can't find

enough field mice? Mr. Connelly-- Doctor Connelly. Doctor Connelly. [inhales] Of course. I'm well aware

of your reputation. That's why I hired you. Now you said that the

soil toxicity is minimal. Oh, yes, but-- And apart from one death, and that was

alcohol related, we've had no problem

on the site. Well, now that's not true. You have one big problem. Me. I can't endorse commercial

development at this time. Sit down. Good idea. [wheelchair motor whirrs] Now, you-- You-- Take Doctor Connelly

out of here. This man is

a security risk. Make sure that he never slips

into this building again. I'm a scientist! [motor whirring] Why me? Why do I always get stuck

with the global warming nuts? [thuds] I'm Vicky Valentines

reporting from Channel 6 news. We're here today at the

Clean Planet Concordance where we're hoping

to meet some celeb-- Oh, I believe we

have someone here. Finally.

It's Mikaela. Hi.

Mikaela, you're

a glamorous girl. Why are you

here today? I just have a soft spot

for the environment. I'm just so

happy to be here. [Woman]

Isn't this exciting? Our first conference and it's

the Clean Planet Concordance. God, they're famous! Famous for being

an effete bunch of tree-huggers

and whale-lovers. They should try

doing my job. I doubt any one of us

could manage a hotel. And talk about

multi-tasking. I couldn't imagine a

more challenging job. Well, we like to

think of ourselves as a conference center,

rather than a hotel, but you're right

about the multi-tasking.

Doug Middleton. I'm nominally in charge

of this bunch and they had this dumb idea that anyone who can live off

grubs and tree bark in the Papua New Guinea

highlands can coordinate a conference. That isn't

a dumb idea at all. I'm Kaley Spence, the

events coordinator here. Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you. Oh, this is Aimee,

my assistant. If there's anything you need,

please let me know. You're our first

big conference, and we want to make sure

everything is perfect. Everything

will be perfect. Of course, it will. I have complete faith

in all of you. [cell phone ringing] Symes. There's no

plumbing problem. Help! Shoot, rats, shoot. Don't let her

get me, please. Don't let who get you?

What's the matter? She's lost it. There's smoke coming

out of her ears.

Who? Don't even think about

avoiding me, Eugene Herman! [sighs]

Too late. I am livid. Can you see

how livid I am? I didn't miss

Tyra Banks' birthday to play second

banana to you. Miss Strovsky,

can I help you with something? Yes, hold this. CNN didn't come

all the way out here to photograph some nerdy

Web blogger with bad skin. What idiot made you

keynote speaker? I would be the

idiot in question. Miss Strovsky,

it is my pleasure to meet you, and I am very sorry

about the schedule change. But when I read Eugene's

piece on climate variation, I was so impressed with it. [dog barking] [gasps] Oh, Cleopatra.

[dog whining] Oh, poor baby! Did she hurt you? I-- I didn't know

it was in there. I was bitten when I was

a kid and I've just-- I've been terrified

of dogs ever since. I'm really sorry.

Ignorance is no excuse. [cameras clicking] I'd like you to stop

by my room, Father, to discuss your scheduling. Oh, and by the way,

I love The Thorn Birds. Ah, you forgot-- [fingers snapping] ...your dog.

Thank you, thank you. You saved me from the Wicked

Witch of the Upper West Side. Right, with my

little dog phobia. Well, you're afraid of dogs,

I'm afraid of public speaking. My mother's afraid

of margins. Everybody's afraid

of something. It's okay, Eugene. No one ever died

from public speaking. Found your room yet?

[inhales] Well, everything seems

to be off to a good start. Oh, right. Sorry.

[yips] Oh, yeah. I'll get her dog

back to her. [inhaler rattling] [inhaler hisses softly]

[inhales] We're all going to die! [coughing] We're all going to die! You're gonna die and you. And, oh, we both know

you're gonna die. Unless we do-- unless-- unless-- Where am I? Unless we take immediate action to reverse the damage

we're doing to the envirody-- envirody-- environment, humanity as a species is-- is doomed! Be afraid,

ladies and gentlemen. Be very afraid. [coughing] That wasn't so bad. Kind of liked it. Thanks, tree,

you're always there for me. Oh, oh, perfect. I can just see myself

at the podium, shaking the hands of

a Nobel Prize winning biologist and I smear black goo

all over him. I'm such a loser. Why am I even here? [inhales] [thunderclap] [thunderclap] Hello? Is anybody there? [thunderclap] I think I took a wrong turn. [inhales] [thunderclap] Is anyone else here? [thunderclap]

Hello? [creature snarling] Hello? [thunderclap] [inhales] [thunder rumbling] [creature shrieking] [screaming] Help! Oh, boy. Sheik Abdullah

requires halal meal service. Halal, that's just

like kosher, right?

I guess. Some sort of weird diet plan refrigeration made irrelevant

a million years ago. My sister-in-law

still keeps kosher. Oh. Hey, can you believe

that globe-trotting he-man is a priest? Father Douglas Middleton,

whoa, that's just-- A total waste of man flesh. I was going to say creepy. And Miss Strovsky

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