Something Borrowed Page #3

---

Her dress is indeed the exact same color as Nick’s tie.

KAT:

It’s no big deal. Really. It just

looks like a tailor cut off a yard

of my dress and made your tie out

of it.

Nick doesn’t get it. He heaves one of Kat’s suitcases onto a

trolley full of matching suitcases.

KAT (CONT’D)

Don’t get me wrong, matching’s

fine. It’s “matchy matchy” you’ve

got to watch out for.

(re:
outfits)

This is matchy-matchy.

Nick, amused, tugs the last of the bags off the carousel and

adds it to a pile of what appears to be an entire floor model

of matching luggage.

NICK:

You think we look like we’re trying

too hard.

KAT:

Exactly. I want us to look like we

fit, but not like we’re trying too

hard to look like we fit.

(beat)

It’s welcome cocktails, not prom.

With this level of matchy-matchy, we

should be drinking peach schnapps

under a bleacher somewhere.

Nick laughs at Kat. Then fixes her with an intense stare.

NICK:

I’ll teach you a trick. If you

look people in the eye, they’ll

never even notice what you have on.

Kat, overwhelmed by his charisma, is mesmerized.

NICK (CONT’D)

What color are my shoes?

KAT:

(dreamily)

You have feet?

Nick smiles sweetly and touches her cheek.

EXT. COUNTRYSIDE - OUTSIDE LONDON - DAY

The Heathrow Express thunders towards London.

INT. HEATHROW EXPRESS - [MOVING] - DAY

Nick stands by the W.C., flipping through Cosmo. He can do

that without looking gay. He talks to Kat through the door.

NICK:

I understand how important this is

to you, but you’re a beautiful

woman and you’ve got everything in

the world going for you. I

couldn’t care less what you have

on.

Kat comes out modeling a black strapless.

KAT:

Don’t patronize me.

They’ve clearly been at this a while.

NICK:

You’re funny.

KAT:

Yeah, but I feel like crap. And if

you feel like crap, it’s way better

to look hot while you’re doing it.

He checks her out.

NICK:

Mission accomplished.

KAT:

Really?

(beat)

Don’t get too attached.

She bolts back to the bathroom, nearly knocking over a ZITTY

TEENAGER who’s waiting his turn.

ZITTY TEENAGER:

I liked the red one better.

NICK:

I’ll let her know.

INT. W.C. - HEATHROW EXPRESS

Kat, alone in the W.C., meticulously rearranges a layer of

paper towel on the floor so she can step out of her shoes.

She expertly slides off the first dress while simultaneously

pulling another one on -- not an inch of skin shows.

She struggles as the train rocks back and forth.

NICK (O.S.)

(through the door)

I bet you’re doing that girl thing,

where you get undressed without

showing any skin.

Kat looks around suspiciously.

KAT:

No, I’m not.

How’d he know?

INT. HEATHROW EXPRESS - CONTINUOUS

Kat emerges from the bathroom wearing the new dress. Nick

checks it out.

NICK:

Mmm.

KAT:

Mmm, nice dress? Or mmm--

(British accent)

Gorgeous, I was insane to let you

go!

NICK:

Both.

Kat looks to the Zitty Teenager for his opinion.

ZITTY TEENAGER:

I’d do you.

(to Nick)

I mean, if it was all right with

you.

Kat gives the passenger an appreciative smile, then flies

back into the bathroom. Nick, amused by her antics, steps

closer to the door.

NICK:

You know, they say you can tell

everything you need to know about a

person from the way they act when

they’re naked.

KAT:

(popping her head out)

I don’t do naked. My sister? She

does naked.

Kat ducks back into the bathroom.

MUSIC UP. NAKED MONTAGE:

INT. W.C. - HEATHROW EXPRESS

Kat pulls her dress over her head.

MATCH CUT TO:

ANOTHER WOMAN, PULLING OFF HER DRESS.

INT. AMY’S BATHROOM

The woman is Kat’s sister, AMY ELLIS, 28. She graces a bath

mat in all her infinite nakedness. Totally nude, she gently

places her veil on her head and begins the ablutions of a

Greek goddess. A dot of bath oil, a pure white towel, one

squirt self-tanner, one squirt lotion.

Finally, she pulls out a bottle of olive oil, pours two drops

into her hands and rubs them together.

Then she stares in the mirror, regarding herself with a look

so blank it could be anything from admiration to revulsion.

Just then, a KNOCK.

The groom, EDWARD FLETCHER-WOOTEN, 31, enters, wearing a

robe. He flashes Amy as he does a silly dance then smothers

her inside his robe. Amy giggles and tries to break free.

At first she’s laughing, but then she turns on a dime and

shoves him off more forcefully than she meant to.

She kisses him on the lips, trying to cover, and shoos him

out the door.

INT. BUNNY’S DRESSING ROOM

The mother of the bride, BUNNY ELLIS, 60, drops her robe on

the floor. She is about to put on a bra when she catches her

reflection in a full-length mirror on the door.

She is momentarily surprised by what she sees. She turns and

faces her image. This is not the woman she is in her head.

This is an old woman with uncooperative skin. With one swift

movement, she slams the door.

INT. ELLIS HOUSE - ST. JOHN’S WOOD

The father of the bride, VICTOR ELLIS, 65, wearing only a

pair of socks, walks downstairs. He's completely comfortable

in his nakedness and trots around as if he's fully clothed.

He sings to himself. The words of the song are

incomprehensible but he sings with an unrestrained Sinatra

sass.

Victor enters the kitchen, opens the fridge and starts

scrounging. Inside the fridge door, Victor bends over and

his bare butt sticks out. As he closes the fridge door, we

cut to...

A SHOWER DOOR SLIDING OPEN.

INT. JEFFREY’S FLAT

Inside, the best man, JEFFREY JOHNSON, 31, the guy from the

snapshot under Kat’s bed, glistens with a post-shower flush.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes