Something Borrowed Page #4

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Jeffrey towels off with a miniscule washcloth.

Stepping out of the bathroom, Jeffrey notices an 18-year-old

NYMPHETTE watching him through her kitchen window. He

crosses to the window but instead of closing the blinds, he

opens them wider and jumps up onto a pull-up bar.

The Nymphette blushes and looks away. As he starts pumping

and his manhood rises dangerously close to frame, we...

CUT TO:

EXT. LANESBOROUGH HOTEL - ESTABLISHING - DAY

Upscale cars deliver upscale people to this stately hotel in

Central London.

INT. LOBBY - LANESBOROUGH HOTEL

Nick pays the BELLHOP, who trolleys away their bags. He

turns to find Kat. She’s wearing the red dress. The Zitty

Teenager was right. It’s really hot.

Kat starts doing a yoga breath of fire, trying to relax.

Nick takes Kat’s hand and pulls her close.

NICK:

You okay, hon?

Kat nods, clearly not okay. Nick smooths a piece of hair

behind her ear. There is a practiced intimacy to the way he

touches her and Kat is almost settled by it.

KAT:

I’m not sure I can do this.

Nick moves towards Kat as if he’s going to kiss her, but then

he whispers in her ear.

NICK:

You’re never going to be sure of

anything, but we still have to go

inside.

Just then, Kat’s mother appears.

BUNNY:

(singing)

“Baby love, my baby love.”

A few BRITS dart looks at this very American display.

KAT:

Please, Mom. This is not the time

to be yourself.

Bunny folds Kat and Nick into a drunken embrace. Bunny gives

Nick the once-over.

BUNNY:

(to Nick)

And who might this be?

Kat’s mortified but Nick quickly saves her.

NICK:

I’m the new guy.

(kissing Bunny)

It’s great to meet you.

Bunny throws Kat an unsubtle, “I’m impressed” look and leads

them into the party.

INT. LANESBOROUGH HOTEL

Bunny, Kat and Nick emerge into a sea of Burberry, floppy

hair, and unspoken judgments. Bunny turns to Nick and Kat,

all business.

BUNNY:

This is a marathon, not a sprint.

After welcome cocktails, you’ve got

the hen party. Tomorrow, there’s a

picnic and the rehearsal dinner and

since you’ve conveniently left no

margin for jet lag--

(squeezing Kat’s cheek)

I need you to hydrate, baby.

Nick and Kat are stunned. Bunny hops away as Victor

approaches. Kat throws her arms around her stepfather.

KAT:

Dad!

VICTOR:

Hi, kiddo.

KAT:

Meet Nick.

NICK:

Sir.

They shake hands. Just then, Kat’s sister, Amy, dressed to

the nines, strikes a pose in the doorway.

AMY:

I’m getting MARRIED!

As Kat and Amy squeal loudly and hug, Victor leans into Nick.

VICTOR:

I find a good, strong drink helps.

Nick smiles, looks at Victor’s glass.

NICK:

Can I get you a refill, sir?

Victor hands Nick the glass.

NICK (CONT’D)

(sniffing the glass)

I’m guessing MacCallum, 18 years.

(beat)

Neat, with a water-back.

VICTOR:

Is there any other way to take it?

Nick heads toward the bar and Victor turns to Kat.

VICTOR (CONT’D)

Where’d you find this guy?

Kat smiles, appreciatively.

KAT:

The Yellow Pages.

Victor laughs. Across the room, Bunny has found a

microphone. She taps a knife on the side of a glass to get

everyone’s attention.

BUNNY:

Welcome, friends and family!

Then she taps the mic, which squeals.

ON KAT, panic stricken.

KAT:

Sweet Jesus, who gave that woman an

amp?

ON BUNNY, drunk with happiness.

BUNNY:

Victor and I would especially like

to thank our out-of-town guests for

coming to celebrate with us as we

welcome Edward and the Fletcher-

Wootens into our family.

THE CAMERA ID’s LYDIA and GEORGE FLETCHER-WOOTEN, 60’s.

George shifts uncomfortably. Lydia waves as though

addressing a room full of her subjects.

ON JEFFREY, searching the crowd for someone. His eyes land

on Kat. She doesn’t see him. He stares at her meaningfully.

BUNNY (CONT’D)

It’s funny. We always thought we’d

marry off Kat first. We came close

once, but that crashed and burned.

Nervous laughter from the crowd. Kat smiles through the

pain. Jeffrey winces sympathetically. His mind working, he

spots a piano nearby.

BUNNY (CONT’D)

Still, we had reason to hope. She

was always one of the more “active”

girls at the American school, and

that’s saying a lot.

Suddenly, a loud, lovely arpeggio from the piano. Bunny

looks over, surprised. Then she smiles.

ANGLE ON JEFFREY, sitting at the piano, playing.

BUNNY (CONT’D)

Okay, okay. I get the hint!

Anyway, imagine our surprise when

Ed moved in next door and fell in

love with...the girl next door.

Our Amy. Lucky for us, he had no

idea it was an unforgiveable

cliché.

(raising her glass)

A toast to the bride and groom to be.

Congratulations, babies!

Everyone claps as Jeffrey plays a final flourish.

INT. NEAR W.C. - LANESBOROUGH HOTEL - LATER

Kat is sneaking towards the ladies room when Jeffrey comes

out of the men’s room. Their eyes meet. Both stop dead.

Neither can find words or even a smile. Kat pretends that

seeing him isn’t a gut-punch, forces a silly grin.

KAT:

Thanks for, you know, with the

piano.... It was really.... Hm.

(beat)

I have to pee.

Kat slithers past Jeffrey into the W.C.

INT. W.C. - LANESBOROUGH HOTEL

Kat wills her breath back. She turns on the water as if she

were washing her hands. Then she confronts herself in the

mirror and applies a coat of lipstick like she’s putting on a

suit of armor.

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