Son of Flubber Page #3

use around here, it's a little revenue.

Yes, we certainly...

[ both ]

internal revenue?

Your tax bill for the first three

quarters of the current year.

The figure includes delinquent

penalties of $12,895 at five percent...

For the first two quarters... all based on

an estimate of projected earnings, of course.

$656,000?

[ Stammers ] oh, I realize

that the estimate is low...

considering the staggering

potential of flubber,

But uncle Sam is willing to be understanding

until you get your financial house in order.

But, Mr. Harker,

we don't have 656 cents.

You don't say?

Let me explain, Mr. Harker. You see, I turned my

discovery over to those people at the pentagon.

Now they put a top-Secret

classification on it.

I- I'm not even supposed

to talk to anybody about it.

Yes. I know those boys

at the pentagon.

I used to review some of the general's

personal tax returns. A million laughs.

- [ Chuckling ] well, then you do understand.

- Certainly.

- [ Buzzer ]

- Excuse me.

Now if you'll just give me a check for

the amount on this paper here, please.

But how can I pay you

if nobody pays me?

Well, I regret to say,

professor, that's your problem.

But... look at it

from our standpoint.

We've been counting on you.

We trusted you.

Uncle Sam needs the money.

You don't build those rockets to

the moon with green stamps, you know.

Excuse me, dear. Joey's here

to collect for the paper.

Do you have half a

dollar? I don't think so.

You estimated your income for the

current year at a million dollars.

Is this true? Well, that was

just a wild guess, Mr. Harker.

We thought the money was going to come

rolling in from all directions... millions.

We wouldn't be able to count

it all. There's ten cents.

There's another dime. That's twenty.

We'll have to owe him the rest.

He wants his money.

But you did make this estimate based on this

tidal wave of money that you speak about.

That's right. There's another

dime. That's all Ive got.

There's not another cent

in the whole house.

You see, essentially, professor,

we have a trusting nature.

When a taxpayer makes an estimate,

we believe 'im. We're happy for 'im.

We're rooting for 'im

all the way.

Well, that's very kind of you,

Mr. Harker.

Oh, Ned, I cleaned all

the loose change out of there.

Oh. Well, we should

have company over more often.

Uncle Sam has to run his store on

current income just like everyone else.

When the money he's counting on

doesn't come in, he's very sad.

Now in this case, the sadness is represented

by a delinquent penalty of $12,895.

I found another dime.

We're still a dime light.

Then Ill just have to go and

talk to him. Uh, professor.

[ Clears throat ]

may I?

Thank you, Mr. Harker.

Thank you.

Now,

In addition

to the six percent penalty,

In the case of willful failure to pay your

estimated tax, there's a $10,000 fine...

or imprisonment...

Thank you, Mrs. Brainard.

I'll give you your receipt.

Professor... what is, uh,

the little lad's name?

Uh, joey Marriano.

And how many customers would

you say he has on his route?

Oh, Id say around 30.

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute. What are you doing with

that information about little joey?

Uh, just a reminder to myself to put a spot-Check

on the lad. A small thing, you might say,

But you'd be surprised how much

unreported income turns up this way.

But joey's only

seven years old.

You wouldn't take

money from a child.

[ Laughing ]

You know, professor, your wife

has a refreshing sense of humor.

We don't run into it often in our

line of work, and that's a fact.

You ought to be ashamed.

Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah.

Sticks and stones, etc.

We do our part to keep the

wheels of democracy rolling.

Warriors unsung,

unknown, misunderstood.

If need be, I imagine you'd put

your own mother in jail.

Funny you should mention that

about mom.

A little matter of some unreported

income from jams and jellies.

We nailed her

dead to rights.

Well, I won't bore you

with shop talk.

Uh, one last little

parting thought, professor.

Should uncle Sam really want

to throw the book at you,

We have some lovely punitive

laws under section 7203,

And section 6653, paragraph b,

is a real jim-Dandy.

Good day, sir, and a pleasant

day to you, Mrs. Brainard.

Oh, Ned.

I forgot to kiss you

when I came home.

I missed you.

I missed you too.

You know all I could think about

while I was there in Washington?

What? I just couldn't help

feeling sorry for all those people.

They have their problems, too, you

know. Now you take that income tax man.

Ned Brainard, don't you dare, dare

try to straighten out the government.

We have our own troubles

right here. But, sweetheart,

I was only thinking about

the welfare of our country.

Well, this is part

of the country, isn't it?

Th-This house is on united

states territory. We're citizens.

Now look, I don't want to appear selfish,

but just once, can't we think about ourselves?

Betsy, I don't blame you for feeling

the way you do, but please believe me:

Everything's going to work

out all right. But, Ned...

Now sit down, and hold your breath. I have

something of great importance to tell you.

Oh? I wasn't going to tell you

till I had it completely worked out,

But if I keep it to myself

any longer, Im going to bust.

Betsy, this is going

to bowl you over.

I think Ive managed

to get hold of the weather.

What does that mean,

you "got hold of the weather"?

What it means, Mrs. Brainard, is

that flubber was only the key...

that unlocked a great

storehouse of cosmic forces.

Out in that humble garage, from the

residue of flubber, I found a gas.

I call it "flubber gas," and I have reason

to believe that with this flubber gas,

I can activate a change in the

molecular balance of the atmosphere.

It could even trigger off the energies which

give us rain, snow, sleet, electrical storms,

Blue skies, sunshine,

whatever, wherever we choose.

Do you realize what that would mean, Betsy?

It would mean that, for the first time,

Weather would become the slave

of man, rather than his master.

It could change the future of the whole

world, the history of mankind itself.

That's very nice, dear. Very nice?

Betsy, this is the greatest...

Ned, why do you always have to

do something so world-Shattering?

Can't it be something modest that would

bring just a few dollars into this house?

Like goop that would keep

fingernails from breaking?

Or trash can lids that would

actually fit the top of trash cans!

Trash cans? Or some little machine...

that pays the grocer and the dry

cleaner at the end of every month.

I'd say I could use a little

machine like that right now!

Betsy, please be serious. Do you realize

what a wonderful age we are living in today?

Anything can happen.

Anything!

Forty years ago... even thirty years ago...

if I said Id found a way to control weather,

No one would've listened, but

today, do you know what they'd say?

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