Son of Flubber Page #4

I know what I would say:

I'd say I think the first impression

that I ever had of you was right.

What was that?

I thought you were nuts!

Look. We've got this big football game

with Rutland next saturday, right? Right.

And they're practically

national champs, right? Right.

Suppose we beat Rutland on saturday. Even

my own father couldn't close a college...

that had just clobbered the

national champs, could he?

Ah, biff,

how can we beat Rutland?

Our team is hardly strong enough to

get itself dressed in the morning.

What do you think the suit is

for? Science in action, boy.

I haven't been hangin' around professor

Brainard all semester just for kicks, you know.

What's this thing supposed to do? Knute

Rockne put new ideas into football.

Pop warner put new ideas

into football.

And now, Alonzo Hawk, Jr.

Is gonna do his part.

How does that feel?

Hi, biff.

Hi, prof. Good. You've got the

flubber gas all hooked up, huh?

Just like you asked me to, sir.

Oh, by the way, professor,

I'd like you to meet my

assistant. This is Humphrey hacker.

Oh. Glad to know ya,

Humphrey.

Hi there. He wants

to become a scientist.

Oh, not exactly. What Im really

interested in is animal husbandry.

Oh, humph, I wouldn't let you throw

away your life on a bunch of cows.

Sir, science needs brilliant young minds

like Humphrey. Besides, I needed a volunteer.

Volunteer? For what?

Sir, I hope you won't mind, but Id like

very much to borrow a little flubber gas.

- You see, we've got this football suit here...

- Oh, so that's what it is.

Yes, sir. Humphrey,

come on. Demonstrate.

When we get the flubber gas, it

would come through feed tube "a"...

and inflate

shoulder pad "b. "

Then it would come through

feed tube "c"...

and inflate shoulder pad "d," and

then the leg pads, and so forth.

There's only thing, biff. Flubber gas is

extremely violent, exceptionally powerful.

I don't know how much protection

those pads are going to give you.

Protection, sir? Oh, we're

not thinking about protection.

We're thinking about

offensive power!

Well, look. Just imagine, sir. The

teams line up. The ball is snapped.

I take the ball, and I slam

it into Humphreys stomach.

Bam!

Oof!

Now a whole wave of those big Rutland

gorillas comes pouring in to smash him.

Fearlessly, Humphrey lowers his head. He

charges right into 'em. The flubber gas reacts...

zam! Wham! Kersplunch! Rutland linemen

fall like ten pins in every direction!

Humphrey staggers, but he keeps running. The

Rutland secondary comes in just to smash him!

Boom! Pow!

Pow!

Like water off a

duck's back they bounce.

Humphrey staggers, but he keeps

on running, and he's to the 30.

He's to the 20, the 10! He's over

for a touchdown! Fans are going wild!

Yea, Humphrey! Yea, Medfield! Yea! Yea!

Whaddya think, sir?

Well, if first impressions mean anything,

I, uh... I think you're slightly nuts.

Sir?

I'm sorry, biff.

I was thinking of something someone

very near and dear just said to me.

Don't let me discourage you.

You go right ahead.

Oh, thank you, sir. We'll go

on a crash program right now.

Pick it up. We're gonna eat and sleep this

thing 24 hours a day till we get it whipped.

Let me know if I can

help you. Thank you, sir.

Meantime, Im on a little trash

can... I mean, crash program of my own.

Project weather gun.

Well, here goes.

First, we connect the circuit

with the weather gun.

And we fill the circuit

with flubber gas.

[ Hissing ]

Then we activate the pump...

so the gas flows through

the gun at constant pressure.

Now the flubber gas is violent,

but we need even more violence,

So we stimulate it

electronically.

Yeah.

Now let's see

what we've got.

Hmm. Now let's see.

You know, biff, this stuff is labeled

"dangerous. " Oh, now, humph boy.

Look, would I get you into a situation

unless I knew exactly what I was doing?

Yeah.

That should do it.

That should do it.

[ Laughing ] Ive never

seen them so worked up.

When I bombard a cloud with a beam like

this, it just has to lead to clustering...

in turn, leading to a transfer

of particle momentum...

And the inevitable consequence:

precipitation... rain all over the place.

Now for a cloud.

Not a cloud in the sky.

Not one single cloud.

Wouldn't ya know it?

Well, what have we here?

Range:
about 30 feet.

Switch on.

Ready. Aim.

Fire.

[ Thundering ]

It works!

Charlie Brainard!

Betsy. Betsy.

I did it! I did it!

You did? That's right, sweetheart,

and that's only the beginning.

The next time, Im going

to flood the whole county.

It's a result of my fooling around with

the molecular configuration of flubber gas.

I'll get a mop and clean

it up. Oh, never mind.

Ned, Ive had enough

for one day.

All I ask of you is to get dressed for

dinner. Company will be here at 7:00.

Whatever you say, dear.

[ Chuckles ]

though april showers may come

your way they bring the flowers...

Well, who's going to be here for

dinner, Betsy? Didn't I tell you, dear?

No, I don't think you did.

Who's going to be here?

Now, I don't want you to be upset.

Betsy, who's coming to dinner?

If there's one thing Im certain

you're not, it's narrow-Minded. Betsy,

I would like to know

who's coming to dinner.

It isn't as though he were

coming all by himself.

Besides, he was such a good sport about

our getting married. You don't mean...

I don't see one single reason

why we can't all be good friends.

We're adults, you know, not children.

You don't for one single minute mean...

that dear, sweet, kind,

thoughtful...

double-Crossing, miserable,

four-Flushing snake...

[ both ]

Shelby Ashton!

Betsy, I think you'll agree

that Im a very patient man,

But old flame or not, if that no-Good rat

sets one grubby paw inside this house, Ill...

Ned, if you raise one hand...

[ door buzzer ]

I'll get it.

Nuzzie! Oh.

Evening, professor. Hello, Betsy

dear. It's wonderful to... who is that?

As soon as they unglue themselves, Id

like you to meet an old friend of Neds:

- Desiree de la Roche.

- Now wait a minute. I don't know any...

holy cats!

It's Mary Lee Spooner!

Of course it is, nuzzie

darling. I'll be darned.

I knew you were vague, lover, but I didn't

think you were that vague. I'll be doggone.

- Betsy, do you know who this is?

- No, "nuzzie. " Who is it?

It's Mary lee Spooner.

You said that before. Somehow or

another, I didn't get much out of it.

You must've heard me

talk about her.

Mary lee and I used to go together, didn't

we? It was long before I met you, Betsy.

By gosh, Mary lee, you've changed. What's

all this desiree de la whatever it is?

Well, Ive been married here

and there, and, uh,

I picked up a name or two

since I left Medfield.

And Ive just been living in

Paris all this time. In Paris?

Didn't you know that? I didn't know

that. I wondered what happened to ya.

Gosh, we used to have the times,

didn't we, Mary lee?

Betsy, there was one time

when Mary lee and I...

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