Sordid Lives Page #2

kills your sister.

[ Gasps ]

Oh, Noleta has emerged.

- [ Yelling ]

- She's throwing all of G. W.'s stuff

out in the yard.

Goddamn sorry, cheating

son of a b*tch!

Oh, Lord have mercy on my soul.

- There goes the TV.

- [ Yelling, Cheering ]

Life is one big, ol' pile of sh*t,

Odell.

You know, G.W.,

no offence now, but, uh...

you're starting to get on my nerves.

I mean, get off the cross, buddy.

We need the wood.

[ Laughs ]

- That was a joke, G.W.

- [ Laughing ]

You know,

to try and lift your spirits.

My God. My God.

- Woo-hoo.

- Woo-hoo.

Woo-hoo.

Come on in, Noleta.

Thanks, Sissy.

I brung you this. It's, uh--

It's my mama's tuna casserole.

You know, the one I always make

with the Lay's potato chips

and the Cream of Mushroom soup.

Well, that is mighty nice of you...

given the circumstances and all.

- Are you all right?

- I'm fine.

Oh, Sissy.

- Oh.

- [ Sobbing ] I don't know what to do.

Everybody's laughing at me, Sissy.

G.W.'s made a complete fool out of me.

- Can I bum a cigarette, please?

- Oh, hon, I quit three days ago.

- Threw 'em all out.

- [ Sobbing ]

Why don't you sit down...

and I'll make you

a nice glass of ice tea.

There you go.

- Would you like a Valium?

- Uh-huh.

[ Dog Barking In Distance ]

I know this has to be

awkward for you, Sissy.

I mean, my husband

killed your sister with his, um--

I threw him out.

I threw his sorry ass out, Sissy.

Threw all his stuff

out on the lawn.

If he don't get it by tonight,

I'm gonna have a yard sale.

- But what am I gonna do now?

- Oh, hon.

I mean, I have no skills.

I'm just a mama and a wife.

What the hell

am I supposed to do now?

- Aw.

- [ Sobbing ]

[ Whimpering ]

- [ Crying ]

- Aw.

Ouch.

[ Whimpering ]

Thank you.

I'm sorry.

I shouldn't be telling you this.

- Should I take one or two of these?

- I'd take two if I was you.

And you'll feel a lot better

when those kick in.

And you can tell me

anything you want, Noleta.

I feel for you. I do.

This whole thing

is just one, big, unfortunate mess.

Cup and saucer or a pocketbook.

Two tricks in one.

- Didn't even use my teeth.

- What happened to the pig, Odell?

- The other white meat.

- I'm getting to that, G. W.

I had to go to the can real bad,

on account of the fact

I had one of them corny dogs.

I got real thirsty. I bought

one of them big, old jumbo sodas

to wash it down with.

- So I headed right on down

to them porta-potties.

- And I strongly believe...

that mama just didn't like

old Cockadoodle...

and she made up

that boll weevil sh*t...

because I sure the hell

never saw no goddamn bugs.

I'm in hell.

Today I was at the Shamrock,

filling up--

I needed one more full tank

for a complete set of them

Dallas Cowboy mugs--

I'm gonna get you

a little refill.

And that trashy thing,

Lynette Walters, was there.

Well, she was there

talking to her friend...

that Gloria Other-piece-of-trash,

old man Holmes's youngest girl...

the one with them

two illegitimate mulatto kids...

and they were staring at me, pointin',

talking all hush-hush.

Those two, all skinny

in their tube tops and short shorts...

like I was some kind of circus freak

or somethin'.

Those two, Sissy, of all people,

like they was better than me.

- Well, they're not.

- Well, I just went up to her window...

threw down a 20,

didn't wait for my change

or my Dallas Cowboy mug, and left.

- Good.

- Drove down Highway 84...

sobbing to high heaven,

going nowhere.

Finally had to pull over

'cause I couldn't see the road no more.

Aw, hon.

I'm sorry. I shouldn't be telling you

all this, giving you troubles.

You've got enough on your mind.

- Well, I gotta go, Sissy.

- So soon?

The kids get out of school at 3:00,

and I gotta explain to 'em about G.W.

I am so sorry about Peggy.

She was a really good woman,

in spite of--

- Tell LaVonda to call me.

- I will.

And those Valium ought to kick in

any minute. Oh, here.

Take these with ya.

I got another bottle.

- Oh, thank you.

- Aw.

Bye-bye, hon.

Thanks for the casserole.

Now you hold

your head up high, ya hear?

- I'll try.

- I mean it.

[ Crying ]

Oh, sh*t.

Ouch.

And as I rounded a corner,

these kids was a-holdin'

down that pig...

while they was

a-stickin' a garden hose

down that poor pig's throat...

trying to get it to gain weight

right quick like to qualify.

All for the sake of a durn blue ribbon.

Oh, those dang kids. They all looked

like juvenile delinquents to me...

squattin' that pig down there,

shovin' that hose down his poor throat.

Well, she's just gone crazy

over this whole ordeal.

Who wouldn't?

Uh-uh. No, no. Uh-uh.

No. No, no, no.

No, ma'am.

No, sirree. No.

I don't believe Brother Boy

is mentally stable enough

to come to the funeral.

The last time I seen him,

he thought he was Tammy Wynette.

Had on a real pretty wig

and a sequin pantsuit though.

And if you'd squint your eyes

and kept a good distance away...

he looked just like Tammy...

in the early years.

Lord, Lord, Lord. Sometimes

I just can't hardly stand it...

thinking about him

all cooped up like that.

Poor Brother Boy.

But at least he is someplace safe...

where he will not be ridiculed.

Hey, f*ggot.

What happened to your hair?

You crazy, cock-suckin',

motherfuckin' f*ggot.

I'm talking to you.

I can see your p*ssy.

- [ Horn Honks ]

- Oh, I gotta git.

- [ Tires Screeching ]

- That is Latrelle.

Oh, she does not look happy.

- Her and LaVonda have

been arguing all morning long.

- Sissy!

- I just refuse to referee anymore.

- Sissy!

Thank you.

I-I need those prayers.

Prayers mean so much.

I'll see you at the funeral.

I gotta go. Bye-bye.

- [ Panting ] Ouch.

- [ Footsteps ]

Sissy!

Oh, well. You're just never gonna

believe what she's done now.

- [ Object Thuds On Floor ]

- You just won't.

- What did she do?

- LaVonda wants to bury Mama...

- in that ugly mink stole

with the head still on it.

- Well--

I know Mama loved that stole,

but, good Lord, Sissy.

- It's 1 08 degrees out.

- Well, I--

No person should be wearing a mink stole

in the middle of summer.

- Well, she was--

- It's not appropriate.

-Well, I--

-It's not right, and I will not have it!

- And I hope you'll support me on this.

- Well, I--

I will not have her

making a mockery of my mama

at her one and only funeral.

It's just not gonna happen.

Lord, it's hot in here.

Your air conditioner working?

Well, yeah, but when it gets like this,

it just don't seem to help a lick.

Probably needs Freon.

Well, I never did like

Sister's mink stole noways.

Gave me the heebie-jeebies

with them glass eyes staring out at ya.

-Of course, she was awful partial to it.

-I know it.

But it's summer, Sissy.

Hot, hot summer. Oh, thank you.

I knew you'd back me on this,

I did. But you know how she is.

- She won't listen to me. Gotta tiddle.

- Well, I--

Thank you.

Ouch.

I'm sorry, G.W., but the vision...

of that poor, pitiful pig's

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