Sordid Lives Page #5

participating in your own recovery.

- I don't have a magic wand.

- I do.

In a drawer back in my room somewhere.

I got it when I was little.

- I used to pretend that

I was Glinda the Good Witch.

- Earl!

- What?

- Could we please just

stay with our session this time?

So sorry.

But, you know, Dr. Eve...

I resent-- I resent you saying that I am

not participating in my own recovery.

I walked right down that hall

without my hair on.

Came in here looking like

something the cat drug in.

Yes, I know.

And that's good, but, Earl...

in three months, 68 sessions,

this is your very first effort.

Well, I don't like to rush into things.

And in my own defense, you did say

I have a severe case of homosexuality.

It's one of the worst I've ever seen.

And with the transvestism--

well, it's very, very complicated.

-Well, I am well aware of that, Dr. Eve.

-Now...

did you try my masturbation exercises?

- Yes I did.

- How did that go?

Well, I--

I did exactly what you

asked me to do.

I started masturbatin'

by fantasizing about a man.

- I thought about

Wardell from back home.

- Of course you did.

Then I switched to a woman.

Good. Good.

Well, at first I--

I couldn't decide who to use.

I thought about using Tammy Wynette,

but, oh, that did not seem right.

I mean, you know,

with her gone, it just--

it's evil and wrong.

Well, Earl, fantasies are very healthy.

Well, not with dead people.

But there doesn't have to be

anything evil or wrong about sex.

Well, that's not what

my mama told me, missy.

I miss my mama.

Um--

I haven't seen Mama in six months...

and four whole days.

My sister LaVonda's been

coming out here to see me.

I know. We've had several

conversations, and we need to

talk about your mama, but not...

- till the end of the session.

- My sister LaVonda's wanting

to get me out of here.

- I know that,

but you're not ready yet.

- When will I be ready?

I've been here for 23 years.

Brother Boy thought he was

Tammy Wynette the last time I seen him.

- About a year ago.

- Before that it was Loretta.

Didn't he used to do Kitty Wells too,

way back when?

Oh, my God.

I had forgotten about that.

""It Wasn't God Who Made

Honky Tonk Angels.''

- [ Laughs ] That is a good song.

- Mm-hmm.

You know, somebody ought to redo that.

I believe that Trisha Yearwood could

just sing the sh*t out of that song.

- You eat with that mouth too?

- Mostly.

Loretta was always my favorite though.

I swear, in that getup

and that big, ol' white gown...

Brother Boy was her spittin' image.

You know, Sissy Spacek could not

hold a candle to Brother Boy's Loretta.

Mm-mmm.

No. She could not.

When he'd pretend to sing along

to those records, you almost forgot.

Lord, he could tear up

""You Ain't Woman Enough

(To Take My Man).''

- Woo-hoo.

- I gotta tell you...

about the only thing

that has kept me sane...

has been my career.

My country queens.

Kitty and Loretta.

Then Tammy came along.

Lord, I felt like

I had found my soul mate.

I followed her rise

all the way to the top.

She had such a rough life.

Oh. Illness after illness

and financial woes.

And George Jones was a drunk.

Mm. Tortured genius.

- Earl.

- Then they exhumed her.

- Earl.!

- What ever happened to ""rest in peace''?

Just dug her up.

Earl, please!

- You always do this.

- Oh.

You get extremely sidetracked

in our sessions, and I truly believe...

it's so you won't

have to face the truth.

You are living your life

vicariously through Tammy Wynette...

- and that is just not healthy.

- Well, somebody has got to

carry on the legacy.

Now that--

Now that she's gone.

Earl, you've been doing this

for over 20 years.

What was your excuse before she died?

My mind's a blank.

Well, it has to stop.

It's just not healthy.

It gets me through this hell.

All right?

Locked up here with a bunch

of Looney Tunes like I'm crazy?

Tammy Wynette gets me through life,

Dr. Eve.

And now you're trying to take her

precious, precious, precious memory

away from me.

I just--

[ Sobbing ]

I don't think I can take it.

- [ Sobbing ]

- [ LaVonda And Sissy Laughing ]

Oh, you remember that year

that Brother Boy was in

the Christmas pageant?

Oh, Lord, yes. He couldn't have

been more than five or six.

And he talked Wanda Jean Hilltop

into switching parts with him.

And Wanda Jean showed up

as a shepherd, and Brother Boy

prissed in as the Virgin Mary.

[ Both Laughing ]

Oh, well, honey...

you know that Wanda Jean

lives with a woman over in Abilene...

and she delivers for the UPS.

Oh, it all tracks back.

- Who cares?

- Me and Sissy.

- Why?

- 'Cause he's my baby brother, Latrelle.

- And I want to get him out.

- Out?

Let's go back

to the masturbation exercises, shall we?

Okay.

Now, when you switched to a woman,

who did you fantasize about?

You.

[ Wheezing Laugh ]

I masturbated...

and I fantasized about you.

Oh.

Well.

Well, well, well.

My. Thank you.

Well, actually,

it didn't turn out so good.

When I switched over to you,

I got kind of nauseous...

and, uh, I don't mean to be ugly, but--

[ Whistles ]

[ Chuckles ] It sort of went south,

if you know what I mean.

I'm sorry.

Oh, that's okay.

Don't worry about it.

- So, did you try again?

- No. I threw up.

Then I wasn't in the mood no more.

You know, Dr. Eve, I think next time

I'm gonna masturbate...

and I'm gonna fantasize about a woman

that's a little bit more masculine.

Um, oh! How about, uh--

What's her name?

Oh, Miss Jane Hathaway

from The Beverly Hillbillies.

She's kind of manly.

Earl, that is not the point.!

Well, I'm sorry.

I'm not quite sure what the point is.

The point is for you

to start fantasizing about a woman.

A real woman. A woman who is

feminine and sexy and all woman.

Not some butch stick of a woman

like Miss Jane Hathaway...

who could be a man in drag,

for all we know.

Well, I don't know about that.

I don't think a man in drag

would go out looking that bad.

I mean, even when Jethro

portrayed Jethrine.

- [ Screams ]

- Oh.

I don't know what to do

with you anymore, Earl.

I'm at my rope's end. I try and I try

to make progress-- and nothing!

You are not participating

in your own recovery!

- I called the institution this morning.

- You what?

- You called 'em?

- Called 'em. He needs to

know about Mama.

They said that now that Mama was dead

that you and me are responsible.

If we sign the proper papers,

we can get him out. He can live with me.

I just think that he ought to be here

for his own mama's funeral.

I think LaVonda might be right.

Well, I don't. We can't have Brother Boy

at the funeral. He'll be a spectacle.

Mama's death is enough of

an embarrassment without having

Brother Boy at the funeral.

- In case you're forgetting,

he's crazy.

- Brother Boy is not crazy.

There's something wrong

with him up here,

and you know it.

I'm not sure what's wrong with him

is up there.

The only thing wrong with him,

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