Sorority Boys Page #2

-- Oh, yeah. No more free ass!

Show us the strut, son.

Strut. Strut. Strut.

Strut. Strut. Strut.

Strut. Strut. Strut.

Strut. Strut. Strut.

Strut. Strut. Strut.

Strut. Strut. Strut. Strut.

Hey, Dave, did they|make you do the strut?

Yeah.

John Kloss is gonna|be there this year. My dad|set up an interview for me.

What?

-- Awesome, dude.|-- Oh.

You get the job with|Kloss, you turn around,|you hire us. We're set.

Dude, I'm not gonna|get the job with Kloss

if he thinks I stole money|from K.O.K.,

and neither are you.

Oh, thanks for dragging me|down with you.

We just need to prove|that Spence stole the money.

Well, although|I hardly feel like

this is the appropriate time|to bring it up,

what about|the videotape, man?

What videotape?

The videotape of Adam|humping the Tri Pis, man.

Hmm?

Doofer,|what are you saying?

Well, I'd just finished|studying for some school

when I noticed Adam's|speaker was tipped over.

On the floor was|a little video camera

rigged|to a motion detector.

I found a thing.

I noticed that its|input cable had come loose,

so I carefully traced it|to its source.

I got a thing.

It led to a metal footlocker|at the bottom of Adam's closet,

which was, you know,|already unlocked.

lnside, I found|a videocassette recorder.

Well, naturally, since|it was his private property,

I didn't touch anything.

You could see the safe|right by his bed.

You were watching my tape?

No.

-- You're a pervert! You're a|pervert! You're a pervert!

No, no. Hey, hey, hey. Come on.|Come on. This is great.

Look, Spence is gonna be|on videotape.

Look, we need to|sneak back into the|house, get the tape,

and we're back in K. O.K.,|all right?

Well, how do we get|in, Dave? Tonight's|the "all trim" party,

and the only thing walking|through that door is tits.

I got a plan.

Jeez-ass!

-- Mmm...|-- ## Oh, yes,|it's ladies night ##

## And the feeling's right ##

Um...hi.

We're here for the, um,|K. O.K. "all trim" --

I mean...|"all girl" party.

## Y'all got one ##

Move.

## From New York to Hollywood ##

Act normal.

## It's ladies night ##

All right,|you get the tape.

We'll split up. Okay?

Okay.

## Oh, yes, it's ladies night ##

## Oh, what a night ##

## Oh, yes, it's ladies night ##

Hey, nonny-nonny.

Excuse me.|ls this your room?

It is now...

since I'm the new head|of the social committee.

Did Little Red Ridinghood|lose her way

to Grandma's bathroom?

Yes.

I have to tinkle.

So, tell me your name,

and I won't|follow you home tonight.

Uh...Dina.

What?

Adina. My name is Adina.|What are you doing?

Oops.

It gets a lot bigger.

I gotta go!

This barrel thingy|isn't working.

Yeah, it's, like,|total foam.

Just like a man --

always laying around|while we do all the work.

Right, ladies?

Why don't you go back|to your cave?

Twat.

Any sign of Adam?

No.

Jimmy moved into|our old room.

-- I couldn't get past him.

-- This dress|is too goddamn tight.|-- Well, I told you.

Yeah, well, you don't have|the best selection when you|shop at Goodwill, all right?

Dogcatcher!

-- F***in' love this.

See ya later,|big fat uglies!

Yeah!

Frat a**holes!

Oh, I hate them!

Just because you guys|are plus-size girls,

it doesn't mean|they have to be so mean.

Oh, are you okay? God.

Well, we gotta go.

Oh, wait, wait,|wait, wait.

Have you guys|pledged a house,

or -- or do you --|do you want anything?

No. Come on.|Well, are you hungry?

## Girl ##

## You'll be a woman soon ##

So, where did you girls|say you were from again?

-- Newbury.|-- Bermuda.|-- Minnesota.

Well, we -- we transferred.

Well, um...good.

We're -- we're in the middle|of a membership drive.

Yeah -- free room and board|your first semester

if you pledge D.O.G.

But -- but no pressure,|really.

Are you sure|we should let them in?

They're a real|pack of barkers.

That is exactly|the type of attitude

that we have to fight|against, Susie.

I mean, D.O.G.|doesn't give in to...

media images of|what a woman should be.

We need to welcome|all types.

Let's pledge.

Yeah, good one.

No, it's only one night.

No, we take care|of business, and|we're back in K.O.K.

No f***in' way.

Doofer,|what do you think?

I pledged|20 minutes ago, man.

Come on in.

Here we are.

Ohh!

It's fully furnished,

compliments of|last year's seniors.

But it --|it's nothing fancy.

Make yourselves at home.

This place is so clean.

Ooh, candles.

Welcome to|Delta Omicron Gamma.

Whoo.

Ooh.

This place is great.

Look, let's at least|join Tri Pis,

where there's something|to look at.

Look at us. We're not|exactly Tri Pi material.

Yeah? Well, what|about clothes? We don't|have any more money!

Don't worry|about it, man.

There's all kinds of|leftover sh*t in here.

Oh, my God, man.|Look at this little handbag.

This'll go perfect|with my shoesies.

Holy --

So, most of us|know each other|from last semester,

but there are|a few new faces.

So let's go|around the room

and share something|about ourselves.

I'm Leah,|house president.

And...as most of you know,

I can get a little serious|about things.

Maybe even a little|too serious.

That is so true.|lsn't it, girls?|lsn't it? lsn't it?

Sure it is. Sure it is.

So, h-how 'bout you?

My name is Adina,|and I like sports --

football mostly.

Great...

Adina.

How about you?

Well -- well,|my name's Daisy.

That's a pretty name.

Oh, thank you.

I was named after|my grandmother's sister

on my mother's side.

And I have to agree|with what you were|saying before.

You know, I look around|campus, and I see the way|that guys treat women.

And as a woman,|you know, I'm not|asking for anything

other than the respect|that any normal person|deserves, you know?

Yeah.

Hi.|I -- I am an exchange|from France, no?

I love your American way.

Those skyscrapers and --|and -- and the baseball.

Ohh! And -- and those|toilets that flush.

That's brilliant.

A-A-And I-I try

and get boys to like me,

and -- and they run|away, and I try and|run after them,

but I can't 'cause --|'cause -- 'cause one leg's|shorter than the other!

It's because of my voice,|isn't it?!

No, not at all.

Not at all.

You guys are super-duper!

Um...

My name is Patty.

Hi.

And as you can see,|I'm a giant.

I just want to fit in...

to anything.

M-My clothes...

My car.

I'm a very gentle person.

You're beautiful to us,|Patty.

Thanks.

That helps.

Okay, that leaves one other|girl that we haven't...

heard from.

Would you like to share|something personal

with the group...

Robert...a?

Roberta.

Um...personal?

Mm-hmm.

Well, um...|my name is Roberta.

And...

I'm addicted to porn,|and I masturbate constantly.

Pillow fight! Pillow fight!

Oh!

Roberta, stop! Stop!

Finally.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

-- Hello?|-- Uh...

Yeah?

Who is that? I don't|have my contacts on.

Oh, it's, uh...|it's me --

Daisy.

Oh.

I hope you saved me|some hot water.

Wow.

What?|Ow...

Ow. I-I-I got|a little soap in my eyes.

Oh, God. This warm water|feels so good.

Uh-huh.

Ooh!

Well, I'm clean.

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