Sorority Boys Page #6

one...more...time.

What do we do?

Get out...of the way.

This should be|the last play of the game.

Hike!

Aaaaahh!

Ugh!

Yaah!

Patty!

Hyah!

Who's number one?!

D.O.G.!

Fat ass!

It's true.

Sports does improve|self-esteem.

Leah's the first girl I met|I could really talk to.

Maybe I should|just tell her.

No! Not after what|we've been through, man.

Come on.|Eyes on the prize, Dave.

We're almost|out of this.

Watch it, dog!

You watch it,|plastic tits.

Oh!

Do you believe|that b*tch?

You going back|to the house?

I gotta stop and get|some more lipstick, man.

Yeah, I'll go with you.|I need a new dress.

Oh, hi.

Can I help you|find some-- ugh!

Uh, hi.

I'm going to a very big,|important party tonight,

and I need to look|absolutely perfect.

Can you tell me which|shade of lipstick|looks best on me?

Um...uh...

Um, oh...

Maybe the orange.

Orange. What|an excellent suggestion.

E-- Hello?

Hello? Hello?

So, once we get the tape|off the boat, then what?

We show it at the|national chapter meeting|tomorrow morning,

we bust Spence's ass,|we return to K.O.K.,

and we roll our wieners|back out.

W-Well -- what do I --|what do I tell Leah?|I mean, what happens to Daisy?

Daisy, Adina, and Roberta|are going to disappear.

And this...never happened.

Well, I have to tell Leah|something.

Tonight, Daisy could|tell Leah that she's|going back to Minnesota.

Oh, that's so stupid.|That's such a cop-out.|Come on.

Ah. I'm sure this would|look good on an anorexic.

Why can't they|design dresses

for girls who need to hide|a big caboose?

You know,|you really don't have a --

Oh! Please be a size 8.|Please be a size 8.

Yes!!

D.O.G.!

Whoo!

Whoo!

No DO Gs allowed!

Yeah, you fat cows!|Whoo!

We were stupid to believe|we'd ever get on that boat.

Ay-ay-ay-ayooh!

That's our party!

And we're going.

All right?

I've got a plan.

Nothing beats the sea air

whistling up my dress,|ladies.

## Whoo ##

## Sugar pie, honey bunch ##

Oh, yeah.

Hello.

This way to the|little girls'|room, right?

Yes,|it's right that way.

Oh!

Where's that kid of yours,|anyway?

Let's get this over with|so I can go tomcatting.

He's around here|somewhere.

## Come and you go ##

Whoo!

Yo, bro,|why am I dancing with you?

## I'm tied|to your apron strings ##

Dude, I don't know.

## And there's nothing|that I can do ##

D.O.G.s in the hi-ouse!

Mm-hmm.

Ha ha ha ha!

Adina.

Where did|all the Tri Pis go?

Hey.

Let's dance.

Mr. Kloss, Spence Rivington,

president of K.O.K.,|class of zero-two.

-- Hello, son.|-- Listen, sir...

I heard you're trying to fill|a position in your company,

and I have to tell you,|I'm like the beer in the mug.

I'm the guy|to fill your position.

I...know this|isn't easy for you.

Oops.

It's not easy for me|either, but, um...

I'm willing to commit|if you are.

One second, son,|all right?

We're trying to watch|a little girl party|over here, okay?

No, um...

I love lesbos.

Sorry.

Um...

You know, uh...

I've decided I'm moving|back to Minnesota.

But...we can, uh...

we can still be together...|in a different way.

I mean, I'm -- I'm --|I'm moving, but|I'm not moving.

I don't understand you.

You know, we can talk|all night when we're alone,

but we go out|in public, and you're|a different person.

I can't do this, Leah.

I thought dating a|girl would be easier|than dating a guy.

It's the same story.

Care to dance?

Oh, I don't think --

No.

Davey! John Kloss.

I thought that was you.

So, your dad tells me

you'll be a valuable member|of team Kloss.

Oh, absolutely. Yes.

Good!

Because we start every day|promptly at 10:00 A.M.

Welcome aboard, son.

All right.

Let's go upstairs.

There's a tall,|dark-haired beauty|with an ass like an apple

I can't wait|to sink my teeth into.

I know the one.

Aah!

Relax! It's me.

What are you doing?|I'm hiding from Jimmy.

Shut the door!|Shut the door! Come on!

Hey, where's Doofer?

Looking for your tape.

Yeah?|Did you talk to Kloss?

-- I got the job.|-- Are you serious?

-- And I can pick my own staff.|-- Oh! Oh, yeah!

-- Bonus once a year!|-- Oh, that's great, man!|Great!

Minnesota, huh?

Leah, wait.

No, no, no, no, no,|no, no, no. Let her go.

We still got work to do.

Excuse me.

How would you like|to go to bed with|a very rich man?

Ow!

Oh!

You see that one|over there?

-- Yeah.|-- Yeah.

Got a real attitude|on her.

What do you say we play|a little dogcatcher?

For old times' sake?

Dogcatcher!

Ow! Let go of me!

Leah!

Put her down!

Leave her alone,|you f***ing d*ckheads!

Piss and sh*t!

Careful, now!

Piss and sh*t!|Piss and sh*t!

One...

Two --

Stop!

Put her down.

Hold on, darling.|You'll get your chance.

One...

Two --

Dad!

David?

Dave?

Yeah.

Good Lord, Daisy.

You look like a man.

Oh, Leah, I can explain.

Give us another chance!

I can live with the fact|that you don't love me,

but maybe with time,|you could learn to --

Hey!

It ain't gonna happen.

I'm a dude.

Bro?

Dude, you plugged|your big bro!

Ow!

Ow!

There's mutiny afoot.

Convene the High Council.

We must punish these thieves

to the full extent|of the original charter.

Any last words, gentlemen?

Yeah.

Hey, you see those girls|out there?

Well, you guys treat them|like garbage.

Why?

What, so you can feel|like real men?

You all should be ashamed|of yourselves.

You know, I learned more|in one week at D. O. G.

than I learned in four years|at K.O.K.

And after seeing myself|through their eyes,

I don't want to be a KOK|anymore.

No?

That's sweet.

ls that all?

You just wait a minute,|there, puffy head.

What's that?

Oh, nothing --|just a little videotape

of you stealing the money|out of that safe!

He's bluffing.

No. No. No, he's not.

Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

ls this it?

No, I don't think it is.

It's all right.

Waa-ha-ha!

See? He lied.

Just a pathetic|stall tactic.

Look!

I'll teach them|to humiliate me.

That's not me.

I'll show them who has|real class, because now|I've got all the money.

Who's got the class now?

Not you. Not them.

John -- uh, I mean,|Mr. Kloss, I can|explain everything --

-- Tell it to the High Council.|-- It's time to get even.

Boo-la. Boo-la.

Boo-la. Boo-la.

-- Boo-la.|-- Boo-la. Boo-la. Boo-la.

-- No, not the mice! No!|-- Boo-la. Boo-la.

-- Aaaaaaaahh!|-- Boo-la. Boo-la.

Boo-la. Boo-la.

My collarbone!

Do you promise to|faithfully administer|the office of presidency?

Yup.

And do you solemnly|swear to uphold the|values of brotherhood?

Yeah.

Do you promise to|maintain the superior|social traditions

of Kappa Omicron Kappa,|forsaking all others?

No.

That's cool.

Hi.

I quit the house.

I'm so happy for you.

Listen, I know you can never|trust me after what I did,|but I'm glad it happened.

What?

Under normal circumstances,

we never would have gotten|to know each other.

I mean, let's face it --|you had me pigeonholed as|a certain kind of person,

and the same was true|about me.

So that's why I'm glad|it happened,

'cause you're a person|I can talk to.

I wasn't afraid|to tell you things

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