Sorority Row Page #3

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You taste like vomit.

That's because I threw up before.

But I ate a mint, so you're fine.

Oops! I forgot to wear underwear.

And it's really cold down there.

Maybe you could warm it up for me?

This whole thing's kind of grossing me out.

Whatever. Move it, loser.

Not my fault you're gay.

This has been the best four years

of our lives.

The best five years for some of us.

Not mentioning any names.

Becky Reed.

We have this luncheon every year

to celebrate the long-lasting ties

of sisterhood.

And to remember that our motto,

"Trust, respect, honor,

secrecy and solidarity,"

are truly words that last a lifetime.

As you can see by looking

at the east wing of the house,

renovations are getting underway.

So the house, like our sisterhood,

will be stronger than ever.

We have our beloved housemother to thank

for all of her hard work

on getting this done.

Thank you, Mrs. Crenshaw.

Thank you.

However, as happy as this day is,

there's still one whom we cannot forget.

One of our sisters is still missing.

And we hope and pray

that she will come back to us.

To Megan.

No frigging way.

We love and miss you always.

Well, as you can see, some of us

are still a little overwhelmed by it all.

Okay, who up and faints anymore?

It's okay. I told them it was the heat.

- It was Megan. I know it was her.

- It was her sister, dumbass.

And might I say, you played it real cool.

Hi. I'm so sorry.

I did not mean to scare you, Ellie.

How'd she know my name?

I'm Maggie. I met you before.

All of you. When I was 15.

Right. You're bigger. You've grown up.

I decided I'm coming to Rosman next year.

I think it's important for my sister.

You know, some closure.

And I think it'd be good

for my parents, too, so...

So, how are they doing?

Okay. They couldn't come today.

It's still way too hard.

But I didn't want to miss it.

Anyways, I just wanted to come by

and say hello

and let you guys know that I'm gonna be

rushing Theta Pi next year.

I'm gonna be sick.

We'd be lucky to have you.

Um, you guys having a party tonight?

Yeah. Yeah. You know,

you should totally come.

Wait, no, you're rushing next year

and that violates Greek rules of recruiting.

Well, I won't tell if you guys won't.

Well, we have to go.

Sorry about tonight, but I'll tell you what,

I will personally see to your future

as a Theta Pi next year.

- Okay.

- Okay.

- Nice to meet you guys.

- You, too.

Friend me on Facebook, I'll totally confirm.

- Bye.

- Bye.

Was it just me,

or was that girl all sorts of creepy.

Can't imagine why.

No way she's getting in with that outfit.

Who is ready to party?

That would be me.

That would be me.

That's what I was looking for.

- Hey, babe.

- Hey.

- Hi, you.

- Hi.

Chugs, your mom? Smoking.

I would definitely have

a sip of that MILF-shake.

- Hey!

- If I wasn't dating you, of course, Claire.

Okay, we have two hours

before this place is packed.

I got to get to my shrink. Score some Oxys.

Hey, you think if you blow him,

you can get enough for everyone?

- Kyle, excuse me.

- What? I'm serious.

I wish it were that painless. Unfortunately

for me, he's more of an ass man.

Okay, you guys, it's on.

Tonight we bring the house down.

That we do.

Kyle, can you and Mickey

go get some decorations from the cellar?

- Yeah. Let's do it.

- Yeah, we can do that.

- Thanks. Bye.

- Bye.

- You are so whipped.

- Speak for yourself, pretty boy.

It's Ellie's.

What? Oh, my God.

- Who sent this?

- What the hell?

- Oh, my God.

- Is this a joke?

Garret! I'm gonna kill him.

Garret? What the f*** is this, Chugs?

It's a joke. It's a really bad joke.

This is beyond sick.

Okay. Why would Garret do this?

I can think of a reason. He's gone psycho

and he wants to kill us all.

Hey, he's not...

Guys! Look, I know my brother.

Okay, yes, he's sort of

lost his way, but I know him, okay? And...

Look, he developed

this weird sense of humor

since the accident,

and this is just his way of saying...

Oh, happy graduation? That's real funny.

What the hell are we gonna do?

Nothing. That's why delete was invented.

- Hey, guys.

- Delete it, Claire.

So, now all we have to do

is get rid of Crenshaw

and get this place ready for the party.

Ellie, can you be in charge

with freshman cleaning up the place?

If Cassidy helps me.

I'm not...

Please don't say you're not coming.

How is that gonna look?

I don't care how it looks.

To be honest, Jessica,

I don't really care if we get caught.

I just don't want to share a cell with you.

Don't act all holier than thou.

You could have gone to the cops

if you really wanted to.

- Hey.

- What you doing?

Careful what you say, I just pinned you.

Hey, I'm just updating my Facebook.

I just wrote,

"Andy has just graduated

and can't wait to take his girl fishing."

I told you, I'll go to your parents,

if you and your dad catch the fish,

your mom cooks the fish and I eat the fish.

- It's not that complicated.

- Lazy! God!

- Hey.

- To think, I was gonna ask

if you wanted to come to Europe with me

this summer.

Look, Andy,

there's some things

you really don't know about me.

Hey, if it's the morning breath,

trust me, I know.

No, I'm being serious.

I'll tell you everything tonight

on the way to your parents.

And I just have one more favor.

I've kind of been sucked

into this thing at Theta.

Would you mind coming with me

to the house

just for the beginning of the party,

and then we can leave?

- Yeah. Anything for you.

- You're the best.

Really. You're the most wonderful thing

in my life.

And I'd do anything for you.

Really? Well, we'll test that theory tonight.

- Okay, I'll see you in an hour.

- Cool. Bye.

Okay, ladies,

I know the rules.

You get the house to yourself

the last night you spend in Theta Pi.

And I trust that you will show this place

the same respect

that you've shown me the past four years.

- Of course.

- That was a joke.

Now I know that during your time here,

I was forced to give most of you

a write-up or two.

But trust me, for every boy

that I threw out of here,

there were five times I knew about it

and didn't say one thing.

And sometimes there were five boys

in one night. Right, Chugs?

I have a lot of areas that need attention.

I don't know.

- Slut!

- What are you looking at?

Anyway, I hope, as you girls prepare

to go out into the world,

that the things that you've learned

here in Theta Pi

will always help to guide you

to do the right thing.

And now, to make sure

you don't forget me or each other,

a little gift.

I'm sorry. It's really nice.

There are 22 links in each chain.

One for every graduating Theta Pi senior.

When you wear these bracelets,

you will always remember

just how strong the bonds

of sisterhood are.

- Thank you.

- Please!

Okay, I'm out of here.

- You girls behave yourselves.

- We will.

Well, screw it. That'll never happen.

Just make sure you don't hurt yourselves

or the house. All right?

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