SOS: Save Our Skins Page #2

I'd like more information!

I never thought I'd be pleased

to get a sales call...

Hey, we could light a fire!

We could do smoke signals,

get a message out to someone.

Oh, cool. So we are staying?

No...

but we are sending a message.

Okay, just leave it to me.

Can't I say anything?

Just be natural.

Actually, don't be natural.

Well, I want to say stuff.

What stuff are you going to say?

I'll explain what's happened

and ask people to contact us.

Just leave it to me.

All right.

This is an SOS.

We don't know what's happened,

but everybody's disappeared.

There are no people, no police,

there's nobody.

If anyone can see this message,

please get in touch...

Will you stop eating that ham?!

- What's that?

- Shh!

Mm!

- Maybe it's the police?

- Mm!

We should investigate.

What do you think?

Mm!

Maybe it's another Hoover.

Hello?

Do you think we're

in the Matrix,

and there are, like,

robots using us as batteries?

Humans would be terrible batteries.

Yeah, you're right...

They would have been better off

using actual batteries!

That'll be locked.

You don't know that.

It's locked.

Do you know that convention

we went to in Germany,

- we got talking to that ewok?

- Oh, yeah.

I saw him in the toilets, actually.

He had an enormous -

It's not locked.

Hello?

It's Ben and Stephen...

It's like they just vanished.

There was a woman staying here.

- How can you tell?

- I just can...

...and there's a pair

of high heels there.

Just my luck!

I barge into a woman's hotel room

and she's been kidnapped by aliens!

Aliens now, is it?

Yeah, I reckon it's aliens.

They'll be asleep underground

like those ones in War of the Worlds.

That's ridiculous.

I've always said -

the War of the Worlds?

Metal detectors!

They'd be discovered right away!

There's nothing of any use in here.

Whoa!

No, Ben, this!

It's a taser.

Oh, yeah, cool.

I have no idea

how you use a taser.

I think you just point and shoot.

She's in the shower!

What if there's a hot,

naked blonde in the shower?

I can't hear anyone.

What if she's dead?

What if there's a hot, naked blonde

dead in the shower?

Hello?

Are you a naked woman?

Just point and shoot, yeah?

- Let me do it.

- No, you'll shoot me!

Open the curtain.

One, two...

Don't shoot me Three!

I'm not using that again...

I told you

you should let me do it.

- Let's search the other rooms.

- Yeah...

- You take this corridor.

- Fine.

- I'll take the next.

- Sure.

- Let's meet back in ten.

- Okay...

Let's not waste any time.

- I'll start from room 50 onwards!

- Yeah, go for it.

Whoa!

Oh, finally!

You part of the convention?

You like what you see?

You like that?

Yeah, that's right...

You want to see what's down here?

Yeah? Yeah?

Oh, yeah, that's good...

Run, Ben!

Get our effects and run!

U I q

U I q

Hold the door!

Hold the door!

Which buttons open the doors?!

Open the doors!

Open the doors!

- Close the doors!

- I'll push all of them!

Close the doors!

Stephen?

Yes, Ben?

Was he part of the convention?

I don't think so, no.

'Cause as monsters go,

he was very realistic.

He was.

He really was.

I'd take a throw at saying

he was an actual monster.

I thought you said

this was a three-star hotel!

They shouldn't have monsters

in a three-star hotel.

We should leave

a comment on their website.

Ben?

Yes, Stephen?

What are you wearing?

Wait, wait!

We're not stopping.

We need to get out of here!

- Five minutes.

- What for?

I really need to use the toilet.

Please call me as soon

as you get this message.

Miss you. Bye.

There's a whole suite in that toilet.

Here, use this.

So... about that blue monster.

I've been thinking...

What was it?

I've no idea.

I don't intend to wait for it to find us.

That's it, then?

A blue monster's escaped from a lab

and it's on the loose. Simple!

That doesn't explain

where everyone is.

Now, get as many supplies as you can.

What if the airport's not open?

What if there's no one there, either?

- This is why we need guns!

- Shh!

No way! Buy two bags

of popcorn, get one free?

Shut up!

Ben, just stay quiet.

Okay.

Hello?

Oh, hello there.

I just came in to get my dinner.

Would you like to join me?

Come on in.

That's an interesting smell.

It smells like mushrooms.

Thank you very much.

So, do you live here alone?

Oh, no.

There's a rat.

What, like a pet rat?

No.

At least there aren't any slugs.

Yeah, the rat probably ate them.

Come on in.

I'll put some coffee on.

There...

Got some nice coffee for you.

Thank you very much.

It's really good to

see another human.

We thought everybody

had disappeared.

So, what do you know?

Well, let's see...

I'm pretty good at crosswords.

I read a book once...

You ever read a book?

Yeah, Batman.

No, I mean, what can you

tell us about what happened?

Where is everyone?

Oh, that.

That's easy.

Cookie?

- What brand of cookies are they?

- Shut up.

So, where is everyone?

Well, it's the government.

It's always the government.

UFOs?

Government.

Mind-control? Government.

People going missing?

Government.

So you're saying the government

has evacuated everybody?

I knew it!

Not evacuated... Kidnapped.

Turned them all into slaves.

That doesn't make sense.

Besides, we just got chased by,

like, a blue monster.

What was that?

A what?

I saw this thing...

Like a blue man-ster.

- "Man-star"?

- Ah?

You just said "man-ster."

No, I didn't.

I saw a blau man-ster.

Monster.

Excuse me. Where's your bathroom?

Down the hallway on the left.

Okay.

I've got a funny tummy...

So let me get this straight...

You think the govelly nut's

kidnapped every bobby.

I don't get it.

Yeah, something like that...

What? A pair of legs!

They can't make everyone into slugs,

or where would they put everybody?

You don't need to

worry about that.

But how am I going to get home?

I'm going to try one of these biscuits.

Biscuits...

I've got ten hands!

My flink-ers are blurry.

Ben thinks it's gryphons.

Everything's fine.

I think you should drink

your coffee, as well.

It'll make you feel... nice.

Mm, delicious!

Go on.

Let's have a cooie.

No, thanks.

I don't want one.

Don't eat it! It's an ear!

It's an ear!

It's a who?

It's an ear.

Heh, good cookies, ears. Chewy.

Just thinking of

making a fresh batch.

My legs...

Come on, get up!

I've become a jelly man.

Come on!

A jelly man...

Stand up!

He's trying to kill us!

Come on, we've got to run!

Actually, cancel the run.

We can just walk.

He's really old.

Get off!

I've taken up cabinets...

Get off!

Here we go!

We have to go!

This is a funny dream.

This is not a dream!

What happened?

Well, James Bond got shot

and then he fell off a bridge.

But then it turns out he's alive

and he got into a lady's shower

without asking,

and he took an old lady

to the farm where he grew up.

It's a bit far-fetched.

No, what happened

to that old man?

Oh, he tried to eat us

and then the blue monster

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