Soul Men Page #3

Where a n*gger could disappear

and where nobody'd

miss his black ass.

Well, let me see that gun.

Let me see it!

Be careful, fool.

You don't think I know

how to hold a gun, man?

I'm a member of the NRA, man.

Ohh!

Where's... Now, what's... God damn it!

Oh! Sh*t!

- Damn!

- Ohh!

Drive! Drive!

God damn it it, drive!

- Ohh!

- Help me!

Aaahh!

Grab the wheel, fool!

- Look out!

- Now, turn! Turn!

Ohh!

What the hell is wrong with you!

Don't shoot no gun in a car!

You said... The safety

wasn't on there.

Safety, my ass!

Safety wasn't...

Ohh...

NRA!

Negro Retards' Association!

Dumb motherf***er.

What the f*** is that?

R- E-S-P-E-C-T.

Been a long time

since we saw our name in lights.

What our name doing up in lights?

We're at the Apollo Theater

this weekend.

We ain't been on stage

in over 30 years.

Now, the last thing you want to do

is stink up the joint. Am I right?

And I got us free dinner to boot.

Man, we sure are lucky

I kept these threads.

Do we look good!

Better hope that button

don't pop off and kill nobody.

God damn, I wish these pants

weren't squeezing my nuts so tight.

Maybe it'll help you

hit those high notes.

I don't need help

hitting the high notes.

Yeah, right. We'll see. We'll see.

Ha ha! Busting out.

Ladies and gentlemen,

tonight, the Flagstaff Motor Inn

is proud to present

to you back onstage

for the first time

in nearly three decades

the unforgettable

sweet soul sounds of...

The Real Deal!

Whoo!

# Don't you ever #

# Be sad #

# Lean on me #

# When times are bad #

# When the day comes #

# And you are down #

# In a river of trouble #

# And are about to drown #

# Just hold on #

# I'm coming #

# Hold on #

# I'm coming #

# On my way #

# Your lover #

# When you be cold #

# I'll be your cover #

# Don't have to worry #

- # 'Cause I'm here #

- Yeah.

# No need to summon me there #

# 'Cause I'm here #

# Yea-ah #

# Hold on #

# I'm coming #

Yipes!

# I'm coming #

# Just hold on #

# I'm coming #

# Just hold on #

# I'm coming #

Look here. Reach out to me

for some satisfaction.

You know, Floyd, all she got to do

# Is call my name #

# For quick reaction #

# Yeah, yeah, yeah #

# Yeah #

Ooh! Aah!

Ooh!

Ooh! Ooh, ooh! Ooh!

Aaah!

Lou, Lou, you all right?

You all right?

I can't breathe!

Louis.

Ohh!

Keep going. Keep going.

I can't breathe.

Ladies and gentlemen,

please forgive us

for this technical difficulty.

Ow!

Aah!

F***ing eye, man!

I'm sorry, man.

I got on these tight slacks!

Well, then, I'll sue your fat ass!

You sue these nuts.

- Go on, get on outta here.

- Jesus!

Take it from the top.

How are we gonna

take it from the top?

- I'm revved up to go, man,

- You can't hardly breathe.

- You may need a chest X-ray.

- I'm good!

Is there a doctor in the house?

I love you, Debbie.

Get off me, Ernest T!

Lou. Lou. Lou. Calm down, man.

Ain't but 12 motherfuckers out here, man.

It's still a audience!

I don't care if it's two or three.

It's a audience.

That's what I'm talking about.

Your attitude is f'd up.

Same thing that messed us up

back in the day.

No. You know what f***ed our sh*t up

back in the day?

No. I don't know.

Oh, you know goddamn well

what f***ed our sh*t up back in the day.

- Oh, I do, huh?

- Yes, you do!

What f***ed our sh*t up

back in the day

was you sticking your johnson

in my woman!

Ooh.

Ladies and gentlemen,

I'm Floyd Henderson.

This fool is Louis Hinds.

We are The Real Deal,

and that's for real.

I want to thank you for being

a super audience here tonight.

Motherf***er.

I'm sorry I hit you, Debbie. Come back.

Shut the f*** up,

or I'll knock your dick in the dirt.

Drunk son of a b*tch.

Ohh...

# Happy #

Hey, Louis, are we gonna talk

about last night,

or we just gonna let it fester?

All right. Well, I was

a little rusty, okay?

That's a insult to rust, ain't it?

Well, what about you,

motherf***er?

Last night, look like you were

stuck in cement.

I had a hip replacement, Louis.

Well, you should've paid

a hundred more dollars

and got the deluxe model

with some rhythm in it.

'Cause that motherf***er you got,

- it ain't working.

- Oh, that's fine, man.

But that's not what we talking about.

I'm talking about Odetta.

Oh.

Louis, if I thought there was still

- gonna be a problem between us...

- You went

where you shouldn't have gone,

period!

Now, there's some sh*t

that's just etched in stone.

First and foremost is

thou shall not dig for diamonds

in another brother's mine!

Bullshit, man. You gotta take

some responsibility here.

You think she didn't know, man,

about all of your smoking

and drinking and drugs

and other women? She knew.

She came running to me

telling, "My man

Louis did this. Louis did that.

Hold me, Floyd. "

All right, well, getting the p*ssy

is one thing.

- You ain't had to marry her.

- What?

You'd have to be a zip-down fool

to let her slide

through your fingers, man.

All right, well, if I'm a fool,

then you are, too.

You think I don't know that?

She hurt my heart, too.

Good!

That's a poor motherfucking comfort.

But it's comfort, nonetheless.

# Every night I'm telling #

# Whoopie #

# Every time you're here, you're making #

- # Whoopie #

- Whool

# Whoopie #

Well, how many times did you say

you was married after Odetta?

Four.

Ohh!

I married this girl named Estelle

to get over Odetta.

Then I married Henrietta.

She wasn't no good for me.

Then I married Josephine.

She definitely wasn't no good for me

because she met Carl.

All right. That's three.

Who was lucky number four?

Her name was Consuelo.

She left me and went back to Cuba.

Ha ha ha!

People actually go back to Cuba?

She said she'd rather

spend the rest of her life

under that dictatorship

than spend another night with me.

How 'bout you?

How come you never got married?

I almost hooked up

with this girl down in the Philippines,

in Manila.

- Wow.

- But, uh, I couldn't learn to speak

Tagalog, and only English she knew

was, "Me love you

long time for two dollar. "

Yeah, I wasn't no good

at relationships after Odetta.

You ever hear from her?

Who, Mai Mai?

No. Odetta.

Oh. No, man.

I heard from her, man.

It was sometime around Christmas.

You know, in that place

she was living in Tulsa. You know?

F*** it.

Pow, pow, pow, pow, pow.

What you doing?

- I saw a coyote.

- Whyn't you put that thing up

before somebody get hurt, man?

How come you think

I don't know how to handle

- no damn piece, man?

- Think?

I know.

Yeah?

Yeah, come f*** with me now, Louis.

Come on. You think I'm soft, huh?

Yeah.

I'll bust one in your ass.

Floyd, you keep f***ing around,

I'm gonna stick that gun

so far up your ass,

you gonna taste gunpowder

every time you talk.

- Well, let me...

- Sh*t!

God damn it!

Louis, that was a accident. I swear.

I'm sweating. My hand's wet.

You all right?

You warm? You hot?

You dizzy? You light-headed?

Louis, I swear I would never want

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes