Soul Plane Page #3

What's goin' on, Muggs? | How you been?

What's up, man?

- How are you, man? | - Ain't nothin' to it but do it.

Nashawn, Captain Mack. | Captain Mack, Nashawn.

My pleasure, brother.

Hey. You're late, man.

Don't worry about me bein' late.

I'm gonna take this hooptie of yours | up another 1,000 feet,

catch me a slipstream, and we | gonna be there five minutes early.

Real slick like hair grease, | but with less mess.

- Can you dig it? | - Hell, yeah, I can dig it.

You really gonna do that?

No, I'm just f***in' with ya.

Y'all two know each other? | He was f***in' with me.

Muggs, I'm really | not playin' right now.

I'm not, Muggs.

I was lookin' at | your resum, man.

I see that you flew | in Desert Storm.

- That's pretty impressive. | - Actually, that's a typo.

I drew over in Desert Storm.

I'm sorry. I didn't.. | what you say?

I was the nigga that drew | the little sayings on the bombs:

"F*** Iraq." "Saddam, eat a dick." | That was me.

Secret agent.

Matter of fact, I ain't even | 'posed to be talkin' about that.

That's classified.

What the f***?! Do you even | know how to fly a plane, man?

I got my wings when I got out.

Got your wings | when you got out?

You right. Plus I ain't really got | another choice right now.

Where's your uniform?

You lookin' at it.

The Mackin' is crackin'. | This is how I come.

I don't wear no square suits.

I'm a player. | We ride spinners.

Ride spinners | and you write on bombs.

That's classified.

I'm gonna tell you what.

Get us there safe. | Can you do that?

You somethin' else, Muggs. | Drew on bombs.

- Excuse me, man, | - Yes, sir.

That's about a b*tch.

- Where the cockpit at? | - You got that bong?

Whole bag of it, Preach.

- I gotta go. | - Do I pay you to talk on the phone?

Look at the captain. | He is too cute.

Hi, Captain.

- At ease, ladies. | - Hi, fly boy.

I just love the look | of a man in uniform.

'Course, I like the look of a man | out of uniform even better.

This is some cool sh*t | fit for a real nigga.

Hey, what's poppin', | my aeronautical hustlers?

Captain Mack, | reporting to duty.

How you doin'. Captain? | I'm Riggs. your flight engineer.

Have you ever met Gaeman?

I just seen one of them | fruity motherfuckers in the hallway.

Nigga was eyeballin' me.

It's Gaeman, I am Leslie Gaeman, | your copilot.

What's happenin'?

It's a very prestigious | African name--

not like "gay man," | two men f***ing together, naked,

- in a bedroom. Not me. | - Whatever, homey.

I like p*ssy like you.

- I can dig it. | - Yeah, you can dig it.

Everybody will be pregnant | by the end of this flight.

Hello.

First class. | Right this way, big daddy.

Welcome to NWA.

Hi. How's everybody?

Good. Wow, this is great!

Oh, y'all are in low class.

- What? | - Low class, straight back.

This is nice, too.

Dad, this actually | isn't that bad.

What kind of UPN operation | is this?

It's not so bad.

All right, here we are.

Row 1 7 Chrysler. | Honey, you sit here.

Thank you.

- Do I have to sit... | - How you doin'?

You're gonna have to, okay? | Thank you.

Let's please | put the divider down.

Do you have an "off" switch? | You need to lower the volume.

Man, you give a black man | some money,

this is how the airline's | gonna look--plush, laid.

It's makin' me feel sexy | already.

This is a sexy plane.

They got it chromed out | with the white leather.

I think this is alligator butt.

Yeah, this is nice.

Little treat for you | before the plane takes off, daddy,

'cause you treat me so right.

You nasty!

Can I help you, sir?

Everything's okay, | I'm just trying to find my seat,

Boy, this a nice plane.

Nice cushion they got | on these new planes.

This must be | one of them 777's.

7574327.

Where my seat? 777.

The president | should fly on this plane.

- Hello, sir. | - Hey, baby, how you doin'?

- I'm gonna show you to your seat. | - That's nice of you, cutie pie.

- Here we are. | - Let me shake your hand.

Come here. Oh, boy! | That's nice. Look at that.

Boy, I can just hear everything.

It's so beautiful in here. | Wait a minute.

Somebody got | some nice perfume on.

Is that | Victoria Don't Tell Nobody?

- No. | - Is that Boujeronee?

Not Boujeronee either.

I like the people | that don't talk back.

Hard to get, I like that.

Cabin attendant?

Yes, sir?

Howdy do. | Where are you, baby?

There you are.

Get me a quadruple cognac | and a cola back.

You know, I'm scared to fly. | I'm used to ridin' buses.

My little nephew | sent me on first class,

because I'm a player.

You smell good, too.

I'm gonna have me some fun | on this plane here.

Okey-dokey. So you're | gonna be in...

You're gonna go ahead | to low class, okay.

- He tasted like chocolate. | - No way.

My God, what's going on?

Get the f*** out!

What is he doing? | Watch him.

Y'all better get his ass!

You ain't goin' nowhere | without us, Osama.

If you gots to go | to the bathroom, we goin' with you.

She holdin' | and I'm shakin', player.

- That's right. | - It's cool, y'all. We got this.

We security up in here. | Look straight.

- Hi. | - Hey.

This first class is incredible.

Girl, this plane is off the hook. | Have you seen the owner?

He's young, black, and from | the pictures I've seen,

he looks so good.

I'm sure he's great.

- Please direct your attention

to the screen in front of you | for a safety video.

What is this?

Now that you got on our plane | and you be listenin'

You better just do as we say | or you'll be missin'

Better put your seatbelt on | or you'll be dyin'

If the plane goes crazy, | then you will not be flyin'

Now we direct you to | the nearest locations

Where you might desire | to exit your vacations

If we lose the pressure, | you'll be chokin'

Or if there's a fire, | then you'll be smokin'

The oxygen we will be providin'

This some black sh*t here.

You're a survivor

- Here we go. | - There we go.

You're a survivor, | you'll keep on flyin'

You're a survivor, | you don't go down there

Honey, what is this?

You're a survivor, | you not be dyin'

You're a survivor, | you'll keep on flyin'

You're a survivor, | you don't go down there

You're a survivor, | you got your fair share

You're a survivor

Whoo, you're a survivor

There's the owner right there.

Hello, everybody. | Welcome to NWA Airlines.

Here at NWA, safety is | a very important part of flying,

but let's be real.

If something goes wrong, | we're all going down, right?

Is that supposed to be funny?

I'm just kiddin'--I'm playin'.

That's why it's our policy | that fun comes first.

So please, sit back, relax, | and enjoy your flight.

You're a survivor.

You are.

Come on, now, stop it.

You got a brother | feelin' like the president.

God bless America.

Giselle?

I gotta get outta here.

Giselle, wait.

Giselle, can you | wait a minute, please?

What, Nashawn?

What do we possibly | have to talk about?

Wow, I mean, you look great.

How you been?

I've been fine. Just fine.

Is that all?

Actually, no, I mean. | I was doin' some thinkin'.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes