Soupe Aux Choux, La Page #2

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Let's go...

So that's it, my old Denre...

Bon voyage!

Shake hands!

Shake hands...

That's it...like this...like this...

And come back soon, La Denre, you're a good guy!

El Glaude! There's a flying saucer in your field!

El Glaude! There's a flying saucer in your field!

Don't scream like that!

I'm telling you...there's a saucer...There! In your field!

What's with your saucer? First, what saucer?

Flying...a flying saucer!

You've never heard of flying saucers?

But they don't exist, flying saucers!

How much do you bet...1 liter?

Three!

Three! You said three liters! Bet's on!

Three liters!

I had to pee...

It was warm, so I said to myself: go pee outside...

...it'll be a change from the potty...

I step out and I see a saucer...

there, in your field!

I couldn't pee anymore and I ran to warn you.

Where is it, your saucer?

So, show it to me...

It's gone...

You had a nightmare...it happens...

What did you eat for supper yesterday?

Pig's foot...

Nothing heavier on the stomach!

So...your flying saucer...pig's foot!

It was...it was white as chrome...

...at least 3 to 4 meters wide...it...

...was round like cow's cheese...

...it was beautiful...like a female's tit...

It was right here...

What are you looking for?

What did you find?... Want a teeny-weeny spade?

Merde! It was here, I'll never forget, it was here!

Here, here,here!

My little Cicisse, you drink too much!

Go to hell!

First you see saucers...

and you end up seeing rats all over your bedspread!

Go to hell, I'm telling you, I didn't have a drop more than usual!

That's it! I'm going back to bed!

I won't spend the night galloping after Martians!

Merde!

And don't forget you owe me 3 liters!

Last night...

...around 1 a.m....

...I felt a pressing need...

and I...

I stepped outside...

and I saw...

...a flying saucer!

Excuse me...

I'm Mrs. Poulangeard's brother...

I'm asking you not to believe one word of her flying saucer story...

She's crazy inside out!

Is that so?

Thank you!

Well...we're going to take down your statement...

Hi, buddy...

He's in, the Chief?

One minute, he's busy.

It won't be too long?

I'm taking down your statement...

Last night...aroud 1 a.m....

...I felt a pressing need...

Is that so?

And...and you saw a flying saucer...

Well, yes...

Last night, at 1 a.m., a resident of Les Gourdiflots, Mrs. Amelie Poulangeard...

...who felt a pressing need...stepped out of her home...

and saw a flying saucer...

Oh, good, she's crazy to the bone!

Precisely!...

If a simpleton sees a flying saucer...

it is quite evident that, a few meters away...

a certified drunk... will be sure to see one too...

...of those saucers!...

Well...go on, you're dismissed...Mr. Chrasse!

Ah, nom de Dieu!

Ah, nom di Diou, for sure...

Well then, old man, they say you've seen a flying saucer...?

Of course I saw it!

Sure, I saw it...

Oh yes!

Did it have stripes or dots?

It...it was polished...

Oh sure! Too polished to be honest...! (French saying)

It was smooth...like a Champagne bucket...

Oh...just get off my back!

It's for you, my Francine, a beautiful geranium...

Well, apart from that, no news...

...What could be new?

When things aren't OK, you've got to cope...

Aah...a Martian dropped in...

No, not a drop...I did drink...I didn't drink at all, I swear!

Ever since you passed away, I haven't had a single "canon" (glass of wine)...

and for the "pern...",well...I'll...OK...good....

OK, listen... see you one of these mornings and have fun!

...have fun!

Can't you think about anything else?

No!

It's eating you, eh?

Sure it's eating me!

I look like an a**hole all over Jaligny!

You always looked like one!

Could be, but now they have reasons...

Shall I tell them that I saw the saucer too...

so that we'll both look like morons!

Oh, you're a good guy, but it's a waste of time...

Come on, have a "canon"!

All right, then I'll hang myself!

You're not going to hang yourself!

My Lulu, better death than dishonor...

You have no right to terminate yourself, Francis!

It's the first time you use my first name...

You have family, neighbors, friends...

I am all of those all by myself!

Ah, you think only of yourself!

I'm going through hell and you don't give a damn!

What you want is for me to be your buffoon, your slave,

so you can make fun of my hump, because I saw a saucer...

Come on, let's have a "canon"!

I'm not thirsty!

I want to be left alone!

Le Bomb!

Le Bomb!

What are you up to?

Le Bomb!

You could answer when I call...

It's to make you worry...

you thought I was black as a lump of coal, hanging from a rope...

You ought to be slapped, you phony...

You'd hit me, wouldn't you...?!

Don't you worry...

You would beat me up, like the gendarmes did...

They beat you up, the gendarmes?

Like a punching-ball...

You know they beat up everybody, the gendarmes...

I...I didn't know...

Oh yes...they get bonuses for that.

Yes, my Glaude, they didn't hesitate to hit a handicapped man...

I'm going to tell the Mayor...

Don't do that!

I forgive them...

they know not what they do.

You! You're making a fool of me!

Well, I'm going to prepare... your little bowtie!

Go ahead, hang yourself, it's ready...

You can swing all you want, deadmeat, it's strong!

You go hang yourself!

I don't march to anybody's whistle...

I'll hang myself whenever I please!

Aaah...Thank you, my little Guillaume!

Come on in for a drink!

I never offer any to your colleagues, their ass is always on fire!

I saw you on your pottie!

Let's have a pot, but not from the same one!

That shouldn't take long!

They say that Le Bomb has seen a saucer...

He's batty...Everybody's making fun of him!

Not surprising!

Now he wants to hang himself!

That's not too good...

Sometimes... they really do it!

Have you finished spying on me, ass-skinned face!

Soon you'll be following me to the toilet, if it goes on!

I don't give a damn about you, I came to see your vegetables!

Well, they're downstairs!

You see, on mine there are slugs...slugs this big!

Eat them, that's what you can do!

Oh, Le Glaude! Help me, I'm dead!

Help me, El Glaude! Oh, nom de Dieu!

I'm coming!

Let me die!

What's happening to you, Le Bomb?

I...I destroyed myself... but the rope snapped!

I broke my kidneys...like crystal!

I'm going to die, Le Glaude!

Ow, my ass hurts!

Oh my God, my ass hurts!

What's the matter?

I can't breathe!

You know...I could've killed myself!

Call the fire brigade!

Why? Are you thirsty?

Oh my God...I feel bad!

You know what? My hump has burst!

My hump has burst, I can't feel it anymore!

No, calm down... it's still there, you won't be disfigured!

It's there?

You see, you're not in a thousand pieces!

Come on, let's go!

Geez, it hurts!

My ass is all sliced up!

My buttocks went into my stomach!

Careful now!

Oh no, not there, Claude, not there!

Oh, my Glaude!

Makes you thirsty to tie a noose round the neck...

Oh, that's so good!

Oh, my Claude, for sure it's the first and last time I ever die!

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