Soupe Aux Choux, La Page #3

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But I was conscious, I saw that flying saucer, I saw it!

With mine own eye's!

We fart, Cicisse!

We fart like the other night!

You need to fart? Is your ass all screwed up?

We have to fart!

Fart already, nom di Diou!

But I'm not up to it...

I'm not in the mood for that!

We have to fart!

Oh, my poor Cicisse...

You shouldn't have done it!

Easy now!

Let me give you a peck!

Another peck!

And another peck!

It's been nights and nights that I've been waiting for you|to come down have a chat with me

with your turkey noises...

I'm here, Mr. Ratinier!

You talk?!

You talk?!

You called me, I came!

I called you... I called you... sort of...

because, in that case, Chrasse called your too!

You called me... more clearly than him!

Nom di Diou, let's guzzle a "canon"!

But... how did you learn our language?

By listening to your people...

every day, every hour, every minute...

I come from planet Oxo...

Really?

A wee little planet, not even mentioned on your maps...

If you knew how happy I am to see you again, my little fellow...!

Me too, Mr. Ratinier!

Listen, it's not because I could be your grandfather that you have to call me Mister...

It's over, calling me Mister...

I'm your age, Mr. Ratinier...

Are you making fun of me, buddy?

Geez, no... I'm 70, like you...

But on Oxo, there's almost no change in us from beginning to end...

It serves no purpose to change your appearance...

Of course, it's useless...

But down here, nobody asks us, we have to go through it...

Take a look at me!

There are others... look!

A little "canon"!

A "canon" is a wee drop of red wine!

I understood that... it's a word that's often used in your language

No thank you, I won't drink a " canon"...

Well, maybe you people don't age much, but you don't have much fun either!

We don't have any fun, as you say...

Not one bit... never!

This is much better than getting your ass kicked!

My soup, please...I'm in a hurry!

I'm on a mission.

Let's go!

Smell that... doesn't it smell great?!

It smells of gardens, it smells of stables...

it smells of the four seasons, it smells of the earth...

the earrrrrrth, the EARRRRTH, "La Denrrrre"...

It smells of the earth after the raining...

Over here, you don't say "the rain", you say "the raining",

because it's even wetter!

The earth... after "the raining"!

That's it... spoken like a true "houmme" (man)!

I speak like a true "houmme"?

Come on, taste this...

It's getting better and better, Le Glaude!

Oh, you called me Le Glaude... that gives me pleasure!

That proves that you're warm all over!

Yes, Le Glaude...

Oh, by the way, how did they find my soup up there?

It has been found... dangerous!

Dangerous?! Nobody has ever died from my soup!

It's the first time I've ever heard anybody say that!

That my soup is potentially lethal!

Don't shout, Le Glaude! It's precisely because it's good that it's dangerous!

I don't get it!

I don't get it at all!

I'm going to explain, Le Glaude...

On Oxo...

we number 10,000 total, not one more, not one less!

and we all live till age 200...

We don't die in the way you understand...

but it would take too long to explain.

Apart from us, on Oxo, there is no animal life.

There is no vegetal life, either.

Not that it's impossible, but it's unnecessary.

We feed on mineral extracts...

You understand, Le Glaude?

So you suck stones...

We form a perfect society,

and that's why we want to make sure

that your soup presents no danger of decadence and sapping our energy.

But since my soup is dangerous, don't touch it!

Why does it bother you, my soup?

And why do you obsess over it?

If we knew that, we wouldn't have created a commission of inquiry!

Do you know, Le Glaude, that your soup is the only thing they talk about, on Oxo?

Really?

Oh yes, Le Glaude!

Ah, it's the picture of my Francine...

on our wedding day...

I had thick hair then, and Francine had pink thighs...

She was beautiful, my Francine...

Don't you think, La Denre, that she was very cute?

Yes, Le Glaude...

They're not all bad, those creatures...

Sometimes you can see in them a glimpse of Paradise...

That happened to me, with Francine...

Tiny glimpses...

She died, God's poor little child...

She was barely 60...

I miss her very much, La Denre...

Come!

You see...I cut a lock from my Francine's hair...

just before they closed the coffin's lid...

When I called you "Le Glaude"...

you told me it gave you..."pleasure"...

What is..."pleasure"?

How would I know?

What kind of question is that?

Pleasure is...pleasure!

It's like soup, red wine...

Would it give you "pleasure" to see Francine again?

Oh! It's not decent to laugh about those matters!

Down here, we respect the dead...

Are you in your right mind?

I'm sorry, Le Glaude...!

My soup!

But tell me, you still have 130 years to live...!

Yes, Le Glaude...and you?

Me? 10 years tops!

That's "shorty"!

Your soup, Le Glaude, I would like to pay for it.

Pay me? I'd like to see that!

Now I'm hurt, La Denre...

To talk about money in my home!

I may not be rich, but I can still offer soup to a guest!

Money?

Yes,money...here it's nickels and dimes!

And we need nickels and dimes over here!

Nickels and dimes?

You know what this is?

It's a golden "louis" (old French coin).

My uncle Anselme gave it to me as a reward for the high-school diploma I never got!

Me neither...the licence for the saucer,

I got it on the fourth try.

You're like me, not too sharp!

Oh, no...can you lend it to me?

Nom di Diou, a little "canon"!

No, Le Glaude...

A little "canon"!

No, Le Glaude...

Half a little "canon"!

No, Le Glaude...

You'll die a twit, and a twit is an idiot!

I know that... I talk like you, Le Glaude, you taught me!

But up there, you have leaders, don't you, in your ant-hill?

We have a Comittee of Heads...

five renewable heads...

Well, when you'll have a drink up your nose...

You'll be the head of all the heads...you'll be the...

BIG HEAD!

Oh...with all your stories you've completely screwed up my mind. I'm pooped!

I won't see you off...leave the barn open...

Au revoir, My Glaude, you're a good guy!

You too, my old "Denre"!

Oh, you'll be back soon...?!

Yes, my Glaude!

Hey, La Denre...don't forget my "louis" has a return address...!

Yes!

But...but... I'm telling you...

it... it was 3:
00 a.m....and...

and... and...

One, two, three...

Well... what about it?

OK, let's go!

Yes...as I was saying, it was 3:00 a.m....

as I felt a pressing need...

I run out into the garden...

and what do I see?

a...a flying saucer!

Yes... but it wasn't like the one of the other day...

and then a man stepped out of it, holding a milk can...

and Le Glaude, he was there...

I mean Mr Ratinier, as you call him...

and they...and they... they hugged each other...

and then they ate... cabbage soup!

You've been resurrected, poor old woman...!

Le Glaude!

Le Glaude!

Le Glaude!

Someone out there?

Who... is it...?

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