Soupe Aux Choux, La Page #4

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Don't be afraid, it's me!

La Francine!

Open up, Le Glaude, it's not warm...

It... it's not possible!

Here I am...

I can see...

It doesn't scare you too much?

I...I just can believe you're talking to me and you're here!

Let's not try to understand...

we'd go mad!

You're so beautiful, my Francine!

I forgot how beautiful you were!

Don't make fun of me...at my age...

It's not right to laugh at someone who comes back from where I come...

I'm still shaking all over...

Wait...wait...

Look, La Francine...

See how beautiful you are...

Oh La Francine, oh La Francine...!

Vinegar! Vinegar!

Where's the vinegar?

Goddamit, where is it...?

Oh mother...oh mother...!

This isn't the time to faint!

My little, little Francine...do you feel better?

I'm here...Le Glaude...Le Glaude...

Don't you recognize me anymore?

Yes...but how old you are!

Wait...see how beautiful you are!

You're not going to cry...?!

I'm so happy!

Didn't I tell you you were beautiful?

There...easy...

I'm beautiful!

Yes, you're beautiful!

Very beautiful!

Very beautiful!

It's wonderful to be 20!

I'm sure it's not unpleasant...

Le Glaude...I live...I'm hungry...I'M HUNGRY!!

Thank you, Glaude!

Turn around!

Turn around!

But I've already seen you naked, even when you were you age!

Don't start bugging me...turn around, I'm asking you...!

Le Glaude, what are you doing?

Well...I'd like to "arrange" you...

"Arrange" me?

Just try and I'll break the potty on your head!

But, La Francine, you're my wife, and you're allowed to "arrange" your own wife...

The potty on your head!

Well, little brothers, that's a good start...! Oh well...

I had to be a dream, Francine's return!

You're wearing the latest fashion!

You're right, a real scarecrow!

You still have that filthy animal!

It should be shot, this vermin...

Speaking about vermin, Le Bomb, is he dead yet?

No, he's not dead, he's sick!

So, if you see him, tell him you're a great-niece of mine!

I have to go to Jaligny, I have nothing to wear... give me some money!

Well, how much do you want?

Give me whatever I need! When you have a wife, you feed and clothe her!

A wife...a wife...!

Hey, it's my old-age retirement money!

Now it's young people's retirement money, little father!

Where's my bicycle?

Tell me... what have you done with my bicycle?

I sold your bike!

You sold my bike?!

Well, you don't usually pedal in coffins!

While I'm away, you'll clear the table and wash the dishes!

And instead of emptying mugs with your crony, you'd better scrub the floor!

You can't even see the color of the floor tiles anymore!

Now I won't allow you to speak like that!

After all, I did bring you beautiful geraniums and beautiful petunias...

From now on, you won't "arrange" me and no more chores either!

All my life I've washed the sheets in the river, prepared the fridge...

That life, I saw nothing of it, it flashed by like lightning without anything...

So, one life lost, that's enough! I'm lucky enough to get a second chance...

so I want to have fun, laugh and sing! That's it!

But I must inform you that it's thanks to me that you're alive today!

If I hadn't farted, you wouldn't be here...

because, when I fart, La Denre arrives right away in his flying saucer!

Well well, you must have emptied quite a few barrels of cheap wine while I was gone!

Well, little ones, little brothers, we're off to a real good start!

Where are you headed?

To Jaligny...

Hop in, I'm going there too!

- Let's go!|- Thank you!

I tore my dress... do I'll find a new one in Jaligny?

Don't buy a dress, buy a pair of jeans and a T-shirt.

You're not from around here, are you?

I'm from Moulins, I came to take care of my great-uncle, Glaude Ratinier.

Ha, Ratinier... Just put him on a water diet, he'll be cured instantly!

What's your name?

Francine...

Mine is Catherine La Mouette...

Great weather, don't you think?

Let's go in, OK!

Here's a T-shirt...

Thank you!

And here you are, pants...

You have great breasts... I wish I had the same...

Mine, next to yours, look like Laurel and Hardy...!

Wow, it's superb like that!

Not at all, it doesn't fit me at all, it's much too tight...

It's very pretty and, what's more, it'll attract guys like flies...

Where were you brought up, in the woods?

There you go!

You see, your T-shirt fits you like a glove!

Hey, Catherine!

Come, come!

Let me introduce you to Lulu and Robert... Francine...

Well, Lulu, what's going on? Step up to the next floor!

Watch out! He's the biggest ladies' man of the gang!

What's this attire?! You've lost your marbles, La Francine!

Are you so hot that you have to go around almost bare-assed?

It's at the cemetary that you learnt all those bad manners?

I'm talking to you!

Ho, you're a slut!

No, I won't scrub the floor!

And my change?

Take it!

But you've gone soft in the head, to show your ass like that to any passerby!

But I'm only sunbathing, it's not a crime...

Anyone could show up!

So what? It's not disgusting! Some people pay to see women getting undressed!

You wouldn't want me to take money for it, would you?

But it's not done, nom di Diou, nom di Diou, you slut!

You should have remained 6 ft. under, you vermin!

It's nice to hear that! I've barely been alive 24 hours and you already wish me dead!

Anyway, you should know before it's your turn to die, that I slept with Le Bomb!

You slept with Le Bomb?

You're not amused, are you? You'd like to see me back in my grave, wouldn't you?

Exactly, I slept with Le Bomb!

When? A little while ago?

Of course not, you twit, not a while ago but when you were a prisoner!

Touch me and you're dead!

I was never told...

We weren't going to tell you...

Why did you do that?

I was bored...

He was bored... you were so far away...

It was nothing...

So, in the end, you were just a...

Not even that... I was a lonely woman...

Forgive me!

No!

But that was 40 years ago...!

For me, that's all new!

I've just been told I'm a cuckold, and I'm supposed to feel good about it!

But you can't be a cuckold 40 years after the fact!

When you came back, it was all over, and I loved you just like before...

I swear to it!

It's enough to drive you crazy!

You mustn't!

You don't mind if I go out?

Where to?

To the ball with Catherine La Mouette...

The little La Mouette?

Not that little... we're both 20!

I'll never get used to your goddamn 20 years old!

Go dance, have fun and come home whenever you want!

Thank you, Glaude!

I'm no longer your husband, your father, your grandfather...

Yes, but you're a good man, my Glaude!

I'm off!

Hands up, Judas!

Don't be an a**hole! What's gotten into you?

What's gotten into me is that I'm a cuckold!

And by you, vermin!

But how can you be a cuckold, you don't even have a wife?!

I used to have one, and you "arranged" her when I was a prisoner...

It never happened, I swear on my mother's head!

This one is for wild boar...

this one, for elephants...

Now, I'll have your mug go through the wall!

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