South Park

Synopsis: The curious, adventure-seeking, fourth grade group of boys, Stan, Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny, all join in in buffoonish adventures that sometimes evolve nothing. Sometimes something that was simple at the start, turns out to get out of control. Everything is odd in the small mountain town, South Park, and the boys always find something to do with it.
Genre: Animation, Comedy
  Won 5 Primetime Emmys. Another 10 wins & 78 nominations.
 
IMDB:
8.7
TV-MA
Year:
1997
22 min
2,792 Views


EXT. SCHOOL BUS STOP - MORNING

STAN, KYLE AND KENNY wait in the snow for their school bus,

holding their lunch boxes and debating.

KIDS:

(Singing)

School days school days, teacher's

golden-

Kyle's little brother, IKE, bounces into frame.

KYLE:

-Ah damn it, my little brother's

trying to follow me to school again.

IKE tries to talk.

IKE:

BaBa Simi

KYLE:

Ike, you can't come to school with

me!

IKE:

BaBa Simi ba baa.

CARTMAN:

Yeah, go home you little dildo.

KYLE:

Dude! Don't call my brother a dildo.

STAN:

What's a dildo?

KYLE:

I don't know... and I'll bet Cartman

doesn't know either!

CARTMAN:

I know what it means!

KYLE:

Well, what?!

CARTMAN:

...I'm not telling you.

STAN:

What's a dildo, Kenny?

Kenny talks, but we can't understand him through his thick

coat.

KENNY:

Mph rmph phrmph m phrmph mmr.

The boys all laugh.

CARTMAN:

HA YEAH! THAT'S WHAT KYLE'S LITTLE

BROTHER IS ALRIGHT!!

Suddenly, Kyle grabs Ike by the feet, swings him around, and

bashes Cartman in the face.

CARTMAN:

OW!

STAN:

Dude that kicks ass!

KYLE:

Yeah! Check this one out!

(to Ike)

Ready Ike? Kick the baby

IKE:

Don't kick the baby.

KYLE:

Kick the baby.

Kyle kicks his brother down the icy road.

IKE:

Wahhhhh!

Ike shoots down the road with a playful scream, and crashes

head first into a group of mail boxes.

Cartman yawns grotesquely.

STAN:

Whoa, Cartman, looks like you didn't

get much sleep last night.

CARTMAN:

That's 'cause I was having these

bogus nightmares.

KYLE:

Really, what about?

CARTMAN:

Well, I dreamt that I was lying in

my bed... In the dark...

INT. CARTMAN'S BEDROOM - DREAM SEQUENCE

Cartman is lying in his bed.

CARTMAN(V.O.)

...When all of a sudden this bright

blue light filled the room.

A bright light fills the room.

CARTMAN:

And slowly my bedroom door began to

open... And then the next thing I

remember, I was being drug through a

hallway!

INT. ALIEN SHIP - DREAM SEQUENCE

Cartman is being dragged by his ankles down a dark, organic

corridor like the one seen in 'Fire In The Sky'.

CARTMAN:

Then I was lying on a table, and

these scary aliens wanted to operate

on me! And they had big heads...

And big black eyes-

EXT. BUSSTOP - (REALITY)

The boys are listening to Cartman's story with wide eyes and

open mouths. Even little Ike is enthralled.

STAN:

Dude! Visitors!

KYLE:

Totally!

CARTMAN:

What?

STAN:

That wasn't a dream, Cartman, those

were visitors!

CARTMAN:

(Nervous)

No, it was just a dream. My mom said

so!

STAN:

Visitors are real!

KYLE:

Yeah, they abduct people and they

mutilate cows!

CARTMAN:

Ah shut up, you guys, you're just

trying to make me scared, and it's

not working.

A large Chevy screeches to a halt. CHEF gets out of the car

and approaches the kids.

CHEF:

Hello there, children.

KIDS:

Hey, Chef.

STAN:

What's gonna be for lunch today,

Chef?

CHEF:

Well, today it's Salisbury steak

with buttered noodles and a choice

of green bean casserole or vegetable

medley.

CARTMAN:

Kick ass!

CHEF:

Say, did any of you children see the

alien spaceship last night?

CARTMAN:

HUH?!

STAN:

Yeah, fat boy saw it!

CARTMAN:

No! Th-That was just a dream! And

I'm NOT fat, I'm big-boned.

Rate this script:4.5 / 4 votes

Matt Stone

Matthew Richard "Matt" Stone (born May 26, 1971) is an American actor, animator, screenwriter, television director, producer, singer, and songwriter. He is best known for being the co-creator of South Park along with his creative partner Trey Parker, as well as co-writing the 2011 multi-Tony Award winning musical The Book of Mormon. more…

All Matt Stone scripts | Matt Stone Scripts

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Submitted by acronimous on May 17, 2016

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