South Park
- TV-MA
- Year:
- 1997
- 22 min
- 2,792 Views
EXT. SCHOOL BUS STOP - MORNING
STAN, KYLE AND KENNY wait in the snow for their school bus,
holding their lunch boxes and debating.
KIDS:
(Singing)
School days school days, teacher's
golden-
Kyle's little brother, IKE, bounces into frame.
KYLE:
-Ah damn it, my little brother's
trying to follow me to school again.
IKE tries to talk.
IKE:
BaBa Simi
KYLE:
Ike, you can't come to school with
me!
IKE:
BaBa Simi ba baa.
CARTMAN:
Yeah, go home you little dildo.
KYLE:
Dude! Don't call my brother a dildo.
STAN:
What's a dildo?
KYLE:
I don't know... and I'll bet Cartman
doesn't know either!
CARTMAN:
I know what it means!
KYLE:
Well, what?!
CARTMAN:
...I'm not telling you.
STAN:
What's a dildo, Kenny?
Kenny talks, but we can't understand him through his thick
coat.
KENNY:
The boys all laugh.
CARTMAN:
HA YEAH! THAT'S WHAT KYLE'S LITTLE
BROTHER IS ALRIGHT!!
Suddenly, Kyle grabs Ike by the feet, swings him around, and
bashes Cartman in the face.
CARTMAN:
OW!
STAN:
Dude that kicks ass!
KYLE:
Yeah! Check this one out!
(to Ike)
Ready Ike? Kick the baby
IKE:
Don't kick the baby.
KYLE:
Kick the baby.
Kyle kicks his brother down the icy road.
IKE:
Wahhhhh!
Ike shoots down the road with a playful scream, and crashes
head first into a group of mail boxes.
Cartman yawns grotesquely.
STAN:
Whoa, Cartman, looks like you didn't
get much sleep last night.
CARTMAN:
That's 'cause I was having these
bogus nightmares.
KYLE:
Really, what about?
CARTMAN:
Well, I dreamt that I was lying in
my bed... In the dark...
INT. CARTMAN'S BEDROOM - DREAM SEQUENCE
Cartman is lying in his bed.
CARTMAN(V.O.)
...When all of a sudden this bright
A bright light fills the room.
CARTMAN:
And slowly my bedroom door began to
open... And then the next thing I
remember, I was being drug through a
hallway!
INT. ALIEN SHIP - DREAM SEQUENCE
Cartman is being dragged by his ankles down a dark, organic
corridor like the one seen in 'Fire In The Sky'.
CARTMAN:
Then I was lying on a table, and
these scary aliens wanted to operate
on me! And they had big heads...
And big black eyes-
EXT. BUSSTOP - (REALITY)
The boys are listening to Cartman's story with wide eyes and
open mouths. Even little Ike is enthralled.
STAN:
Dude! Visitors!
KYLE:
Totally!
CARTMAN:
What?
STAN:
That wasn't a dream, Cartman, those
were visitors!
CARTMAN:
(Nervous)
No, it was just a dream. My mom said
so!
STAN:
Visitors are real!
KYLE:
Yeah, they abduct people and they
mutilate cows!
CARTMAN:
Ah shut up, you guys, you're just
trying to make me scared, and it's
not working.
A large Chevy screeches to a halt. CHEF gets out of the car
and approaches the kids.
CHEF:
Hello there, children.
KIDS:
Hey, Chef.
STAN:
What's gonna be for lunch today,
Chef?
CHEF:
Well, today it's Salisbury steak
with buttered noodles and a choice
of green bean casserole or vegetable
medley.
CARTMAN:
Kick ass!
CHEF:
Say, did any of you children see the
alien spaceship last night?
CARTMAN:
HUH?!
STAN:
Yeah, fat boy saw it!
CARTMAN:
No! Th-That was just a dream! And
I'm NOT fat, I'm big-boned.
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